My brothers and sisters, between this treacherous new job of mine, the heartbreaking events in Haiti, and the passing of Teddy Pendergrass, there was not much for me to smile about yesterday…until MC General L. Platty dropped the hottest new single to rock the nursing home — Pants on the Ground! He is delivering gallons of hot fuckery and baskets of joy right on time!

Hey, don’t let the D-Boy outfit and the Jersey Shore dance moves fool you! There is a message in this hit record: You’re looking like a fool with your pants on the ground! What is taking so long for Lil’ Wayne to sign this man to Young Money? Drake could never!

I only pray that Andre 3000 jumps on a remix!

There’s nothing like a good old trip down to Wal-Mart to make your fuckery meter hit code red and burst in delight. Come on, you know you have walked around in that bitch only in hopes of bumping into a tragedy or two. I can always count on finding someone’s mother perusing the frozen food section, wearing a nightie and clutching a Florida Lotto ticket. That’s reason enough for me to head out there on a random weeknight.

Anyway, here are some photos of Wal-Mart shoppers and their variety packs of fun. Don’t forget to bookmark PeopleofWalMart.com for a daily laugh.

When you all figure it out, let me know. I didn’t watch more than 32 seconds. Blame Agent007GC for leaving this on my doorstep.

Push your breasts up!

Until Da Brat gets home, you lovely gals have Young Melo to munch your carpets. Introduce yourselves! She is here to bring sexy back — and that’s a fact! Honestly, I was a little worried about her respiratory condition when I watched this. Homegirl sounded like she was craving a honey baked ham and a shot of oxygen. Anyway, I’m proud to say I made it through 57 entire seconds of this video and you can thank Domishauntel for sending it in.