I just want everyone to know that this song and video are the reason for the fucking season. Get in.

Onika is featured in this month’s issue of Paper Magazine — the fashion issue. She looks cute as usual, but her hands in the photo below are concerning me. They kind of remind me of those things that popped out of the cups in that Beetlejuice dinner scene. Maybe a little Jergens…or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I stan!

The cover for Keri’s newest single, “Breaking Point” is very…well, basic. Not that there isn’t an interesting subtlety about it somewhere — I’m just bothered by the obvious Creole makeover here. Is Keri playing I Am…Beyoncé Fierce dress-up or something?

Anyway, the song is sort of growing on me. That’s about all I can say about this shit at the moment.

While you all were throwing shade, Kizzy Row has been making a positive impact on our youth! The singer held a charity event in her hometown of Houston, TX along with her ex-bandmate, Letoya Luckett and Lala Vazquez. The gathering was part of her nonprofit, I Heart My Girlfriends — a young girl’s foundation focusing on self-esteem, dating violence prevention, abstinence, drug/alcohol prevention, and other topics.

Now don’t you feel bad for talking bad about Kelly’s wigs and things? Okay, I do most of the trash talking, but I still love her. More photos over at KiddUNot.com!

Hopefully, you were present in class when Jenny from Gossip Girl took shots at Rihanna’s style. Well Little J claims that it was all a misquote and she’s not worried about Rihanna’s puss.

“Quotes get spun — that was a misquote. That wasn’t what I said … I was arguing the difference between rock versus pop and that it’s a very pop-oriented world at the moment, and that there is no rock and that people who dress or have guitars in their music, you know, audiences, that’s the closest thing they have to rock right now. We’re looking to bring back a real rock band. And I wasn’t insulting Rihanna.” [Styleite]

The hallways are buzzing with gossip. Supposedly, Miss Barbados heard the alleged misquote and hunted for Taylor’s number. She then called her and told her to “act her age”, which led to the backpedal above. Hell, I thought all 17-year old girls said evil shit about other females.

I’ve been on this website talking about that Georgia Dome-sized head of hers for years — when is Rihanna gonna hit me up? I have plenty of rollover minutes to spare!

So I blame WorldStarHipHop.com, 106 & Park, Ampro Gel, Facebook, Black & Mild, Obama Beauty Supply, CitiTrends, and the American School System for this. I also blame Aboniye for sending this to me, but I still love you.

Oh, how I love my Jazmine Sullivan! I mean, Fearless is one of my favorite albums ever, so I’m so excited to hear what her upcoming Love Me Back will sound like. Here is the new video for Jazmine’s single, “Holding You Down (Goin’ In Circles)” — it has that old school Hip-Hop vibe, probably thanks to Missy who still thinks it’s 1986.

Besides that damn Nuvo plug, I really like the video and love the song. Check out the Mary J. Blige remix over at KiddUNot.com!

Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I actually listen to the records people send me. Well somehow this track made its way into my inbox last night and I was feeling perky, so I gave it my ear. Surprisingly, the song put an arch in my back and a shimmy in my shoulders within the first few seconds. I’m very picky when it comes to music, especially from artists I’ve never heard of, but this young woman stole my heart.

Her name is Kirby Maurier and the track is called “You”.  Let’s ignore the fact that she slightly resembles Keri Hilson in that picture. Kirby is a Miami native (go figure) with a beautiful gift and damn it, I like her. So, I want you all to check out her song “You” below which is available on iTunes, and let me know what you think.

Here’s a clip of Kirby singing “Halo” by Her Creole Magnificence.

Puffy and Kim Porter took a little time away from the flashing lights and shady queens of the world and went on vacation to the Bahamas. The kids got to tag along, of course, and it looks like the family had a good time. Hopefully, Kim’s body can be motivation for Diddy who is starting to look like a whole wheat bagel.

These photos have been snatched from The House of Bitchie!

He may piss on babies, but Robert is causing pantie waterfalls with this new record. “When A Woman Loves” is the first single off of his upcoming album, Love Letter, and please witness how he simply destroys his competition. No special effects, no wild dance moves, no rappers with multi-colored wigs — just music and vocals. You have to appreciate that.

Those glasses he’s wearing need to go back to Claire’s, though.

Onika’s debut is still a few months away, but is that stopping tracks from leaking left and right? Hell to the no! This new record titled “Check It Out” has fed my soul this afternoon with it’s upbeat quirkiness. The track was features its producer, will.i.am, and will appear on the Young Money LimeLight Exclusives 3 mixtape.

According to Nicki, this is an official version and a more updated cut will be released soon enough. A Pink Friday track, perhaps?

You can download “Check It Out” here!

Fanny Mae is still hot on the promo trail — she’s shed tears on Good Morning America, Behind The Music, and she’s still ripping up the mic. Although I’m still aggravated that she tried to kill herself, I’m very happy to see that she is pulling through and working hard. Dora the Explorer would be so proud of her mentee.

Click the flicks for a few clips from the AOL Sessions performance.

Not too long ago, Irv Gotti made a very bold statement in comparing Nicki Minaj to Queen Lauryn Noel Hill. I don’t even know where Miss Gotti came from with that shit, but here is what Onika has to say.

“Irv has been privy to hear things that I’ve done that the world hasn’t heard,” she says. “Based on the music I have out now, that sounds like an absurd comment, but when ‘Pink Friday’ comes out, you will completely understand why Irv made that comparison.”

“The people who still feel Nicki needs to prove herself — I agree with them. I love the fact that people still feel like, ‘Show me more, give me more,’ because that’s what I was born to do.” [CNN]

Now everyone knows that I’m Team Nicki, but I don’t know about this shit here. However, I will keep to my faith as a loyal stan and wait for the album’s release.

An owner of the popular black gay club Traxx Atlanta was shot and killed early Wednesday on a street in southwest Atlanta, according to police and media reports.

Durand Robinson (photo) of Decatur was found lying in the middle of Hadlock Street with a gunshot wound to his chest about 1 a.m. Wednesday. Media reports says Robinson is 50; his Facebook page indicates he is 41.

Family and friends told WSB that Robinson may have been the victim of an attempted carjacking, but Atlanta police say investigators have not determined a motive or named a suspect in the shooting

Robinson’s death comes a week before Black Gay Pride, the popular annual event over Labor Day Weekend that draws thousands of people to the city for scores of events. Traxx is sponsoring several official events with In the Life Atlanta, which organizes Black Gay Pride, along with other parties at various clubs including Traxx on Columbia Drive in Decatur. [ProjectQ]

Prayers and love out to all Mr. Robinson’s family, friends, and supporters!

My take on the Soula Stacks fuckery.

Also, check out KiddUNot.com where my dude, Kodak Boi, snapped photos of Rat Snacks looking like raw octopus in a CitiTrends outfit! According to the source and photos, this bitch is strung out on heroin — we’re living in our last days.

Personally, I would have just taken a photo of a Jergens bottle and left the album untitled, but I can’t always have my way. Radric’s third studio album is set for a September 28th release and will feature collaborations with Ciara, Nicki Minaj, Bun B, Wyclef Jean, and Swizz Beatz.

If Wacka Flocka’s mama records the album intro, I’m buying.

If you have seen the video for “Love In This Club”, then don’t even wast your time.

Tyler Perry has been officially cleared of any plagiarism claims. On Monday, Aug. 23 at the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, the judge ruled against a woman, Donna West, who claimed Perry stole her idea for a movie – “The Diary of a Mad Black Woman.” However, the judge ruled that no improper conduct occurred on the account of the filmmaker.

West attempted to get Perry caught up back in 08 in a Texas court, but the judge concluded she lacked evidence that supported her claim. She said the movie was taken from her play, “Fantasy of a Black Woman.” [EurWeb]

This doesn’t really change the fact that damn near all of his work carries the same story. Thanks to Tyler Perry Studios, I now know that prostitutes, cheaters, junkies, and abusers can all find Christ…and sing.

Most Precious Honey Bun Bey & The Husband have been overseas on vacation for a moment — wig to the wind and toes kissed by European sands! These are the latest golden nuggets in the set of photos. I’m sure Cousin Angie is around there picking up seashells and things of that nature. What a wonderful time!

I hear Spicy Jambalaya Giselle is already gearing up for her next album — no word on how many butch queens will be recruited for the process, but I’ll keep you posted!

Somebody help me figure out why Ciara is dressed like a clearance bin Bratz doll. She tore up the stage at this year’s Power Live concert in New York, but this outfit has me bewildered. What does Ciara look like?

God bless her.

Yes, The Real Houseflies of New Jersey is one of my guilty pleasures and quite frankly, I blame all of you. That’s right, if you Twitter lovelies didn’t spark my curiosity in these housewife shows, I wouldn’t know who the hell Nene Leakes and Danielle Staub are. Thank you so much for introducing me to this amazing pot of stir-fried fuckery!

If you missed the finale of RHONJ last night, catch the reruns and prepare for the two-part reunion show that begins next week. These girls are lighting fires underneath asses like I’ve never seen and I urge you to get your lives!

SN: My other guilty pleasures = Easy Mac & iCarly.

Looks like The Great Swami and his list of loud trademark phrases are wobbling over to Young Money/Cash Money. According to KarenCivil.com, Khaled met with Birdman (or Baby or whatever we’re supposed to call him) earlier today on a yacht in Miami and is now officially a part of YMCMB army. Congratulations to him, I suppose.

Yeah, she still exists — witness life after Diddy empties your pockets and leaves you for dead.

Anyway, after a bunch of rambling about  supposed reality shows and other nonsense, Babs Bunny announced that her tongue is fond of both male and female genitalia. Tell us something we did not already know, girl. I’m more concerned about that ponytail that you’ve been rocking for five years. I wonder if Geisha does house calls.

You all are looking at the face of a legend in the making. Sweet Queen Antoine Dodson’s hit record “Bed Intruder Song” has officially hit the Billboard Hot 100 list with the help of song’s producer’s The Gregory Brothers. Where is your fave?

Not only has the song’s YouTube clip been viewed nearly 14 million times, but “Bed Intruder Song” debuts this week on the Billboard Hot 100 at No. 89, almost exclusively from download sales. It also debuts on Hot Digital Songs at No. 49 with 30,000 downloads, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

Furthermore, Antoine and Kelly Dodson are listed as co-writers of the song, and their family will receive 50% of the track’s revenue. [Billboard]

So, on a scale of 1-10, how mad are you? HOW MAD?!

The blogs have been buzzing ever since Ciara showed up to the ATL premiere of Lil Mama’s Bow Wow’s new film The Lottery Ticket a week ago, and talk of a reunion between the ex-lovers came up. Personally, I completely forgot the two were ever a couple and I preferred it that way. However, Shad had this to say about Ciara’s appearance:

I was just as shocked as everybody else was. I’m happy that she came out and enjoyed the movie. I saw that she had tweeted about it so I hit her back and said ‘Thanks, I definitely appreciate it’. But you know how that is, the moment people see us even close or near each other it starts raising eyebrows but no, I’m totally focused to on the project at hand and my career right now. That’s all I will be focused on. I wish her the best of luck. I was definitely glad she came out and supported the film. We’re growing older, we’re maturing and we’re adults and we’re able to go to each other’s events. We’re not the only ex-couple I’ve seen support each other so it shows growth and it’s all good. [Necole Bitchie]

Girl, move.

Ciara needs all the publicity she can get at this point. She probably would have showed up to the grand opening of a condom wrapper if it had a red carpet. The girl probably didn’t even know Bow Wow was in this film. Albums need to be sold — there are bigger fish to fry here, Ms. Wow!

Well not really, but if I wanna imagine that Cassie was out purchasing Diddy’s flatbread sandwiches and travel douches, then let me be.

Anyway, while gliding around the goodness of Crunk & Disorderly, I ran into these candid photos of Cassie rocking her new hairstyle. I guess I can’t call her Lil Miss Half Head anymore — I’ll think of something else. The hair is cute and I feel like being nice for whatever reason, so…

Bravo is ready to loosen the doors to the Atlanta coop and let these hens run wild again. The 3rd season of  ATL’s The Real Housewives is set to premiere on October 4th and you know there will be fuckery, foolishness, and fun phrases for all! RHoA veterans Kim, Nene, Sheree, and Kandi are returning this time around, along with two new faces — Phaedra Parks, an entertainment lawyer with an ex-con for a husband, and Cynthia Bailey, a model with marriage hang-ups.

This next season will be the butter on my biscuits and I can’t wait for the weekly tweet sessions! Check out the preview below!

Keeping up with the hoodrat undertones of this website, I thought I would bring back one my favorite features — Hoodrat Tracks! Now this here is a record from a Miami artist by the name of Reese Head (I don’t name these people) featuring Lucky. The song is called “Dhatt” which seems to be some sort of new 305 catch phrase and it makes the kids go wild. I thought I would share it with you so we can all bask in the ratchetness together.

I’m gonna be doing a new hoodrat track every week, so feel free to send in suggestions.

@ChrisBrown: Yellow Cake decided to tweet a photo of him working on his community service trash detail. I’m not entirely sure why, but the fans love him shirtless and sweaty. I’m not gonna hate…today.

@4EverBrandy: Ms Norwood found herself tooted up next to Paris Hilton, who has proved that anybody can make the tragic mistake of using mismatched foundation. Let’s hope she gets it together.

@OGOchoCinco: Chile, please.

According to Glamour Magazine, they sure are. The two men and their lesbian buddy made the publication’s 50 Sexiest Men of 2010 list. Of course they were all shoved to back by the vampire from Twilight, who took home the winning prize, but I’m sure it’s flattering to be mentioned — especially for these three.

Also on the list are the werewolf, Will Smith, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, The Jonas Brothers, Russell Brand and more.

Royal Golden Brown Giselle The Great is still pulling out chairs for these other girls to sit their asses in — yes, that includes you Kelly. This beautiful bean footage is said to be featured on her upcoming tour DVD. Get into this fat-free delight supplied by Beyoncé and her faithful butch queen as they dance to “Why Don’t You Love Me”. Don’t be afraid to squeeze into your club heels and practice!

“Fantasia and Antwaun are back together again and they have even talked about marriage once his divorce is finalized with Paula. She knows that her family will only fully accept her relationship with him when he is no longer married.”

“Antwaun has finally committed to Fantasia and his wife knows that their relationship is definitely over now. They want the divorce pushed through as soon as possible and Fantasia is determined to marry him and she wants to start a family with him, too.” [DrJays]

Dizzy hoes are having the best year ever!

[Fantasia photo from FreddyO]

I’ve been trying to perfect my impersonation of  Trey Songz aka Sugar Pussy Tremaine for so long, but thanks to this gentleman and his abstract hair-do, I now have a how-to guide. Feel free to try it out on your leisure time.

Thanks to Mike Brown the REMIX for tweeting this to me!

Oh, I’m not letting you listen to shit before we discuss this damn photo. Why is Keri in this picture looking like a busted version of Cammy from Street Fighter? This time last year I would have been spewing stan venom, but I just can’t defend this chick anymore.

Anyway, Cammy Hilson has a new record out called “Breaking Point”, produced by Timbaland, which they have decided will be the first single off of her upcoming sophomore album, No Boys Allowed [insert slow sigh here]. There is supposedly a video in the works — although, I don’t think she should bother. This song ain’t going anywhere.

Listen Below!

Sugar Pussy Tremaine is in your grill again with the video for his latest single, “Bottoms Up”, featuring Lady Onika. This record is the first single off of his 735th album, Passion, Pain, & Pleasure, which hits stores on September 14. My opinion: Nicki smashed this — other than that, this is hot piss!

The video is like an odd bastard child of Usher’s “Lil Freak” and Rihanna’s “Disturbia”. Maybe I need to be drunk or high off of Drake’s sweet loving in order to get Trey’s vision. Whatever, at least he didn’t cry this time.

Fanny wants all of her fans to know that they helped pull her through these tough times…you know, after she slept with another woman’s husband and then had an all-you-can-eat Tylenol buffet.

“I can’t thank my fans enough for their prayers and support during such a challenging time,” the star said in Monday’s statement. “It has given me the motivation to get back to work . . . I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this album and I pray that everyone enjoys it as much as I do.” [C&D]

Girl…

So, R. Kelly and that girl from BET who slept with LisaRaye’s husband were shaking ass and shit in Chicago this past weekend, and at some point this happened. I don’t know how this mystery woman managed to get her Stanley Steemer so close to Robert’s nostrils, but frankly I’m disgusted. Not because she’s making the singer sniff her fish box — I’m sick at that horrible ass outfit she’s displaying. Pay attention, ladies! This is something you don’t wear to the club, unless you’re giving sucky in the bathroom to keep your lights on.

Fuckery experienced at Necole Bitchie!

If you have been down in the dumps about our Weezy being locked away in Rikers, this report should lift your spirits just a bit. Seems like Wayne is living like a king!

Lil Wayne might be locked up in Rikers Island — but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy Ramen soup, Ruffles potato chips and different flavors of Kool-Aid.

TMZ has obtained Weezy’s food order from last month — which shows that, in addition to the munchies (including the dreaded Beefsticks), the rapper purchased 20 sets of stamps and envelopes. Who wouldn’t love a handwritten note from Lil Wayne? [TMZ]

Ramen Noodles, Ruffles, and Kool-Aid?! I don’t give a roasted and toasted shit about what anyone thinks — that’s some good stuff! He even got Doritos! At least we know Tunechi is getting the proper snack treatment! All he needs now is a few Little Debbie snacks and a six-pack of peach-flavored Chek soda and he’s set.

Ms. Jackson wants all you kids to know that she’s been on Lady Gaga’s team since throwback jerseys and everyone else is late.

‘What I love about Gaga is her story, where she came from’ revealed the 44-year-old, who is now saying ‘I told you so’ by claiming she was the first to tip her for big things.

‘Before she made it, before anyone knew who she was, I knew who she was and, to see her finally make it, I was so happy,’ she insisted, before adding: ‘If we were to work together that would be cool.’ [Metro]

What a wonderful side-eye/bitch please photo spotted at Concrete Loop. Whoever gives the best caption gets a shout-out in the next Fury TV video. I mean look at it — it’s just asking for you to insert shade.
Do it.

Kizzy Row is still shooting videos and singing her songs — everyone is trying to take advantage of The Beyoncé Break. She recently shot a video for her single, “Rose Colored Glasses”, and although a vomiting dog looks more exciting than these photos from the set, I’m sure it will be a poo poo platter for our eyes.

We need to support Kelly. I don’t wanna see her stuck in the Wig Crypt again sewing shoulder pads into those blasted House of Diarrhea Dereon outfits. She deserves better.

New Kid Fury videos, children! I’m sure most of you watched this last night, but in case you missed my alcohol-influenced fuckery tale, I’m leaving this here for you to get your life. Share my world!

I have lots of things in the works, but please feel free to leave comments on what you think I should be talking about on Madame Youtube.

I’m sorry, did you think that saucy Creole goddess was going to be gone for long? Royal Golden Brown Giselle The Great is coming for your wig again in these new House of Dereon photos. I’m willing to bet a gallon of Sunny D that your soul is currently swirling around like a fat ass pot of seafood gumbo. Don’t be ashamed of your delight!

More flicks at ThatGrapeJuice.

Remember Claire from My Wife & Kids — well she’s not a kid anymore. Apparently she’s a vampire bat.

According to legal papers filed last week in L.A. County Superior Court, Watson claims things got bad on August 1st … when Jennifer received a suspicious text message at 11PM and Earl decided to check her phone.

Watson — who played with the Indiana Pacers last season — claims his wife was furious that he took the phone and reacted by hitting him “forcefully twice in the face with her right open hand.”

Watson claims Jennifer then “grabbed my right wrist and bit … breaking the skin, leaving teeth marks and drawing blood.” Once she let go of the wrist, Watson claims she then chomped down on his chest … again drawing blood.

Earl claims Jennifer then tried to attack him with an iron — but he was able to knock it out of her hand. [TMZ]

Big Earl has since reconciled with his crazy ass wife and decided to withdraw the divorce petition.

First of all, what is going on with this biting shit in fights these days? Sooner or later someone is gonna blame True Blood, and if the feds take my show off the air, someone is getting that ass kicked for real!

Now, I don’t want people to ignore this situation just because it was a woman attacking her man, because if he would have body-slammed her ass and yelled “YOU GOT SERVED”, everybody would be pissed.

Today’s lesson: Don’t go through people’s phones.

I’m not sure how I feel about these photos. Kim Kaddyshack and Justin Bieber are all up and through Elle Magazine frolicking around together. I guess it’s cute, but Justin does not need that woman corrupting his life. It was probably Reggie Bush chucking bottles of Aquafina at The Bieber’s fancy little skull. These girls better behave.

These photos were snatched from the wonderful world of KiddUNot.com!

(be fair…be fair…be fair…)

Well with the help of the blessing that is Photoshop, Kimberly looks very pretty. I wish they hadn’t sewn in all that hair, though. She’s looking like a mix between Snooki and Fran Drescher, but maybe that’s the look she was going for. Anyway, the ad is cute and this is a much better way to try and remain relevant.

If you have not gotten into this bleach blonde enchantment by now, I urge you to begin here. In case you’re new around these parts, Kid Fury is a vicious warrior of the Erykah Badu battalion. She can do no wrong! If you’re mad, feel free to stay that way. This woman’s pursed lips are the reason for the season. Deal with it.

More pics at Concrete Loop!

You see the outfit, bitch!

I think I’ve been having Creole withdrawals lately — my sleep is filled with beautiful nightmares and I keep having the sudden urge to spin my invisible lacefront and load my fridge with red beans and rice. These photos will have to temporarily quench my thirst! Grand High Honeysuckle Queen Giselle is unleash Sasha Fierce again for a new Dereon ad. The false tattoos are not included in the new collection, but you will lick them in praise either way.

Feast your fucking eyes, now! Right now!

At a recent radio concert performance, Justin Bieber made his face beat up a flying water bottle. The tiny transgendered pop star shook it off like the champ she is, but damn if it did not look painful. Ciara, Christina Aguilera, and Trey Songz are currently being questioned in this investigation as stans search for the attacker!