This is, without a doubt, one of the greatest things that has ever happened in the history of happenings. The folks over at Power 105 managed to get DMX to perform his own Ruff Ryder rendition of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” and I am forever grateful. Please get your life.

Source: MTV

This gives me bits of the life I had hoped I would receive from a Sheneneh & Wanda movie. I’m sure your cousins are somewhere in the footage. Fish them out below.

Meet Sweet Brown! Her Oklahoma City apartment complex went up in flames this past weekend while she tried to enjoy a cool beverage and probably a little Judge Mathis. Apparently the fire, which damaged five units, started in a woman’s home who is bound to a wheelchair.

Well Sweet Brown didn’t have time for that! She’s got bronchitis! Of course, newscasters zipped straight to the woman with a scarf on her head and depressed teeth, but what they didn’t know was that she is a God-fearing woman with common sense. Get into her story!

In the battle for America’s Top Hip-Hop Mama Femcee, I vote for Mama Jones, but you can watch the “Frankie Leg” video below. Sweet Jesus, please return my text message.

Cops arrived at the couple’s home in South Western and Arturo was said to be covered in frosting, according to a police report. The wife, Dawn, admitted to the delicious assault and was taken to jail where her bail was set at $10,000!

The gag is: Dawn’s husband has been arrested three times since 2003 for domestic violence and battery charges, which were all dropped.

What kind of madness is that? I would love for someone to chuck cupcakes at me in an argument. I’d initiate so many fights for those types of consequences. Arturo is a lame.

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I’m going to take a walk down Flatbush Avenue, contemplate my status in the world, and possibly jump in front of an MTA vehicle. If you don’t hear from me by this time tomorrow, I probably offed myself. You can blame this girl, our sister in Christ.

I can’t tell you how many people sent me this video yesterday and I’m really hurt by that — I thought y’all loved me. Assuming that you folk wanted me to share this with the rest of the blessed people who have yet to witness it, here goes some bizarre rendition to Urkel’s jig. Praise the mighty name of Jesus!

Fuckery experienced at Necole Bitchie!

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New Kid Fury videos, children! I’m sure most of you watched this last night, but in case you missed my alcohol-influenced fuckery tale, I’m leaving this here for you to get your life. Share my world!

I have lots of things in the works, but please feel free to leave comments on what you think I should be talking about on Madame Youtube.

These elder female MCs are going through it. iCant!

Last night our big sis in Christ, Foxy Brown, hit the stage at B.B. King’s Bar & Grill in NYC looking like a used condom stuck under Rick Ross’ mattress. Her hair is ratchet, her thighs are rubbing like alcohol, her breasts are overflowing from that outfit, the woman behind her is over it…there was clearly a lot going on.

I still love this woman. At least she made certain that her panties and her fingernail polish matched. We have to give credit where it is due, don’t we?

My girl Karen Civil has all the tea from last night’s show.

My brothers and sisters, between this treacherous new job of mine, the heartbreaking events in Haiti, and the passing of Teddy Pendergrass, there was not much for me to smile about yesterday…until MC General L. Platty dropped the hottest new single to rock the nursing home — Pants on the Ground! He is delivering gallons of hot fuckery and baskets of joy right on time!

Hey, don’t let the D-Boy outfit and the Jersey Shore dance moves fool you! There is a message in this hit record: You’re looking like a fool with your pants on the ground! What is taking so long for Lil’ Wayne to sign this man to Young Money? Drake could never!

I only pray that Andre 3000 jumps on a remix!

There’s nothing like a good old trip down to Wal-Mart to make your fuckery meter hit code red and burst in delight. Come on, you know you have walked around in that bitch only in hopes of bumping into a tragedy or two. I can always count on finding someone’s mother perusing the frozen food section, wearing a nightie and clutching a Florida Lotto ticket. That’s reason enough for me to head out there on a random weeknight.

Anyway, here are some photos of Wal-Mart shoppers and their variety packs of fun. Don’t forget to bookmark PeopleofWalMart.com for a daily laugh.

When you all figure it out, let me know. I didn’t watch more than 32 seconds. Blame Agent007GC for leaving this on my doorstep.

Push your breasts up!

Until Da Brat gets home, you lovely gals have Young Melo to munch your carpets. Introduce yourselves! She is here to bring sexy back — and that’s a fact! Honestly, I was a little worried about her respiratory condition when I watched this. Homegirl sounded like she was craving a honey baked ham and a shot of oxygen. Anyway, I’m proud to say I made it through 57 entire seconds of this video and you can thank Domishauntel for sending it in.