Keep It Real In 2010!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Letter To Pleasure Pedo!
Dear Marcus,
I hope this letter reaches you in good spirits. Listen, I know there are some dark clouds looming over your head right now, what with everyone accusing you of being a child molester. That sucks! Now, I will not be the one to speak to loudly on those allegations, because I don’t know the 100% truth behind the story. However, I think it’s only fair to let you know this — we Floridians just can’t fuck with you anymore! I hate to be the one to say it, but who else is gonna keep it real?
Now I know you were the only one out of Pretty Ricky with actual talent and while the other three boys were getting bikini waxes and FCAT tutoring, you were sharpening your craft. That’s all well and good, but we don’t need a scandal like this hovering over our damn state. It’s bad enough that Florida looks like a limp dick and there is constantly footage of our people acting a fool on Worldstarhiphop.com everyday. THIS SHIT AIN’T GONNA FLY!
Yo, Taylor! I’m Not Gonna Let You Finish!
Yeah, I know I said I was going to do a long post dedicated to this topic, but I honestly do not have the energy. It’s 5am and I’m about to hit the floor like J. Lo.
She’s Mighty-Mighty!
I could kick my blog day off with notes about Rihanna Mae’s drunk ass antics from last night, but I like to keep things spicy on here. So instead we’re going to discuss the brick house that is my girl Beth Ditto. In case you are new to her juiciness, Beth is the vocalist of indie rock band, The Gossip — she is also my sexy friend in the head who makes me grilled cheese!
Don’t ignore her fashion sense! You know you’re about to go on a Google hunt to find that dress and get your hair colored like her! I don’t blame you.
Lady Gaga Covers Flare
I will be going out to all the white neighborhoods this Saturday, just so I can see the people dressed up as Gaga for Halloween. You already know that kids and adults alike will be out on the streets in their looniest Lady outfits. I might take pictures.
How To Avoid Blog Beef!
It’s not very often that I use a post for anything other than belittling the privileged and famous, but since the web is a’rattling with blogger controversy, I thought I’d try to lend a helping hand — Kid Fury’s Top 5 Tips on How To Avoid Blog Beef! For the record, this is no shade to any bloggers. I love all of you and I am simply doing this for the past, present, and future. Now grab a pad and pen.
1. Realize that you are a blogger and NOT Beyoncé, Jay-Z, or Obama!
When bloggers start to tickle their own bussies and think they are celebrities, tragedy is surely soon to follow. Bitch, you post nonsense on the Internet just like the rest of us. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see hardworking bloggers do it big in the industry, but big, wide, strong egos can cause problems. Save that for the Creole brigade.
2. Worry about your own damn domain!
Wanna know how I avoid a lot of blog wars? I stay on sofurious.motherfuckingcom! Sure, I make stops at lots of other blogs, but what they do on their side of the neighborhood is their own damn business. I’m not going to tell you how to run your site and nobody should tell me how to run mine. When I’m on South Beach and I see niggas selling coke out of their trunk, I look the other way and keep walking — it’s none of my business and I don’t wanna get shot. Same here.
