I damn near jumped out of my skin when I came across this ad in my issue of this month’s VIBE. Yonnay is looking like someone blasted a full-force fart right in her eyes for this photo. Was it Hov? Did someone drop her Super Sweet Sixteen Dereon cake? What the hell is the mean mug for, lady?

Looks like Trina’s shooting a video for that new record of hers. It’s called “I Got A Thang For You” (ugh!) and features Meowth Keyshia Cole. Sad to say, I’m not feeling Trina like I used to. Oh well.

Keyshia looks like the cookie lady/girls basketball coach at my school for some odd reason. It’s funny because I don’t like that bitch either.

[ pic snatched from Oh Trina ]

As happy as I am for Lil’ Mama, with her album finally being released and all, her team could have done a better job for an album cover. Poor thing looks like an anime child prostitute or something. I wish she would grow up a little. She actually has the talent of MCs nearly twice her age, but she stays stuck in Cabbage Patch Kids clothing.

Not cute.

[ pic snatched from C+D ]

Janet’s new video, “Rock With U”, debuted on BET’s Access Granted last night and here it is. I don’t know what to say about it other than Kelly Rowland’s breast implant news is way more exciting. I like that she is dancing and having fun, but damn that shit was dull. I think she could have chosen a better single than this.

[ clip spotted @ LoveBScott.com ]

Ok, so does Sapphyri know that her targeted consumers are young women, most of whom will probably be straight? This ad may be appealing to a couple male eyes, but I don’t see any of them purchasing a pack of StretchMark Strawberry lip-chap. Horrible marketing, sister.

Try again.

So, I’m making a couple rounds on the celebrity fansites this chilly Miami afternoon and I happened upon this photo of Trina from Black Men Magazine (the one on the right). Then, I thought to myself, “something about this shit ain’t right”.

KaTrina, you know I love you like Rick Ross loves cake, but your tittays have never been that damn supple. No more Photoshop cut-ups, please! I don’t give a damn what the industry says is sexy! If you have a flat chest, embrace it! Squeeze those non-existing jugs and be proud of what you’ve got…or don’t got!

See, this is the type of shit that makes you wanna punch a newborn baby in the face.

Tiffany (New York) Pollard will be back with a third season of her VH1 reality show, this time sharing the bill with her ne’er-do-well boyfriend George (Tailor Made) Weisgerber.

“The season is going to be called ‘New York Loves Hollywood’ and will follow her attempt to become an actress in Los Angeles,” says an insider.

“They are currently trying to cast established industry people in Hollywood to be on the show with her.”

Fingers are crossed for a hot-tub scene with her and Harvey Weinstein. [ source ]

Here’s my question regarding this…WHY? Wasn’t her two minutes of screentime on First Sunday good enough?

I seriously need to know who approved this album cover so I may drop a steaming bag of dog-shit on his/her font porch. It’s clear that Khia has another album on the way (a true thug misses never quits). All that is well and good, because I usually never hear her shit anyway, but nobody needs to be exposed to this kind of torture…dry underarms, I mean really!

What did the drum ever do to you, Khia?

So, what has T.I. been doing with his spare time while he’s on house arrest and all? Well besides working on his new album, Paper Trail, Cliff’s been designing custom tees! Can we say tre’ fabulous? As part of a new campaign for Playboy Magazine’s Rock The Rabbit concert, TIP is one of several artists designing their own signature T-shirts. Um, I won’t rush out to purchase one just yet…or ever actually.

Hit RockTheRabbit.com for more info.

Now, Amy Winehouse will always hold a VIP spot in my heart, but this shit right here makes absolutely no sense. Listen to her trying to sing Lauryn Hill’s “Zion”, with about 20,000 liters of liquor in her system. She sounds like this homeless lady named Funk that’s always singing Christmas carols at the Miami Metrorail Station — with the beehive sitting sideways. WineCooler really needs to get it together and I am labeling everyone else in this video (especially the person filming) as enablers. They’re on a slow fall to hell!

Ugh…all this is missing is a needle and a pipe!