Nov 24 2009
Written by Kid Fury
I call her Wanita, because “D. Woods” just sounds stupid and that ain’t her damn name. Anyway, the thickest abandoned Bad Boy puppy is preparing the launch of her solo album, The Gray Area, which is expected to drop on December 8th. Above is the video for her lead single, “Legalize Me”.
Survey says: Girl, good day!
This shit looks like every Danity Kane video rolled into one, like a very cold Hot Pocket. The song is cute, but I’m not spending my Black Friday coins on this album at all. I appreciate that Wanita is three-quarter hoodrat, but she better team up with her sister — sign to Young Money and get paid for doing nothing.
Nov 16 2009
Written by Kid Fury
One of Frankie’s infamous pups has ripped a page from Mama, I Wanna Sing! and is taking steps towards stardom! Feast your eyes on Elite and her breasts! The days of recurring roles on her older siblings’ reality shows are over! Miss Thing is here to serve you hoodrat pussy couture in her own special way! Deal with it!
Feel free to indulge yourself in Elite’s Ester Dean vocals after the cut.
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Oct 29 2009
Written by Kid Fury
They are literally giving reality shows to any and everybody. Beetlejuice, the Howard Stern radio personality and all-around boogawolf, was bobbing around Times Square yesterday promoting his upcoming show “This is Beetle”. The program will premiere on Howard TV and The Good Lord only knows what they will show. I can hardly look at that twisted mug of his in a photo — to hell with television.
I already have a show featuring a crazy Negroe with no teeth and crackhead antics. It’s called Frankie & Neffe. You’ve been dismissed.
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Aug 31 2009
Written by Kid Fury
Ciara finally quit the music industry to serve frozen beverages and fruit in Los Angeles. Okay, you know I’m lying, but how long could it possibly be before that becomes a reality for her?
Anyway, cousin Ci-Ci visited some spot called Millions of Milkshakes with her BFF, Kim Kardashyknees, for some warm and toasty publicity yesterday. Let’s hope she doesn’t end up doing the crab-walk with coke up her nose in some random club soon. I don’t trust the company she’s keeping these days.
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Aug 28 2009
Written by Kid Fury
Behold the new dance craze that’s setting the clubs ablaze (not really) — The Barbie! JaQuel Knight, the gentlequeen who brought you the “Single Ladies” dance, is here to show the world how to perform this dainty little jig. Don’t be afraid to strap on some pumps, whip out your glitter and glowsticks, and try it!
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Aug 18 2009
Written by Kid Fury
NeNe Leakes is not ashamed that she used to do nude handstands in her younger days.
“Yes, I was a stripper – let the judgments ensue,” the “Real Housewife of Atlanta” announces in the outrageous book. “I’m not ashamed.”
“What difference does it make if I danced or not?” she asks. “Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth?”
“[I stripped] for the sake of my son, and to restore my confidence in myself,” she explains.
“I could make $500 off one guy just by turning him on,” she confides in the Touchstone Books tome. [source]
That’s dreadful. I’m sure it was hard trying to get butt-naked back during the Great Depression.
According to NeNe, her stripper name was Silk. I see her as more of a Red Velvet Cakes. I’m sure you all can do much better than that.
What do you think Nene’s stripper name should be?
May 26 2009
Written by Kid Fury
I’m beginning to think that Florida is the center of the fuckery universe.
In what seems to now be a Youtube phenomenon, Spectacular of Pretty Ricky felt some need to get on a video and do some type of “sexy” dance to promote his group’s new single — three words: gay stripper fail! When I saw that child twirl around in those tight ass panties, I literally almost had heart failure. I guess the rumors are true. Three snaps in “S” formation for Spectacular.
Thanks, Sunshyne84 for ruining my day with this! I hurt for my people.
Mar 25 2009
Written by Kid Fury
Juwanna Mann Ciara seems to finally have come to grips with what we have all been seeing for the past few months: she ain’t hitting on shit. So, she did what anyone would do in a crisis — steal! Looks like the majority of the cuts from Ci-Ci’s new video for that wretched LoveSpellFreakyPotion bullshit were inspired by the Queen of Cajun, Beyoncé. I’m sure the stans are sending her a bloody lacefront as I type this out.
I don’t see what the big deal is, to be honest. Ciara copies Beyoncé; Beyoncé copies everybody and their play cousin; BET copies MTV; Michael Jackson copies Mr. Potato Head…the list goes on. If you motherlovers want originality, you won’t find it in the mainstream music scene. Pop your pussy to some indie artists.
Shouts to that cynical ass Mike!
Mar 11 2009
Written by Kid Fury
J. Holiday got a day off from bathroom duty at Camillus House to sign autographs and perform for his 3 supporting fans. I didn’t even know he had a second album out. So, you know the time has come for him to get out on that corner. Times are too hard. I’m sick of that stocking cap on his head and braces are not free. He better get into Craigslist.
Feb 27 2009
Written by Kid Fury
#1: Aubrey O’Day
Yes, slam dunked at the number one spot is Bad Boy rebel and all around trollop, Aubrey Ho’Day — I never liked this bitch. It’s something about MFs who always have something to say. Anyway, there are certain people who, when exposed to fame and a little limelight, lose their damn minds and act a fool; Aubrey is a prime example. She went from a Danity Kane soldier to partying with coke-head celebs and flashing her juggums in Playboy. Then she went from claiming to love black men to admitting she has a fondness for coochie. The hoe has problems. Next there will be a sex tape and a tell-all book titled, Diddy’s Balls: Sticky & Sweet. I think that deep down this girl wanted to be a solo “star” from the beginning, and honestly Danity Kane is better off. Dawn and Aundrea were the most talented, anyway. So, to Ms. Aubrey I say, bitch be gone!
P.S. D.Woods! Bitch, I don’t like you either.
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