Ciara’s stepping out of the box with her next release Fantasy Ride, packaging three discs for one album.

According to Billboard each disc will feature 5 or 6 songs that will be based on one of three themes. The first disc “Groove City” shows the sexy side of Ciara, while the second disc, “Crunktown,” will feature the up tempo club bangers. Fans can spin disc three, “Kingdom of Dance,” for Ciara’s house sound with freestyle-laden tracks.  [ source ]

That sounds like a pretty good deal. I hope this isn’t one of those BET/Wal-Mart special edition packages, though…trying to be different.

Nothing very outstanding about this album cover, at all. So, we will see just how well it does.

Is that supposed to be Young Buck in the back? What is he doing?

[ cover via Rap Up ]

I caught my mother singing the chorus from “Rehab” yesterday, followed by her saying, “Crackheads are taking over”. I love that woman!

So, Amy was sighted at her home in London greeting some children who stopped by to say hello. The big pink cheery fellow is her father. Sweet, right? Well, it sort of looks like she was asking if any of them had a HoneyBun or some Pringles on their person, but I could be wrong.

I am so mad at this upcoming XXL cover for so many reasons.

You have Rick Ross’ breasts sitting up there looking lactate. We have DJ Khaled wearing the same Dickie shit he always wears. Trina is sporting a new push-up bra. Flo-Rida is in a wifebeater…once again. Then finally “The Gunshine State” is plastered across the front. Now, I love all these people and that they represent my city, but come the fuck on! Oh, I am so dreading this Memorial Day Weekend (aka Urban Beach Week aka Drunk Coloreds Act A Fool By The Sea Week).

I leave you today with a music video. This is funny, because if I never see Forhedda’s face again, I won’t mind.

Enjoy.

The one thing I love and respect about B.Scott is his honesty and will to share himself with the world. There are some videos that he posts on Youtube that delve so far into his personal life that I wonder why he even feels the need to give viewers that much of his soul. Now, I know it is because there are other people out there just like him and by not fearing to be who he truly is, he inspires everyone else to do the same — love themselves. For that, I honor him.

See, I can be nice.

Anyway, B.Scott has a new social network called Double Kisses. I encourage his fans and followers to go join and show him support. If you are brand new, get into it.

Can you…feel a…brand new day?

Earlier this week, Kelly’s lawyers submitted a new motion appealing to have the case temporarily delayed due to a recent “torrent of publicity” surrounding the case, which they feel could have a negative effect on the trial’s outcome.

But a Chicago judge dismissed Kelly’s attorneys’ request on Friday, when jury selection was due to start, and ruled trial proceedings will continue as planned–six years after he was charged with having sex with a minor. The 41-year-old has pleaded not guilty to 14 charges of child pornography, after a videotape emerged allegedly showing him having sex with an underage girl. [ source ]

Hurt! It’s about time the judge slammed the gavel down on this mess. Robert probably had about four new albums and a greatest hits DVD in the works — not worried about a thing. Slap in the face much? Piss on that!

Today, Remy wept as she pleaded to the judge.

“I stand here today as Remy Mackie,” she said with tears in her eyes as she asked for leniency. “I’m a loving wife, mother and loving daughter and loving sister to my brothers and sisters.”

Remy also addressed Barnes-Joseph. “I apologize for not saving you from your physical and mental scars.”

Before delivering the sentence of 8 years, the judge gave a statement.

“I’ve learned Remy is an intelligent and charitable young woman,” the judge said. “She’s overcome a difficult childhood. Her music has inspired people in need. She’s loved and has support from her family.”

After the complementary remarks, the judge turned her remarks to accountability.

“This is somewhat of a pattern. This is not the first time she has been engaged in a violent act. She never took responsibility for her actions. This has nothing to do with rap it’s about the actions of one person. Remy is an extremely angry young woman who feels the rules do not apply to her.” [ source ]

Damn. I’m sure Reminisce will be free before her 8 year sentence in the chokie. Until then she better protect that pattywhack, stock up on Spam sandwiches, and start digging an escape tunnel via spork.

They better be serious snatching intros from 20th Century Fox. Those old white folk aren’t Ja Rule –  they are not afraid to come after ya’ll asses.

This felt like a typical G-Unit video to me. It is a nice record for the clubs (the ones with poles and the ones without). The only issue I had was that it sounds like Five Dimes is saying, “I like the way she douche“, in the hook. I was so certain that my speculations were being proven as true. I was wrong, though.

I can’t deal with Robert today.

In a case that has taken six years to reach court, defense attorneys for R. Kelly are once again seeking to delay the trial for the R&B singer who is facing multiple child pornography charges.

As jury selection in Kelly’s case is set to begin this Friday (May 8), according to the Chicago Tribune, legal experts and observes are doubtful that the last minute request will be granted.

The defense team filed a motion on Wednesday asking Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan to shelve the trial temporarily because of “a torrent of publicity surrounding the case.”  [ source ]

You know we are living in our last days when a child pornography trial works on CP time. I’m through with this shit.

Kim Kardashian recently admitted to having cellulite removal treatments all for the love of her man Reggie Bush.

“…my sisters and I went to the American Laser Center for our usual laser hair removal (I recommend this to everyone as well!) and the nurse informed us of a cellulite treatment called VelaShape.

You have got to read about it! It is basically a non-surgical device that massages the needed area and stimulates the blood circulation so that it minimizes cellulite. I only had time for one treatment, but I am definitely planning to go back for more!” [ source ]

For you to have them shoot all that leftover hog fat in your ass and then try to buff it away is a story in need of an explanation, but whatever. As Fresh would say — girl, bye!

“We’ve always been friends (…) But we’re very close now,” ~ Rihanna on Chris Brown

I have a serious question. Why the hell do celebrities lie about their relationships? We all know they’re fucking, so what is the point of denying it?

Chris Brown and Forhedda were spotted all hugged and kissed up (which they could have done at the hotel or in the car if they are trying to hide it…lightbulb) at a Miami KFC after the Glow in the Dark show Tuesday night. Talk about an obvious ploy! Ya’ll take that shit somewhere.

Now if you are going to jack one’s wig game the least you could do is pull it off the right way. I mean, really!

I suppose this is a promotional photo for Ashanti’s “upcoming” album. Seeing as how I am not a fan of hers, I am definitely failing to understand her new attitude (can’t say I give a damn either). She is giving me some kind of Pulp Fiction/Vampire in Brooklyn feel here…like she bit Nelly’s penis off and keeps it in that cup.

[ spotted at ThatGrapeJuice // shouts to Ed the World Famous ]

I’m really starting to believe that Chris’ manager is indeed swallowing his kids. I took a good look at this picture and had to drop a side-eye/squint-eye combo. There is definitely a fly in the Metamucil!

Hey, Omarion! If you are willing to mud-wrestle a Bajan with the forehead of a warrior, you may have a shot at love with Chrissy. Are you interested?

(God forgive me…)

This is a term that has always spoken a thousand words!

[ shouts to Mike Brown the REMIX ]

I meant to post this video up a while ago. Def Jam made a great decision in signing 16-year old Karina Pasian. She has a great voice and an amazing talent. Her debut single, “16 @ War”, is an absolutely perfect gift to teenagers. Lord knows, I have felt like a feuding outsider when I was that age, but I was bad.

Anyway, check out the stellar little New York princess at MeetKarina.net. You will be getting nothing but love at The Fury, girl. Unless you start acting crazy…then I’m going to roast your ass!

So, word is Omarion was seen riding around Hollywood in a brand new Bentley this week accompanied by his new “girlfriend”. On the count of three, let’s all throw in our side-eyes!

It’s cool that O is attempting to get over that heart-breaker, Bow Wow and his two-timing ways. However, there is no need for him to lie to himself. This is some bad business.

An Angolan man accused of robbing 50 Cent’s diamond chain during a concert in Africa now faces criminal charges.

A two-minute video clip – posted on YouTube over the weekend – shows the G-Unit rapper performing onstage at the International Peace Festival in Luanda, Angola last Wednesday.

Suddenly, a man in a yellow T-shirt jumps from the crowd and snatches the rapper’s chain.

50 Cent and several security guards then chase after the thief as he runs off into the crowded audience.

According to the Angola Press, the robber was turned over to authorities by his parents on Sunday, who identified their son in the video clip.

He has been identified as Bruno Carvalho.

50 Cent has not commented on the incident. [ source ]

Well ain’t that about a bitch? Now that boy’s parents knew good and damn well that Curtis’ chain could have earned them a lifetime supply of imported Hamburger Helper…plus club money to spare. Why the betrayal?

A woman will testify at R. Kelly’s upcoming child-pornography trial that she had a three-way sexual encounter with Kelly and the allegedly underage girl shown in the videotape at the center of the case, the Chicago Sun-Times reported on Saturday (May 3). Jury selection for the long-delayed case is scheduled to begin Friday.

In the case, prosecutors claim to have identified the girl in the videotape, who is now in her 20s. Kelly’s lawyers are planning to argue — and the alleged victim will reportedly testify — that she is not the girl in the tape, according to the Sun-Times.

But the new witness could weaken that defense, since she will identify the girl — and claim the girl was underage — sources reportedly told the paper. [ source ]

There are so many things wrong with this story.

I’m glad someone is trying to bring some truth to the light, but I would not be the one to go on record saying that I may have slurped on a 14-year old’s pattywhack with R.Kelly. That is just nasty and I hope this woman has made her peace with The Lord for that.

Hopefully, this twist in events will play a siginificant role in the trial (if that shit ever kicks off). I’m ready for Robert to go to the chokie. 

Please treat yourself to this video of Five Dimes getting his chain swiftly snatched from his neck by a concertgoer in Angola Africa! After a few minutes of performing one of his records, you can see a daring young man jet on stage, grab the jewelry, then bust a 180° and haul ass! That is some fantastic shit there.

Young Buck, how many pickled eggs did you offer this guy to pull this off?

There can be miracles…when you believe.

Although I am not a Ryan Leslie fan (even though he is very talented), he came leaps and bounds from his highschool days in terms of looks. There is still a creepiness in his image, if you ask me, but damn he used to look like a Pokemon card guru. That just goes to show what a little money and Puff Daddy love-making can get you.

Oh, I think I found Ryan’s long lost twin, too!

Oh, these Negroes are still alive? I thought Diddy would have had them starving by now.

So, the question is:

What would you dress Day 26 in if you had the chance?

“Double your pleasure, double your fun!” Um, Doublemint gum better have gotten a check for that shit!

Anyway, I would usually roast anything to do with Chris Brown, just because I’m not a fan of yellow cake…I’m kidding. I did enjoy this video just a tad. The visual effects were really nice and it all compliments the song. So, as Khia would say, “I’m not gon’ bash your ass” on this here post!

So, Sandra Rose is reporting that Yung Berg and Bow Wow are good chums now! They were seen together at a local bowling alley a few nights ago and as you can seen Shad could not keep his hands off of Berg. Talk about a chop! I bet their night ended in hot wax and cold lube.

Omarion, you should have logged on to dontdatehimgirl.com and checked this fool out before you let him pluck your rosebud. I don’t care how much he makes your booty toot!

L’Mama looks like a melted pack of Tropical Laffy Taffy sticks.

My reaction to this was very much like her body language in that first photo. I just don’t get it, but somebody else does…somewhere…God bless ‘em. Lil Mama’s debut album, VYP: Voice of the Young People, is in stores today.

“First and foremost, 50 told me some smart shit. 50 told me move him [Bow Wow] out the game, period. He told me to crush him. He told me demolish him. He told me do the ‘Do That There’ remix with him on it and then come up with my diss record and totally move him out of music. But, I don’t wanna do that. I can see me and Bow fucking a lot of bitches together. [Over Omarion’s dead body, you nasty bastard! — Kid Fury ] My whole thing is either you’re going to be an alliance on this [Snoop Dogg] tour this summer, or it’s, ‘Fuck you!’ Period. I don’t need you as a friend. I came in the game by myself.” [ source ] ~ Yung Berg on his issue with Bow Wow

Um, Yung Berg, is it? Since neither you nor Shad are significant in Hip-Hop or music in general, how about both of you babbit ass hoes sit down somewhere? Just a suggestion.

Check out Forhedda leaving KFC (it figures) draped up like a tart version of one of The Lost Boys. Is that a Dereon bow?

I love how homegirl with the autumn sunrise hairdo talked Rih-Rih into adding her to the entourage — trying to be famous by association. Get on the Greyhound and take your clown-head ass home, girl!

This is one of the only songs by The Dream that I can say I love. I’m not a big fan of the album and when Michael from The Cynical Ones said he looks like a Teddy Graham, I lost all of my mind.

Anyway, the video is boring. There isn’t much else to say, except the explicit version is better and they should have kept this shit Ninja Turtle free.

Looks like those lady lumps are packed to maximum capacity! Is ya-is ya-is ya hungry?

The always so lovely Halle Berry made an appearance at the Silver Rose Awards this past weekend, and looked amazing for a woman who just pushed a baby out of her juice box little over a month ago. I believe Halle will have men standing at attention until they bury her ass a G.

More pics can be found at Zimbio.

Don’t ask me why Five Dimes is running around the desert murking folks in his new videogame, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand — it makes no sense to me. The trailer for the game looks great, though. On the other hand, the trailer for the last game was impressive, but the actual product was about as much fun as scrubbing the nooks and crannies on Aretha Franklin’s tittays. We’ll see what happens.

Oh, and Young Buck was supposedly excluded from the game…ain’t that a slap on the ass?

Seeing as how I probably won’t have time to post anything up here today, I decided to leave you with my new favorite web clip. Please enjoy and have a great weekend.

So, The Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious wrapped last night with the finale on The CW. Please, do not feel left out if you have never heard of this show — you’re better off. Anyway, the winners and members of the new girl group Girlicious are Natalie, Chrystina, Nichole, and Tiffanie.

Judging by their first single, “Like Me”, produced by Jazze “Poak Chop Pizza” Pha, and the accompanying video, would you say that these chicks will make it in the industry? To be honest, with a name like Girlicious, I think they were sitting shitty before they even started.

Man down!

You know, Plies is an artist all his own. I don’t understand him and that is okay. I respect him because like he continuously says, he is real. On the other hand, I would have picked a less horrifying cover for an album. I’m just saying…this is the kind of shit that traumatizes babies.

His lips just reminded me of something. I have some left over sausage links in the icebox! Now all I need is some pancake batter.

I love how Alicia Keys tries to turn all of her music videos into little mini-movies…even when they don’t make sense. It is entertaining. One problem I have, however, is the constant breaks in the track to play out a scene. It’s like, “Damn. Can we just hear the song?”

“Teenage Love Affair” features cameos by the dozens. See if you can catch them all.

KizzyRow called in sick to the Wig Crypt a few days ago and spent some time on Miami Beach catching some sun instead. She might end up missing.

We all have those days where we just want to let our armpits feel the fresh sea breeze and not worry about life’s trials. I’m not mad at Kizz at all…with those brand new boobies. Tell me that mean mug in the middle doesn’t tickle your soul just a bit.

Nothing like some old home videos to set the soul right. Check out this clip of Girls Tyme (who eventually became Destiny’s Child) rehearsing some dance moves way back when. You have got to love memories like that, don’t you? Plus, the few shots of Papa Knowles wandering around with his Joe Jackson scowl on…oh, they just make it all worth while.

I vote to have all of those outfits reborn into a Dereon: Vintage Edition for girls this fall. Cut me my check, Tina!

Is this new picture of Teairra Mari supposed to symbolize the beginning of a rebellion against the wig crypt? I suggest she sits on down and gets back to sewing before Baby Daniel has her pissing in tin cans in the desert somewhere.

…looking like Zeena the Warrior Jackass.

The Rules:

• Link the person who tagged you.
  
• Mention the rules in your blog.
  
• Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
  
• Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
  
• Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they have been tagged.

6 Furious Facts about Me:

1. I hate McDonald’s food. I had a bad McNugget when I was little and the bitch at the counter gave me attitude about it. I never went back.

2. I do a lot of dancing on my free time. I know the choreography to damn near every urban dance video created.

3. I fight girls. I try not to make a habit out of it, but some chicks go too far. One of my cousins tried to show out and called my grandmother a bitch last year…I beat the shit out of her.

4. I’m Jamaican — not too outrageously flashy about it, but I’m proud. I think Jamaica is the best place in the world.

5. I can’t stand unnecessary noise.

6. I was in anger management when I was 15. Shit ain’t work.

Now, I’m supposed to pass this around to 6 of my fellow bloggers, but I don’t want to. So, if you read this and you have a blog, consider yourself tagged.

The Knowles Effect — a rapidly spreading disorder which taps into the human psyche causing patients to believe that they are Beyoncé Knowles. Those experiencing The Knowles Effect often dress, act, dance, sing, and pose as Beyoncé in public. Researchers say the sickness travels through Popeye’s chicken and may have been created by Tina Knowles.

No, seriously speaking, I thought this video was cute. That wig was a huge NO, but the rest I’m not mad at. Little kids having fun is always good.

You, on the other hand…  

Some of you sports fans, may know Santonio Holmes as the wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Others may know him as another football player with a criminal record. Now, we can all know him as the brother who likes to rock out with his cock out on the Internet. For some reason a photo of Holmes standing stark naked in the shower landed in my inbox today. I don’t get it. Is he pursuing a porn career or is Myspace starting a nude modeling feature?

Whatever. If anyone is interested in seeing a penis this evening (nobody can judge you but God), jump under the cut!

So, according to what I’ve read at Rap-Up.com, Plies just got done shooting a video with Ne-Yo for his record, “Bust It Baby Pt.2″. Please hold in your yelps of excitement until the end of the presentation.

Now, I’m going to give you my own speculated statement on how the video will turn out. Plies will be driving around South Florida in candy-painted dunks and all kinds of hood-fab cars. There will be countless cameos from Florida artists such as DJ Khaled, Rick Ross, Cool & Dre, Trina (if Kizzy ships the wig in on time), K-Foxx, Flo-Rida, and so on. Khia unfortunately gets no love. Plies will wear over-sized tees with some snazzy phrase on the front and matching caps. Then of course these beasts will be in every scene.

That is it. If you doubt my prediction, put your money on the table and tune into BET in a week or so to see the outcome.