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I call her Wanita, because “D. Woods” just sounds stupid and that ain’t her damn name. Anyway, the thickest abandoned Bad Boy puppy is preparing the launch of her solo album, The Gray Area, which is expected to drop on December 8th. Above is the video for her lead single, “Legalize Me”.
Survey says: Girl, good day!
This shit looks like every Danity Kane video rolled into one, like a very cold Hot Pocket. The song is cute, but I’m not spending my Black Friday coins on this album at all. I appreciate that Wanita is three-quarter hoodrat, but she better team up with her sister — sign to Young Money and get paid for doing nothing.
If this ain’t some self-hate for that ass.
A twitter friend of mine (ibiscaraib) recently asked me for my take on Sammy Sosa and his new Clorox-scented skin. At the time, I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I looked it up. The Major League Baseball star somehow went from a chocolate Latin stud to a clam chowder-colored Gomez Addams (minus the mustache). What a damn shame!
Some folks are claiming that he is receiving some kind of “skin rejuvenation” treatment and the lighting and over-exposure from the cameras only make him seem to appear that bright. That’s funny, because his wife looks the same color to me in both photos. Besides, those green contacts and that aqua-perm clearly gave away his yearning to be whiter. Sammy, you and those forever black lips look a fucking fool!
They are literally giving reality shows to any and everybody. Beetlejuice, the Howard Stern radio personality and all-around boogawolf, was bobbing around Times Square yesterday promoting his upcoming show “This is Beetle”. The program will premiere on Howard TV and The Good Lord only knows what they will show. I can hardly look at that twisted mug of his in a photo — to hell with television.
I already have a show featuring a crazy Negroe with no teeth and crackhead antics. It’s called Frankie & Neffe. You’ve been dismissed.
This is an example of what can happen when you stop feeding Eddie Murphy his daily dose of sugar cubes and barley, and are left with no other source of meaningless publicity — you end up wearing Kim Zoliack wigs to events for shit you’ve never heard of. Doom!
Scary Spice was pushing her Louboutins at the launch of Glaceau Vitamin Water in London yesterday. I’m sure she’s probably working on her own reality show about being a mother and wife of a drag queen, and rolling around in Donkey’s child support coins.
Katrina LaVerne has been spending a lot of Twitter time cavorting with that Soulja Boy and his activated curls these past few weeks. Come to find out the two Southern rappers have been working on a song together called “Like That”. I just got a brief taste of what the track has to offer — now excuse me while I clean this blood off the floor from my poor wrists.
Well Lady Tyler isn’t really behind this one, but the devil might be.
The LA-based dance craze jerkin’, popularized by the New Boyz’s hit record “You’re a Jerk,” is being developed into a film.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Melee Entertainment and independent film producer Shariff Hasan, the producers behind the Mos Def-starred comedy Next Day Air, are in talks with writers to develop the movie.
A release date for the dance-centered film has yet to be announced. [ source ]
My stars and stripes! Is it really that serious?
Well, I suppose Omarion, Kyla Pratt, and the live audience of 106 & Park can go ahead and cash in on this shit. I. SHALL. NOT. USE!
The mega-hyped Street Fighter interview with Larry King Live passed last night, and I am currently seeking reparations from CNN and Mr. Brown for wasting an hour of my damn life — I accept cash and EBT! In case you missed it, the good folks of WorldStarHipHop.com have uploaded the entire session, but I think I can break it down and spare you the precious time.
Chris stated that he’s disappointed in himself and he’s sorry…again. His mother, Joyce Hawkins, shed a few tears for her darling beaver and his attorney blew out a bunch of hot gas! When asked what happened the night of the ass-kicking, Yellow Cake refused to reveal any details!
My response?
Um, does anyone else sense a fly in the Metamucil? This Liberation Next cover is bound to ruin someone’s day. Due to the sketchy resolution of this picture, I can’t really make it out, but I’m certain there is nappy taco meat covering the majority of that chest. Lady Ye need not ever bare his breasts again — we have Amber Rose for all that.
Behold the new dance craze that’s setting the clubs ablaze (not really) — The Barbie! JaQuel Knight, the gentlequeen who brought you the “Single Ladies” dance, is here to show the world how to perform this dainty little jig. Don’t be afraid to strap on some pumps, whip out your glitter and glowsticks, and try it!
So, some child who goes by the name SpokenReasons was blocked on Twitter by Necole Bitchie for God knows what. He, in turn, decided to make this monkey-fool-banana-rum-shrimp-cocktail ass video on Youtube dedicated to her. Clearly, the Internet is giving people far too much freedom.
This is what happens when you have too much leisure time. Idle hands are a tool of the devil and this shit has inspired me to go do something productive. I think I’m going to go build a spaceship or something. Bye.
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