I am so mad at this upcoming XXL cover for so many reasons.

You have Rick Ross’ breasts sitting up there looking lactate. We have DJ Khaled wearing the same Dickie shit he always wears. Trina is sporting a new push-up bra. Flo-Rida is in a wifebeater…once again. Then finally “The Gunshine State” is plastered across the front. Now, I love all these people and that they represent my city, but come the fuck on! Oh, I am so dreading this Memorial Day Weekend (aka Urban Beach Week aka Drunk Coloreds Act A Fool By The Sea Week).

I can’t deal with Robert today.

In a case that has taken six years to reach court, defense attorneys for R. Kelly are once again seeking to delay the trial for the R&B singer who is facing multiple child pornography charges.

As jury selection in Kelly’s case is set to begin this Friday (May 8), according to the Chicago Tribune, legal experts and observes are doubtful that the last minute request will be granted.

The defense team filed a motion on Wednesday asking Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan to shelve the trial temporarily because of “a torrent of publicity surrounding the case.”  [ source ]

You know we are living in our last days when a child pornography trial works on CP time. I’m through with this shit.

A woman will testify at R. Kelly’s upcoming child-pornography trial that she had a three-way sexual encounter with Kelly and the allegedly underage girl shown in the videotape at the center of the case, the Chicago Sun-Times reported on Saturday (May 3). Jury selection for the long-delayed case is scheduled to begin Friday.

In the case, prosecutors claim to have identified the girl in the videotape, who is now in her 20s. Kelly’s lawyers are planning to argue — and the alleged victim will reportedly testify — that she is not the girl in the tape, according to the Sun-Times.

But the new witness could weaken that defense, since she will identify the girl — and claim the girl was underage — sources reportedly told the paper. [ source ]

There are so many things wrong with this story.

I’m glad someone is trying to bring some truth to the light, but I would not be the one to go on record saying that I may have slurped on a 14-year old’s pattywhack with R.Kelly. That is just nasty and I hope this woman has made her peace with The Lord for that.

Hopefully, this twist in events will play a siginificant role in the trial (if that shit ever kicks off). I’m ready for Robert to go to the chokie. 

It is folk like this that give celebrities inspiration to act like supreme jackasses in public. Please treat yourself to a Lil’ Kim stan’s detailed recap on her presence at a nightclub a few weeks ago.

“Kim was the shyt last night! She performed “Lighter’s Up,” “The Jump Off,” an “Magic Stick.” It was crazy the way people were acting when Kim arrived, str8 BANANAS!

Kim saw me and looked mad excited to see me. When she performed she pointed at me and said, “That’s my baby right there! I love him!” I was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! She was talking mad shit! She said she is dropping this SUMMER, that she is going to get her “SHIT TOGETHER” so she can do a BIG show at a colosseum or an arena. She said she dropped everyone who is around her and got a new crew and that it took for her to go to PRISON to find REAL friends and she had girls she was locked up with with her. She said, “a lot of ya’ll are standing to fake mothafucka’s in here!” She said she is going on TOUR with Ray-J called the “Stripclub Tour” [ somebody shoot my ass now! — Kid Fury ] and she did to a song with him and they played it.

Everyone in the audience was saying “FUCK REMY MA” and Kim laughed and brushed it off. SHe said her last boyfriend had a HUGE dick, lmao.” [ want more? ]

You know, I would normaly add a stank and witty little comment here for humor, but this young man has written all the funnies himself. Thank you, sir — for without fuckery enablers like you, we bloggers wouldn’t have much to talk about.

There is a significantly toasty spot in Hell waiting for the bitch that did this to R.Kelly’s head. Kizzy, was it you?

I was making one of my regular runs through Miss Info’s blog and that’s when I ran into this. Let’s not act like we don’t know what this new hairdo symbolizes. Braids resembling that of a 5th grade girl…sprayed golden…golden showers…you do the math, here. I’m through.

Wait, shouldn’t this Negro be in prison by now?!

It’s too early in the week for this shit.

Flavor of Love’s Saaphyri is dead serious about marketing her Lip Chap. While making a trip to My Bust It Baby Mama’s blog today, I was assaulted by this video of Sap (my new nickname for Saaphyri) advertising her “cosmetics” through the use of rap music. I think it is safe to say that Sap is the most successful of the Flavor of Love alum…and she didn’t even have to tickle Flav’s balls.

I see this video as being the new joint on tomorrow’s 106 & Park.

First, let us start with a bit of peace.

So, now that my soul is back at rest, there are rumors circling around that Madame Crack is Wack is carrying another child. She was present at Muhammad Ali’s Celebrity Fight Night this past weekend with quite a perky bosom and what looks like a fresh baby bump.

Now, if you want my opinion, I think her plumbing was just backed up and she needed the pink bottle. They may have been handing out holiday sausage and she grabbed a few too many. I doubt there is a baby in there, because her eggs should be hard-boiled by now? We ought to be paying more attention to that mullet!