John Legend Album Cover
John Legend’s new album, Evolver, is set to drop on October 28th. The cover is decent, although it did seem very familiar when I first saw it.
God Is Tryna Tell You Something!
So, Pissy King Jr. R.Kelly caught up with BET (60 Minutes probably didn’t give a shit) for a “first and last” interview about his life after the trial. The whole thing felt like someone was passing around slices of bullshit pie. From the words of the wise Laurie Ann Gibson: “Corn juice is corn juice!”. Robert and BET may continue to carry out the devil’s work, but we all know what’s up. There is a reason why so many people think you are guilty, Kels — it’s because you piss on females who still wear Strawberry Shortcake panties. Move on!
Something Ain’t Right Here!
Not too long ago, I posted some photos from the set of Cassie’s video for, “Official Girl”, her new single. One of you readers pointed out that she seemed to be mimicking Aaliyah’s old style. I didn’t see it too much then, but this new photo came across my face like the back of a greasy pimp’s hand. You all can be the judges of this, but I will say that there is definitely a fly in this here Metamucil.
Oh, and since Cassie’s label mate, Aubrey O’Day, pretty much snitched on her relationship with Diddy during Wendy Williams’ talk show, this is not the best time for homegirl to be acting up.
The 2008 Bitch Please Award Goes To…
After nearly a year of hype, endless recording, the inevitable Internet pre-release leak, more missed release dates than Guns N Roses’ Chinese Democracy and expectations that seem impossible to meet, Khia is on track to smash the charts next week when Nasti Muzik debuts. During a time when the beleaguered music industry does cartwheels anytime an album cracks the 300,000-sold barrier in its first week, Khia could end up selling more than a million copies when the dust settles next week, according to several sources.
And, by some accounts, the early leak of the album may have actually helped sales. Estimates from industry analysts put sales at between 1,050,000 and 1,150,000, which would make Nasti Muzik the biggest debut of the year, surpassing the massive numbers put up by the more mainstream Lil’ Wayne earlier this year with Tha Carter III, which moved 1,010,000 in its first week. [ source ]
Now, I have been dodging all the Rick Ross ex-cop drama, because I still think the whole “lying rappers” thing is pretty meaningless. However, this shit here takes the cake — right out of Ross’ beard!
Khia went on her Myspace blog and posted some article from God knows where, claiming that her newest album, Nasti Muzik, sold over 1,000,000 units in the first week. Last time I checked, pigs were not flying and Satan was not serving Sierra Mist in Hell. The article Khia posted was actually copied, pasted, and edited from an MTV News story on Lil’ Wayne. From what I hear, Nielsen Soundscan is reporting that Nasti Muzik only sold 1,435 copies in one week — making it one of the biggest flops in music history.
Khia, while I love to laugh at your niggerisms and utter ignorance, I’m going to have to ask you to sit down…and don’t you ever get your black ass up again.
Get That Slap Hand Ready!
I think Ice-T is asking you all to fall into the deliciousness of his candy pink swag! Of course, the pussy monster CoCo is right behind him, ready to be slapped and love it. Now if that ain’t real Hip-Hop, I’d like to know what is. Soulja Boy, where are your bubble gum slacks at?
Kanye Doesn’t Care About Real Bloggers!
Everybody get ready to gag on this shit here! So, the ever impressive blogger, Marcus Troy, did a post the other day on a term he has coined called, “ghost blogging” — think “ghost writing”, but with blogs. In said post, he basically made an assumption that celebs such as Pharrell and Kanye West might be using “ghost bloggers” to keep their shit updated, since they are quite the busy people. It was a great read.
Now, another well known (and always controversial) blogger made a huge and unnecessary assumption lie, stating that Marcus Troy was taking credit as Kanye’s “ghost blogger”. This, in turn, led Kanye to drop a brand new in-your-fucking-face post, laced with edited pictures of Troy and photos of him updating his blog (which look like they were all snapped in a 3-minute time frame).
I’m cracking the hell up and you ought to be too. If this ain’t a fat ass case of Internet he-said-she-said…in the heavenly name. Kanye, it’s just a blog, my brother, You don’t have anything to prove.
Who’s Mad?
It’s been a while since I’ve posted something on Khia’s angry ass! So, I’ve decided to hit you with a new quote. Feed your fetish please!
Nowwwwwwww…… Jermaine Dupri…… I hear you was on Hot 97 in New York… Talking bout how I was ungrateful…………. And Miss Jones was FIRED right after dat!!!!!! If I’m ungrateful about anything its about the fact of how I SAVED the day for JANET….. And I couldn’t even be in the VIDEO…..But dats old news so why are we even still talking about it????? Janet’s album Flopped and DATS dat!!!!! I’m sorry……. Janet…..I hear you been going thru the CHANGE…. So maybe dats why you were MOODY and didn’t want me in the VIDEO dat day!!!! I guess 40 is not the new 20????
If I am disappointed about anything……… Its because you DIDN’T sign me, after I had already proven to you that I can sell records!!!! Is it because I am not little like BOW WOW??? Is it because I don’t wear my pants backwards with my boxers showing like Kriss-Kross??????….. You are Michael Jackson’s little sister’s boyfriend!!!!!! Is Chris Stokes your cousin??? Now dats the REAL disappointment!!!!! Are you gonna join Janet at the Jungle dis weekend, the hot GAY bar in Atlanta?? If so, I will see you then!!!! SOUND OFF……. And Noooooooo…… I don’t wanna buy no DAMN BOY SCOUT COOKIES!!!! [ *DIES* — Kid Fury] It’s something funny bout GROWN men running around with little boys in uniforms….. Tell Janet to lay off the HUSTLER and COCO DORM SEX Tapes!!!!! Another man is beating YOUR TIME!!! Give it to em raw and RINSE dat strap off………Now run and tell dat!!!!!! Nasti Muzik 08!!!!! [ source ]
Please, do not adjust your monitors. You are not experiencing a malfunction. That is true fuckery in its essence. Eat up!
Does anybody ever know what this woman is talking about? It’s like holding a conversation with the family drunk at the reunion you don’t want to attend. You have to love those “All Caps” letters for emphasis, though. I bet Khia types with one finger!
You Owe Someone A Thank You Card!
Never let it be said that Viacom does not and/or cannot resurrect a person’s career! A.C. Slater Mario Lopez was hamming it up in NYC while celebrating his new spread in People Magazine, where he can be found showing off Ali Landry’s leftovers. Somebody better be paying their tithe and offering on Sunday. Next thing you know JC Chazez will be showing his ass in Playgirl. Do your hoe shit ya’ll!
The Bullshit Call of the Decade!
I was not planning on doing anything today, except run my errands and continue playing Metal Gear Solid 4, but when I heard this shit, I rushed home to go the fuck off!
According to reports, that damned R.Kelly has been found NOT GUILTY on all charges against him! I think I speak for all humans with two eyes and common sense when I say: what the fuck?!
How is this possible? We all saw that tape! Some people still own that motherfucker! Robert’s face was clear as day and the viewer could hear him speaking — what more do you need? A Trapped in the Closet tattoo on his nutsack?!
If R.Kelly gets to walk, then Michael Vick needs to walk, Remy Ma needs to walk, and every other celebrity who has committed a crime without visual evidence. Hell, let us all go out and find a 13-year old to rape and piss on. R.Kelly can, so why can’t I?
I don’t usually hold actual animosity towards celebrities, but this is the type of shit that really boils my damn Ovaltine. Ugh!
What Are You Saying?
Some British fans stopped Amy Winecooler in her Baby Gap swimming trunks and begged for an autograph in London today. I would like to know why, out of all things, they asked her to sign their copy of Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat for the Nintendo Gamecube (I know video games, baby). Is there an underlying message going on here or are these folks calling Amy a monkey/monkey lover? These types of things make my brain get to pulsating.
