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Hoes are just feeling free and sharing stories these days.
You know the rumor that if a girl drinks pineapple juice her shit tastes sweeter?
Yeah I heard about that. Well you know the rumor that if a dude drinks pineapple juice (laughs)… I’m gonna tell you a funny story. I was eating skittles. One night, we went to the movies, me and my home girl, and I was eating skittles and she (gave me head) that night, so two days later she was talking to her home girl and she was reading that if her man eats skittles his cum tastes better. And she was tripping because I had ate skittles and she was like it tastes different. And I was like that’s some bullshit. [source]
Why were T-Pain and his Big Ass Chain present at the CMT Awards? I know he probably used to ride pigs and drink sugar water out of a jar when he was a youngster, but something tells me there might have been a lynching that night.
Check out the clip below. Taylor Swift has made it to the gates of Fuckery Town.
#1: The Word “Swag”
Making threats is not something that kick-starts my engine, but if I hear one more person talk about their “swag”, I’m gonna hit that bitch with a Charles Hammy. Most of the fools running around using that term 70 times a day probably don’t even know what it means. If you don’t believe me, ask someone what “swag” is and see if you get a plausible response. Then, all of the idiotic references in Hip-Hop music make it even worse — “Booty Got Swag”, “Turn My Swag On”, “Kiss My Swag”, “Swag Surfin”…none of those make any fucking sense!
Rightfully so, this horrible ass word made it to number one on the “Why Are You Still Here?” list and I have no complaints about it.
Why did you all vote this word on the list?
Unless you all are going to send in some Hoodrat Tracks for me to get my life on, I will continue to feature all the “Flawduh” records that make the food stamp line jump! I thought we would switch up from the booty-jiggling records today and slap one across for the goons and goonettes. Get into the Dunk Ryders and “Fuck the Other Side”. If you don’t know what side these gentlemen are referring to, ask someone from Liberty City — they can probably tell you.
Please excuse my tardiness everyone. I just got back from lunch with a friend and I feel like I ate a whole Ruben Studdard with a side of Mo’Nique. I’m trying very hard to not fall over from this desk and land in a pool of my own gravy.
Anyway, I’m sure by now you have heard the news of Kelis filing for a divorce from Nas. VIBE has the papers to prove it. There was something mentioned about verbal abuse and people whoreing around…meh, whatever. I just feel bad for that poor unborn Nigger baby that won’t have a chance at a happy family. What is going on with people saying “eat my ass” to marriage these days?
You know the media is going to use any opportunity they can to broadcast Negroes acting tragic over fried chicken and/or watermelon. Apparently, a Popeye’s franchise restaurant in Minnesota flipped a big Louisiana middle-finger to the man and decided not to have the $4.99 special on Earth Day. Big mistake!
If people want clogged arteries in a box, they deserve to get it their way! This recession is real and all this deep fried garbage should be sold at a discounted price.
Nothing screams “Hoodrat” louder than a Gucci Mane record — he is a dog, after all. I’m not the biggest Gucci fan, only due to the fact that I can never understand what the hell he is saying and his voice sounds like he has saliva and Cheeto crumbs tucked in the corners of his mouth…but that’s just me. Shouts to Fresh for putting me on to this trap-tastic record.
If you have a hoodrat track you want posted, hit me on twitter.com/kidfury.
I have no damn clue why Soulja Boy is still around, but he is. It’s bad enough I had to see a cardboard cutout of him next to his new line of shoes in Champs, now the boy is making cartoons of himself. This video is supposedly the theme song for his new Soulja Boy animated series starring Soulja Boy. I bet six months rent that BET picks it up before spring hits.
Oh, and an epic fail goes to Carlton Banks!
According to MTV News, Jim Jones turned himself in to police this morning to discuss the alleged fight between him, Ne-Yo & “Ty-Ty’s brother” at a Louis Vuitton store in Manhattan a few weeks ago. Yet, the details of the incident are still hazy.
Inauguration Day is around the corner, people! This petty nigga behavior needs to cease, and it is just like some niggas to start fighting in the YT folk’s establishment. Now, had they been bustin’ skulls at Foot Locker, nobody would be investigating this shit.
I have so much to say…yet I can’t find the words. Between this and Lady B’s new photoshop atrocity, I may suffer cardiac arrest at any given time. I refuse to give up the ghost just because shameless coons wanna act up! I’m done.
[ fuckery spotted at YKYDAW ]
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