THE FURY

THE FURY http://sofurious.com STOCKING UP ON GLITTER FOR BUTT NAKED WEDNESDAYS! Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:15:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 en Rihanna - Rude Boy http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/rihanna-rude-boy/ http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/rihanna-rude-boy/#comments Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:19:52 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/rihanna-rude-boy/

When I’m having a really rough time and can’t get my chin up, I think to myself…”I could really use a new Rihanna video today!”, and that’s just what I get.

The new flick for “Rude Boy”, Rihanna’s 3rd Rated R single, just hit the net. The song is basically about big penises, their ability to gain erections, and rough intercourse — just in case you were wondering. The video is more like a mix of clips from M.I.A., Major Lazer, Solange, and a hint of Kitty Kat.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/rihanna-rude-boy/feed/ The Shade Game! http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/the-shade-game/ http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/the-shade-game/#comments Thu, 11 Feb 2010 06:29:15 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/the-shade-game/

As I poke my head out the door, I’m hoping someone does not bust a shot off into my skull for keeping you all waiting. I’m still hustling and I apologize for the lack of updates, but times are harder than working Sector 7 of the Wig Crypt when Tina cuts the AC off.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop off my two nickels on this subject while it’s still fresh in my mind. Keri Hilson (or Squidward as my nephew calls her) is being bum-rushed by The Creole Battalion once again for some possibly shady comments. Check this Twitter message from her page last night.

“Let me make this clear…I can’t be friends with anyone who wears a bump-it. I just can’t.”

Yep, that’s all.

Now we all remember that big ass wasp nest that Beyoncé wore in the Single Ladies video and numerous performances. So people assumed “Miss Keri Baby” was trying to put Princess Giselle on blast and blew her page up.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2010/02/11/the-shade-game/feed/ The Fury Salutes General L. Platty http://sofurious.com/2010/01/14/the-fury-salutes-general-l-platty/ http://sofurious.com/2010/01/14/the-fury-salutes-general-l-platty/#comments Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:14:45 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2010/01/14/the-fury-salutes-general-l-platty/

My brothers and sisters, between this treacherous new job of mine, the heartbreaking events in Haiti, and the passing of Teddy Pendergrass, there was not much for me to smile about yesterday…until MC General L. Platty dropped the hottest new single to rock the nursing home — Pants on the Ground! He is delivering gallons of hot fuckery and baskets of joy right on time!

Hey, don’t let the D-Boy outfit and the Jersey Shore dance moves fool you! There is a message in this hit record: You’re looking like a fool with your pants on the ground! What is taking so long for Lil’ Wayne to sign this man to Young Money? Drake could never!

I only pray that Andre 3000 jumps on a remix!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2010/01/14/the-fury-salutes-general-l-platty/feed/ Keep It Real In 2010! http://sofurious.com/2010/01/01/keep-it-real-in-2010/ http://sofurious.com/2010/01/01/keep-it-real-in-2010/#comments Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:31:15 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2010/01/01/keep-it-real-in-2010/

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2010/01/01/keep-it-real-in-2010/feed/ Note From Management! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/30/note-from-management/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/30/note-from-management/#comments Wed, 30 Dec 2009 21:40:11 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/30/note-from-management/

Family, I come to you bringing troubling news regarding the site. You might have noticed that I haven’t been updating very much these past few days. See, I have found a new way to hustle through this recession and it requires a hefty portion of my schedule, therefore stuffing this site with loads of fat-free fuckery has become quite difficult.

Do not fret, because I DO NOT plan on shutting The Fury down at all. I will still make sure to update the blog, along with The Fury TV and my Twitter account, however I want you all to know that the updates will not be as frequent, they may come at random times in random ways, and somedays I will not be able to update at all.

This glitch in the system will be TEMPORARY, so please BARE WITH ME. This is necessary to bring a major change to the site, so I can have a bigger and better product for you guys. I’m always going to promote Geisha, praise the Creole dynasty, make Chris Brown knuckle jokes, and show ya’ll love. So, don’t pour out your Peach Chek sodas for me just yet. Stick around and make yourself a plate in the back.

Thanks!

– Kid Fury

P.S. I am not selling bussy…times ain’t that damn hard.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/30/note-from-management/feed/ Chris Brown Dodges Ladies Now! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/chris-brown-dodges-ladies-now/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/chris-brown-dodges-ladies-now/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 19:58:40 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/chris-brown-dodges-ladies-now/

Well, it’s very clear that the younger girls still love our little Iron Fist Prince, but he’s making sure to stay out of the line of fire these days. Scroll on down to the 3:47 mark in this video of a recent Yellow Cake concert, and notice the little tot who raced onstage trying to make her face beat up those hands. Mechanical Dummy used a little of that Tekken speed with a side-order of Madden agility and flew clean out the way! That’s the stuff!

It could of ended up sounding like this.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/chris-brown-dodges-ladies-now/feed/ The Boondocks Returns In 2010! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/the-boondocks-returns-in-2010/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/the-boondocks-returns-in-2010/#comments Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:31:24 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/the-boondocks-returns-in-2010/

The infamously offensive and hilarious Adult Swim cartoon will be returning to your TV screens next year with plenty of “niggas” to go around.

Following a roughly three-year hiatus, the popular animated series The Boondocks will be returning to TV in the New Year, says creator Aaron McGruder.

The third season should air in early 2010, according to this message posted to the writer’s Twitter account (@aaronmcgruder) early Christmas Day: “Finally got an airdate for Season 3. Not sure if I’m allowed to put it out yet, so I’ll just say you got about three months! Merry Xmas!!”

The popular yet controversial comic strip-turned-cartoon premiered in 2005 on Cartoon Network and centers on the antics of brothers Huey and Riley (both voiced by actress Regina King). The second season aired in 2007.

[source]

I’m sure there will be tons of dead Michael Jackson jokes, cracks on Obama, and maybe a hint of Tiger Woods shade. I’m strapping on my seat belt now!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/28/the-boondocks-returns-in-2010/feed/ Kid Fury’s Christmas Carols http://sofurious.com/2009/12/25/kid-furys-christmas-carols/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/25/kid-furys-christmas-carols/#comments Fri, 25 Dec 2009 06:22:24 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/25/kid-furys-christmas-carols/

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/25/kid-furys-christmas-carols/feed/ Steph Jones - Little Drummer Boy http://sofurious.com/2009/12/24/steph-jones-little-drummer-boy/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/24/steph-jones-little-drummer-boy/#comments Thu, 24 Dec 2009 18:44:56 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/24/steph-jones-little-drummer-boy/

Just in time for the holiday festivities, here is the new Steph Jones video for his remake of the popular Christmas song, “Little Drummer Boy”. Ya’ll already know that this man’s name is stamped on my stan card, so this post was inevitable. The video features cameos from Jordin Sparks, B. Scott, and Steph’s pectoral muscles.

This is what Mr. Jones had to say on why he chose to recreate this tune.

I didn’t make this song just for Christmas. It’s a song that I remade to show that when its your true calling you are to be the best you can in order to inspire others…which will bring people together. When me, Jordin Sparks and B. Scott were marching with those drums I imagined us being on the frontline in a war and it was my way of saying that it doesn’t matter if you are man, women, gay or straight… We should all be able to come together and fight for a certain cause no matter who you are.. And once we truly figure that out then that’s when we grow as a people.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/24/steph-jones-little-drummer-boy/feed/ Season’s Foolishness! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/23/seasons-fuckery/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/23/seasons-fuckery/#comments Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:27:49 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/23/seasons-fuckery/

My people, how much longer are you going to keep this up? If I see another baby with a fresh lacefront or some buy-one-get-a-pack-free weave in there head, I’m gonna email Obama. These children should look like children — dressed in OshKosh and shit…not fancied up like they’re going to the club where ladies drink free all night!

Shout out to Tamikha for bringing this tragedy to light.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/23/seasons-fuckery/feed/ This Week’s Tragic Negroes http://sofurious.com/2009/12/21/this-weeks-tragic-negroes/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/21/this-weeks-tragic-negroes/#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:28:27 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/21/this-weeks-tragic-negroes/

Rate, Comment, & Subscribe!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/21/this-weeks-tragic-negroes/feed/ Get Your Shit, And Get Out! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/18/get-your-shit-and-get-out/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/18/get-your-shit-and-get-out/#comments Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:04:08 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/18/get-your-shit-and-get-out/

If you are trying to escape from The Wig Crypt, the time is now. Seems like The Creole Dynasty is distracted!

Tina Knowles filed divorce papers in Harris County, Texas last month, in an attempt to end their almost 31-year marriage. In the documents, it says Tina and Matthew “ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009″ — the exact day of their 30th wedding anniversary.

Back in October, Mathew was hit with a paternity lawsuit from a woman who’s not his wife — no word if that affected Tina’s decision to pull the plug. [Bitch, what do you think? — Kid Fury]

Mathew has been Beyonce’s manager for years, so there could be a ton of cash up for grabs in the split.

[source]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/18/get-your-shit-and-get-out/feed/ Furious Links! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/furious-links-6/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/furious-links-6/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:58:57 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/furious-links-6/

– Walk in the spirit, then shake the devil off, shake-shake the devil off! [The Cynical Ones]

– Rosa Acosta lets it all hang out on the cover of KING’s relaunch issue! [TheFoxxFiles]

– Mariah needs to be “obsessed” with a vocal coach and/or a cup of tea. [Tha Feedback]

– Bookmark my friend in fuckery and her blog where you can actually read! [Latarian’s AuPair]

– Lil’ Creole Pimp snatches the wig off Kimora and her family portrait. [Creole Pimp Chronicles]

– If you are not familiar with Jared Shuler, slap yourself and get educated! [His Daily Variety]

– Some people do not deserve their Facebook privileges! [Elegant Ignance]

– Some chick named Snooki of Jersey Shore gets fired for wanting to be famous! [Loose Neck]

– J Danielle is “Ready for Butt” and I smell a hit! Susan Boyle, girl move! [(not)Happy About This]

– A drunk cross-dressing 4-year old gets his life in the streets and steals Christmas gifts! Chile, YES! [Hell And Heartaches]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/furious-links-6/feed/ Badu Speaks! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/badu-speaks/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/badu-speaks/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:00:42 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/badu-speaks/

Press play and live.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/badu-speaks/feed/ Pass This Girl A Wet Nap! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/pass-this-girl-a-wet-nap/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/pass-this-girl-a-wet-nap/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:21:14 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/pass-this-girl-a-wet-nap/

Michelle Rodriguez showed up to the LA premiere of James Cameron’s Avatar, in which she stars, trying her very best to look well put together. Sorry, but every time I see this girl she looks like she’s in desperate need of a bath, a crack rock, and a nicotine patch. Maybe it’s just me! Um…the dress is nice.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/17/pass-this-girl-a-wet-nap/feed/ Coming Soon To Bootlegger Folders Near You! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/16/coming-to-bootlegger-folders-soon/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/16/coming-to-bootlegger-folders-soon/#comments Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:52:25 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/16/coming-to-bootlegger-folders-soon/

Well family, here is the new poster for that Ciara film that was supposed to be released back when Jesus was doing the Ricky Bobby on water! Looks like Stevie Wonder and a newborn kitten made this magic happen in Photoshop. Anyway, I hear that the movie should be released in February, but you already know the chances of that happening are slim to bitch please.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/16/coming-to-bootlegger-folders-soon/feed/ Don’t Blame Beyoncé! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/dont-blame-beyonce/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/dont-blame-beyonce/#comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 21:47:43 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/dont-blame-beyonce/

Blame your cousins and the creator of the webcam!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/dont-blame-beyonce/feed/ Robin Thicke’s Release Party http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/robin-thickes-release-party/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/robin-thickes-release-party/#comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:47:32 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/robin-thickes-release-party/

Not only does Nicki Minaj bring fresh air to the funky one-bedroom apartment that is Female Hip-Hop, but she also brings us fuckery! What more do you need? I mean, this post is about Robin Thicke and his Sex Therapy album release party, but what is really grabbing your attention here? Case closed!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/robin-thickes-release-party/feed/ The Future of Music! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/the-future-of-music/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/the-future-of-music/#comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:33:36 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/the-future-of-music/

Ukulele Boy has arrived! Grab your pad and pen and jot down these notes!

He snatches every Creole wig ever!
His vocals have destroyed Ciara and Rihanna!
His facial expressions leave Nicki Minaj in the dust!
The cough at 00:25 is greater than oxygen!
The-Dream, Ne-Yo, and R. Kelly will remain upset for not writing a song as great as this!
India.Arie and her guitar could never!
He needs to be the new host of 106 & Park and perform for Obama!
Matthew Knowles will try to sign him — he will decline!
Where is his Grammy?

That is all.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/the-future-of-music/feed/ Rihanna Takes It Off…Again! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/rihanna-takes-it-offagain/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/rihanna-takes-it-offagain/#comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:43:55 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/rihanna-takes-it-offagain/

The Limited Edition Bratz Doll let her chest cannons free for the latest cover of GQ Magazine. Is it just me or does this girl love being naked? Well she looks great, so if you’ve got it, I guess you should flaunt it. Maybe I’ll change my header to a photo of me doing a split in some Calvin Klein drawers, while eating a bag of FunYuns in a sexual manner. That oughta increase the traffic!

Photos spotted at RihannaDaily.com!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/rihanna-takes-it-offagain/feed/ Stomping Letterman Pavement! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/stomping-letterman-pavement/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/stomping-letterman-pavement/#comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:02:03 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/stomping-letterman-pavement/

The beautiful Zoe Saldaña strutted her heels in NYC yesterday during her visit with The Original Adulterer, David Letterman. She was, without a doubt, promoting her highly-anticipated new movie, Avatar, which hits theaters tomorrow. What a pretty gal!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/15/stomping-letterman-pavement/feed/ Jonté - Ya Who? http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/jonte-ya-who/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/jonte-ya-who/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:47:30 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/jonte-ya-who/

It’s been a while since I’ve sprinkled some gypsy queen pixie dust on your monitors — maybe Bow Wow and Day26 are lost somewhere. So here to save the day is the fabulous Jonté! If you haven’t heard of him by now, make Google your friend and educate yourself. Just know that he is Creole approved and has come to brighten your day with cunty dance moves and neon colors. Get in!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/jonte-ya-who/feed/ Nene & Kim Getting The Boot? http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/nene-kim-getting-the-boot/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/nene-kim-getting-the-boot/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:20:39 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/nene-kim-getting-the-boot/

Word around the complex is that ATL Housewives and beef buddies, Nene and Kim, might be getting the boot after they demanded larger paychecks from Bravo! Oop!

Forget about being “Tardy for the Party”! It seems Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes may not even be invited to the party! A report claims Bravo producers are looking to replace the feuding stars in the third season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

“Things with NeNe and Kim have been intense,” a source told the The New York Daily News, “but Bravo feels the show is about the franchise as a whole and won’t let one person stop it.”

The two frenemies are reportedly demanding bigger paychecks from Bravo for the upcoming season and the show’s producers are “so fed up with their diva-esque requests” that they’re “taking meetings with some notable and wealthy Atlanta women” about joining the show in Kim and NeNe’s place.

[ source ]

Casting for season 3 has not been finalized yet, but I don’t see why Bravo would axe their biggest stars. I mean, who else is going to give us plastic wigs and hoodrat quotes to laugh at? Coffee breaks will never be the same without these two! Anyway, I have a question for you!

Which ATL women would you replace them with?

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/14/nene-kim-getting-the-boot/feed/ Hoodrat Track of the Day http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/hoodrat-track-of-the-day-20/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/hoodrat-track-of-the-day-20/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:41:09 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/hoodrat-track-of-the-day-20/

Where all my hoodrats?!

It’s been a while since our last dose of hoodrat tunes, but that super-gutter, Black & Mild music is back! I have actually been meaning to post this record for a while — Black Shades by Brisco, featuring Jacki-O, Billy Blue, and BallGreezy (YES, I said Ballgreezy!). This is for all you fools who wear shades at night to hide your drugged up eyes from the nightlife. Who’s got the Solo cups?

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/hoodrat-track-of-the-day-20/feed/ Badu is BACK! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/badu-is-back/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/badu-is-back/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:36:09 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/badu-is-back/

Get glad, bitches!

The ambiance at Manhattan’s legendary Chung King Studios Wednesday night (Dec. 9) was vintage Erykah Badu: black floor pillows, scented candles, dark lighting that induced a trippy, laidback mood. It was an intriguing setting for the 38-year-old Dallas, Texas native who was in a light-hearted and at times candid mood during a listening session for her upcoming release New Amerykah, Part II (Return of the Ankh), due out Feb. 23, 2010.

“I feel how I felt when I released Baduizm,” said the always-eccentric performer, wearing a Flashdance-era gray sweatshirt, yellow jogging pants, blue leggings and silver slippers. Over a mix of live piano, jazz guitars, dusty soul samples, driving acoustic bass, live drums, and J-Dilla-esque hip-hop sound-clashes, Badu delivers an album that offers the emotional highs, lows and maddening complexities of being involved in a romantic relationship. The project, which features contributions from The Roots drummer ?uestlove, producers Madlib and Sa-Ra, keyboardist James Poyser, 9th Wonder and late influential hip hop producer J Dilla, may be as musically accessible as Erykah Badu can get.

“This is my therapy,’ she continues of the album’s more personal tone. “New Amerykah Pt. 1 [had a more] digital feel. This time I wanted to have more live instruments. I like how my voice sounds when I’m singing with a piano. I’m glad I don’t have to use Auto-Tune. My voice is my gift.” Badu then muses, “But if I had to use [Auto-Tune], I would.” [source]

Please fall into the Auto-Tune shade at the end! Shouts to Erykah-Badu.com for the pic. Highlights of The Queen’s new album are after the jump.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/11/badu-is-back/feed/ Kids Watch Too Much TV… http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/when-your-kids-watch-too-much-tv/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/when-your-kids-watch-too-much-tv/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:18:49 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/kids-watch-too-much-tv/

Children ask too many damn questions.

Wendy Williams has asked plenty of outrageous questions on her hit daytime talk show. But not even she was prepared for the moment her 9-year-old son said to her, “Mom, are your boobs real?”

“I gagged when my son came and asked me about the implants,” Wiliams told PEOPLE. “It was ‘Where did you hear that?’ But it was on my own show.”

“Our son did not know I had breast implants,” Williams says. “So I sat down and went through plastic surgery with him. And it was great, because I was able to let him know that when his dad met me, I was completely natural. The beauty of my story is that ‘Your dad met me as a frog and I have transformed myself, because I wanted to, into a swan.’ ” [ source ]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/when-your-kids-watch-too-much-tv/feed/ Mo’Nique Blanks Out! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/monique-blanks-out/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/monique-blanks-out/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:05:54 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/monique-blanks-out/

Derek Blanks just keeps cranking out these flicks! Now Precious’ mama is getting the star treatment!

I love Mo’Nique so very much and these photos are beautiful, but that damn talk show on EBT is far too many things. The yelling, the soon-to-be-unemployed guests, the senior citizens in the audience — it’s a bit much. Then all that dancing in the intro is ridiculous. I can go to Winn-Dixie, buy a ham, come home, cook that bitch all the way through, and make fresh biscuits from scratch, and everybody will still be dancing on The Mo’Nique show.

I tried to get my life, and I failed. Still Mo’Nique is wonderful and Oscar-bound! Anyway, back to the pretty pictures.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/monique-blanks-out/feed/ Chris Brown Rates Women http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/chris-brown-rates-women/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/chris-brown-rates-women/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:44:34 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/chris-brown-rates-women/

So, Funkmaster Flex had a radio session with Jax Brown, and of course they had the little heavyweight play some stupid game — like radio folk always do. One by one, he gave female celebrities superficial scores, just like boys usually do when it’s raining and they have nothing else to get into.

I would really like to take Beaver Brown and stuff him in an empty Hennessy bottle with Rihanna, and then drop it in Biscayne Bay and watch it float away forever. Maybe the two of them can rekindle their love…or maybe a seagull will eat them. Either way, I win.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/10/chris-brown-rates-women/feed/ My Apologies! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/09/my-apologies/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/09/my-apologies/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:01:36 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/09/my-apologies/

Sorry for the lack of posts! Two words:

Finals Week!

Back tomorrow!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/09/my-apologies/feed/ It’s Like A Box Of Chocolates! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/wal-mart-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/wal-mart-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:05:11 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/wal-mart-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates/

There’s nothing like a good old trip down to Wal-Mart to make your fuckery meter hit code red and burst in delight. Come on, you know you have walked around in that bitch only in hopes of bumping into a tragedy or two. I can always count on finding someone’s mother perusing the frozen food section, wearing a nightie and clutching a Florida Lotto ticket. That’s reason enough for me to head out there on a random weeknight.

Anyway, here are some photos of Wal-Mart shoppers and their variety packs of fun. Don’t forget to bookmark PeopleofWalMart.com for a daily laugh.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/wal-mart-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates/feed/ The Church Is Not Amused… http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/the-church-is-not-amused/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/the-church-is-not-amused/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:18:05 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/the-church-is-not-amused/

When you all figure it out, let me know. I didn’t watch more than 32 seconds. Blame Agent007GC for leaving this on my doorstep.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/the-church-is-not-amused/feed/ BatGaga Begins! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/batgaga-begins/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/batgaga-begins/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:47:17 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/batgaga-begins/

Rah-Rah-Ah-Ah-Ah!

The true Batgirl has made her presence known– deal with it! Lady Gaga spread her wings in London for a performance on X-Factor. I heard Beyoncé is thinking about dressing up as a giant aluminum crawfish during the Grammys, but those are just rumors.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/batgaga-begins/feed/ A Barbie Birthday! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/a-barbie-birthday/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/a-barbie-birthday/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:31:26 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/a-barbie-birthday/

Nicki Minaj and Trina put it down this past weekend for their joint birthday bash at Club Miami in ATL. All the Barbies, Miami divas, Tracphone Holders, and Pound Puppies came out to play. Where were you?

I’m trying to figure out what is going on with those corsets, and Nicki’s cotton candy surprise makeup. Oh, and that wig is up there dancing like Sissy Nobby. There are just so many things taking place — but I will remain a loyal Minaj stan. Your foul comments shall not break me or the dedicated tulip below.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/07/a-barbie-birthday/feed/ Letter To Pleasure Pedo! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/04/letter-to-pleasure-pedo/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/04/letter-to-pleasure-pedo/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:33:25 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/04/letter-to-pleasure-pedo/

Dear Marcus,

I hope this letter reaches you in good spirits. Listen, I know there are some dark clouds looming over your head right now, what with everyone accusing you of being a child molester. That sucks! Now, I will not be the one to speak to loudly on those allegations, because I don’t know the 100% truth behind the story. However, I think it’s only fair to let you know this — we Floridians just can’t fuck with you anymore! I hate to be the one to say it, but who else is gonna keep it real?

Now I know you were the only one out of Pretty Ricky with actual talent and while the other three boys were getting bikini waxes and FCAT tutoring, you were sharpening your craft. That’s all well and good, but we don’t need a scandal like this hovering over our damn state. It’s bad enough that Florida looks like a limp dick and there is constantly footage of our people acting a fool on Worldstarhiphop.com everyday. THIS SHIT AIN’T GONNA FLY!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/04/letter-to-pleasure-pedo/feed/ Cover to Cover! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/cover-to-cover-2/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/cover-to-cover-2/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:40:02 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/cover-to-cover-2/

The Light-skinned Edition!

VIBE Magazine is returning to newsstands (YAY!) and for their new arrival, they slapped Broke-Leg Bloodhound and Beat Her Up Beaver on their cover. You can figure out which one is which. I’m not concerned with either of their spreads unless Drake is talking about his banana peel eyes and why he pouts his lips like that, and/or Chris is giving out cheat codes for Tekken 6. Let’s just celebrate a great magazine coming back to action!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/cover-to-cover-2/feed/ Shouldn’t Have Given You Twitter: The-Dream http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/shouldn%e2%80%99t-have-given-you-twitter-the-dream/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/shouldn%e2%80%99t-have-given-you-twitter-the-dream/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:00:22 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/shouldn%e2%80%99t-have-given-you-twitter-the-dream/

Those flat-foots at The Grammys are throwing 19 degrees of ATL shade at Mrs. Koala Yummy, and she is not having it! Those tight jackets and Urban Outfitters glasses were purchased with hard earned money and now you will all know it!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/03/shouldn%e2%80%99t-have-given-you-twitter-the-dream/feed/ The Hoe Strikes Back! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-hoe-strikes-back/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-hoe-strikes-back/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:18:40 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-hoe-strikes-back/

This is a SoFurious.com exclusive!!!!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-hoe-strikes-back/feed/ The Boyle Is Coming For Your Wig! http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-boyle-is-coming-for-your-wig/ http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-boyle-is-coming-for-your-wig/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:37:01 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-boyle-is-coming-for-your-wig/

No, that is not Nanny McPhee — it is a woman of great power! Underneath that ratty hair lives the brain of a superstar/dream-crusher.

“Britain’s Got Talent” runner-up Susan Boyle is exactly the kind of Christmas present the beleaguered music industry has been looking for. In a season that typically provides a plethora of button-bursting mega-releases, Boyle’s I Dreamed a Dream will smash sales records on the way to a #1 debut on the Billboard 200 chart next week.

According to figures provided by Nielsen SoundScan, Dream moved just shy of 701,000 albums in her first week on the charts, which gives her the 2009 sales crown in the U.S. over the Eminem’s Relapse, which sold 608,000. Boyle also topped the record for the highest debut by a female solo artist in the SoundScan era, Ashanti’s self-titled 2002 debut, which held the previous record at 503,000.

[ source ]

Rihanna and Adam Lambert better apply some extra bonding glue and strap on helmets, because their scalps might be left to freeze in this harsh winter cold. Who’s mad?

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/12/02/the-boyle-is-coming-for-your-wig/feed/ All The Single Ladies! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/25/all-the-single-ladies/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/25/all-the-single-ladies/#comments Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:57:29 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/25/all-the-single-ladies/

Push your breasts up!

Until Da Brat gets home, you lovely gals have Young Melo to munch your carpets. Introduce yourselves! She is here to bring sexy back — and that’s a fact! Honestly, I was a little worried about her respiratory condition when I watched this. Homegirl sounded like she was craving a honey baked ham and a shot of oxygen. Anyway, I’m proud to say I made it through 57 entire seconds of this video and you can thank Domishauntel for sending it in.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/25/all-the-single-ladies/feed/ Video: Wanita - Legalize Me http://sofurious.com/2009/11/24/video-wanita-legalize-me/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/24/video-wanita-legalize-me/#comments Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:58:37 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/24/video-wanita-legalize-me/

I call her Wanita, because “D. Woods” just sounds stupid and that ain’t her damn name. Anyway, the thickest abandoned Bad Boy puppy is preparing the launch of her solo album, The Gray Area, which is expected to drop on December 8th. Above is the video for her lead single, “Legalize Me”.

Survey says: Girl, good day!

This shit looks like every Danity Kane video rolled into one, like a very cold Hot Pocket. The song is cute, but I’m not spending my Black Friday coins on this album at all. I appreciate that Wanita is three-quarter hoodrat, but she better team up with her sister — sign to Young Money and get paid for doing nothing.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/24/video-wanita-legalize-me/feed/ Yo, Taylor! I’m Not Gonna Let You Finish! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/23/yo-taylor-im-not-gonna-let-you-finish/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/23/yo-taylor-im-not-gonna-let-you-finish/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:09:12 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/23/yo-taylor-im-not-gonna-let-you-finish/

Yeah, I know I said I was going to do a long post dedicated to this topic, but I honestly do not have the energy. It’s 5am and I’m about to hit the floor like J. Lo.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/23/yo-taylor-im-not-gonna-let-you-finish/feed/ Please Do Better, Black Folk! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/please-do-better-black-folk/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/please-do-better-black-folk/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:22:57 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/please-do-better-black-folk/

I’m done. I truly don’t have the time or the patience for this. You all have a blessed weekend!

[via Skinny Black Guy]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/please-do-better-black-folk/feed/ Video: Keri Hilson - I Like http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/video-keri-hilson-i-like/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/video-keri-hilson-i-like/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:11:55 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/video-keri-hilson-i-like/

Creoles aren’t the only ones who can make pretty videos with a $5 budget. Sip on that!

Keri Hilson’s video for the European single, “I Like”, dropped today. Don’t expect much — the clip pretty much boasts the singer’s beauty as she grooves to the dance track. You will also catch clips of the new German romance-comedy Zweiohrküken, which features the song on its soundtrack.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/video-keri-hilson-i-like/feed/ The Steph Jones Lifetape Party http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-steph-jones-lifetape-party/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-steph-jones-lifetape-party/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:01:24 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-steph-jones-lifetape-party/

Mr. Ordinary (aka Steph Jones) recently had a very intimate ATL party for his mixtape, Gravity, which I posted about a month ago. Although I wasn’t invited because I’m not a Georgia-based blogger like all the other cool kids, I hear it was a great event and the music, energy, and passion in the room was better than a Trey Songz video. If you haven’t already, download the mixtape and get your entire life!

More pics can be found across the street with the hardworking Freddy O!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-steph-jones-lifetape-party/feed/ Puffy Turns 40! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/puffy-turns-40/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/puffy-turns-40/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:17:40 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/puffy-turns-40/

Of course, it’s party time.

America’s #1 Mouf Breever, Sean Combs, recently had a Motown-themed birthday celebration for his 40th at The Plaza in NYC. There were performances by Al Green, Doug E. Fresh, Trey Songz, and others — wind was blowin’ and people was dancing and shit [© Eddie Levert]!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/puffy-turns-40/feed/ Wig Snatching Defined http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/wig-snatching-defined/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/wig-snatching-defined/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:27:58 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/wig-snatching-defined/

The ladies and gentlequeens down south do not play when it comes to their pageants! After this little latin boy in drag walked away with the title of Miss Gay Brazil, another very angry contestant ripped that hair off and Fed-exed it to Jesus! Nobody likes a sore loser, except when this type of shit happens — thats when I love it! Sheree, are you watching this?

[video courtesy of D-Listed via JoshZilla]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/wig-snatching-defined/feed/ Victoria Secret Fashion Show 2009 http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/victoria-secret-fashion-show-2009/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/victoria-secret-fashion-show-2009/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:47:19 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/victoria-secret-fashion-show-2009/

The time has come again for Victoria Secret to make insecure women feel fat and unattractive and for young boys to take long bathroom breaks. It’s the 2009 Vicky Fashion show! The pounds of feathers and angel wings were out and so was the skin. I would have loved to see Gabourey Sidibe come out strutting her stuff as a special guest, but you know how those fashion sharks are!

The show airs on CBS on December 1st.

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/victoria-secret-fashion-show-2009/feed/ The Oprah Show Ends… http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-oprah-show-ends/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-oprah-show-ends/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:29:32 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-oprah-show-ends/

…in 2011. Chile!

Oprah Winfrey will announce on Friday that her popular daytime talk show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” will end its run in 2011, Tim Bennett, the President of Harpo, announced in a letter released to ABC affiliates on Thursday.

“Tomorrow, Oprah will announce live on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history,” he wrote in the letter, obtained by Access Hollywood. ” The sun will set on the ‘Oprah’ show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011.”

[ source ]

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/20/the-oprah-show-ends/feed/ Beauty & The Beast! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/beauty-the-beast/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/beauty-the-beast/#comments Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:36:11 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/beauty-the-beast/

The lovely and ferociously fierce B. Scott just dropped his latest interview with the thing that goes “BUMP, SCRATCH, KERPLUNK!” in the night — Tameka Raymond! They discussed her new non-profit, rumors ~~of her castrating Usher~~, and Rihanna’s ass-whooping! She claims to be misunderstood and that she’s actually a real gem. Bless her heart!

]]> http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/beauty-the-beast/feed/ Father of MJ’s Molestation Accuser Commits Suicide! http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/father-of-mjs-molestation-accuser-commits-suicide/ http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/father-of-mjs-molestation-accuser-commits-suicide/#comments Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:53:45 +0000 Kid Fury http://sofurious.com/2009/11/18/father-of-mjs-molestation-accuser-commits-suicide/

Evan Chandler, the dentist father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of child molestation in the early ’90s, is dead.

Reports from various sources say that Chandler, 65, committed suicide at his luxury condo in Jersey City, New Jersey. The 800 square foot rental apartment in Liberty Towers was a far cry from Chandler’s pre-Jackson scandal world in Beverly Hills where he was a dentist to the stars and an aspiring screenwriter.

Sources also say that Chandler, whose real last name was Charmatz, had been on the outs with his son, Jordan, since an incident involving the police in 2006. According to public records, Evan Chandler still owed his public defender in that case $95.00.

Jordy Chandler accused Michael Jackson of molestation in 1993. The result was a settlement in which Jackson paid the Chandlers more than $20 million. The case never went to trial, but it forever tarnished Jackson. It did cause a rift between Jordy and his mother, June, from whom he was estranged until recently. [ READ MORE ]

The man will be dealt with in his afterlife — that’s all I have to say about that.

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