While you all were throwing shade, Kizzy Row has been making a positive impact on our youth! The singer held a charity event in her hometown of Houston, TX along with her ex-bandmate, Letoya Luckett and Lala Vazquez. The gathering was part of her nonprofit, I Heart My Girlfriends — a young girl’s foundation focusing on self-esteem, dating violence prevention, abstinence, drug/alcohol prevention, and other topics.

Now don’t you feel bad for talking bad about Kelly’s wigs and things? Okay, I do most of the trash talking, but I still love her. More photos over at KiddUNot.com!

Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I actually listen to the records people send me. Well somehow this track made its way into my inbox last night and I was feeling perky, so I gave it my ear. Surprisingly, the song put an arch in my back and a shimmy in my shoulders within the first few seconds. I’m very picky when it comes to music, especially from artists I’ve never heard of, but this young woman stole my heart.

Her name is Kirby Maurier and the track is called “You”.  Let’s ignore the fact that she slightly resembles Keri Hilson in that picture. Kirby is a Miami native (go figure) with a beautiful gift and damn it, I like her. So, I want you all to check out her song “You” below which is available on iTunes, and let me know what you think.

Here’s a clip of Kirby singing “Halo” by Her Creole Magnificence.

Fanny Mae is still hot on the promo trail — she’s shed tears on Good Morning America, Behind The Music, and she’s still ripping up the mic. Although I’m still aggravated that she tried to kill herself, I’m very happy to see that she is pulling through and working hard. Dora the Explorer would be so proud of her mentee.

Click the flicks for a few clips from the AOL Sessions performance.

The topic of “dark skin vs light skin” is one that needs to be discussed more and taken seriously. There is so much hidden anger, hatred, and shame behind it. Normally I stay out of the debate, because the last time I jumped into a color conversation, furniture was moved and innocent mothers were called everything other than God’s children.

Being a hot cocoa warrior myself, it truly hurts to hear people in my own race hold such animosity towards each other based on skin tone. There is not one single form of beauty — everyone can’t look like Beyoncé or Chris Brown, and if they did this would probably be one boring planet covered in the scent of steaming Ampro Gel!

We need to stop segregating our own damn community and get it together! We have little dark-skinned boys and girls who feel ugly because of the bullshit that they are witnessing around them, and that’s what really makes me want to kick a rapper in the groin. The only real way to clear this ignorance will be to discuss this more and bring back the unity…and stop watching that God awful BET! Yeah, I said it!

So here we have R&B singer Steph Jones bringing up the subject, after he had a run-in with a chocolate hater! Take these words into consideration and attempt to think outside the box today. You can follow Steph on Twitter here.

Can’t say I didn’t smell this one coming.

Musician Wyclef Jean is thinking about running for President of Haiti, CNN’s Sara Holbrooke reported on a blog post. The Haitian-American told CNN, “I can’t sing forever,” and that he’s already filled out the paperwork required for a presidential run. The French-language Canadian publication Le Droit first reported the story over the weekend, and suggested that Jean could be in a good position to battle the rampant corruption of his Caribbean homeland since he’s already wealthy. [CBS News]

Well, it’s always marvelous to see our people going out and making a difference. I wasn’t going to announce this so soon, but I am thinking about running for president of Obama’s Beauty Supply and South Miami Heights. I believe that with my wit and vigor, ice cream trucks will once again roam the streets in the hood, prices of yaki will drop, and Red Lobster will bring back all-you-can-eat shrimp!

Well look who’s still working hard and keeping panties moist — it’s Steph Jones!

Our soulful singing friend has another record making waves around the net. This one is called “B E A utiful” — an uptempo record about the various forms of beauty. Steph says, “I just wanted people to feel comfortable in there own sexy.. Sexy comes in any color shape or size!”

Be thankful someone is saying this shit! Personally, I’m tired of seeing all the same types of women in these magazines and TV shows. Why can’t Gabourey Sidibe shake her ass in a Drake video?

Check the song out below.

Where the hell have you been? The fuckery, hot mess, and other good times of THE FURY have officially returned. Feel free to apply your most luxurious Creole-inspired lacefront for this momentous occasion. Thanks a million to my boy Zillz for saving my life and spicing this shit up for me. There will be a few more tweaks here and there, but this is your new home, so keep your feet off the couch!

I have received all of the Twitter messages, emails, and death threats — you people wanted the blog back and I’m sorry I made you wait so long. Now I’m back like the warts on Kat Stacks’ genitals and it’s time to wreak havoc! Shake that ass and make your baby daddy/baby mama mad!

Love + Respect,

Kid Fury

The infamously offensive and hilarious Adult Swim cartoon will be returning to your TV screens next year with plenty of “niggas” to go around.

I’m sure there will be tons of dead Michael Jackson jokes, cracks on Obama, and maybe a hint of Tiger Woods shade. I’m strapping on my seat belt now!

Just in time for the holiday festivities, here is the new Steph Jones video for his remake of the popular Christmas song, “Little Drummer Boy”. Ya’ll already know that this man’s name is stamped on my stan card, so this post was inevitable. The video features cameos from Jordin Sparks, B. Scott, and Steph’s pectoral muscles.

This is what Mr. Jones had to say on why he chose to recreate this tune.

Ukulele Boy has arrived! Grab your pad and pen and jot down these notes!

• He snatches every Creole wig ever! 
• His vocals have destroyed Ciara and Rihanna!
• His facial expressions leave Nicki Minaj in the dust!
• The cough at 00:25 is greater than oxygen!
• The-Dream, Ne-Yo, and R. Kelly will remain upset for not writing a song as great as this!
• India.Arie and her guitar could never!
• He needs to be the new host of 106 & Park and perform for Obama!
• Matthew Knowles will try to sign him — he will decline!
  
• Where is his Grammy?

That is all.

Get glad, bitches!

Please fall into the Auto-Tune shade at the end! Shouts to Erykah-Badu.com for the pic. Highlights of The Queen’s new album are after the jump.

There’s nothing like a good old trip down to Wal-Mart to make your fuckery meter hit code red and burst in delight. Come on, you know you have walked around in that bitch only in hopes of bumping into a tragedy or two. I can always count on finding someone’s mother perusing the frozen food section, wearing a nightie and clutching a Florida Lotto ticket. That’s reason enough for me to head out there on a random weeknight.

Anyway, here are some photos of Wal-Mart shoppers and their variety packs of fun. Don’t forget to bookmark PeopleofWalMart.com for a daily laugh.

The Light-skinned Edition!

VIBE Magazine is returning to newsstands (YAY!) and for their new arrival, they slapped Broke-Leg Bloodhound and Beat Her Up Beaver on their cover. You can figure out which one is which. I’m not concerned with either of their spreads unless Drake is talking about his banana peel eyes and why he pouts his lips like that, and/or Chris is giving out cheat codes for Tekken 6. Let’s just celebrate a great magazine coming back to action!

Mr. Ordinary (aka Steph Jones) recently had a very intimate ATL party for his mixtape, Gravity, which I posted about a month ago. Although I wasn’t invited because I’m not a Georgia-based blogger like all the other cool kids, I hear it was a great event and the music, energy, and passion in the room was better than a Trey Songz video. If you haven’t already, download the mixtape and get your entire life!

More pics can be found across the street with the hardworking Freddy O!

ATLien (StraightFromTheA.com) ♥ +
Drama Dupree (Drama Dupree.com) ♥

I could kick my blog day off with notes about Rihanna Mae’s drunk ass antics from last night, but I like to keep things spicy on here. So instead we’re going to discuss the brick house that is my girl Beth Ditto. In case you are new to her juiciness, Beth is the vocalist of indie rock band, The Gossip — she is also my sexy friend in the head who makes me grilled cheese!

Don’t ignore her fashion sense! You know you’re about to go on a Google hunt to find that dress and get your hair colored like her! I don’t blame you.

Before these other turkeys jumped aboard the I’m So Different Express, a certain honey-skinned goddess was paving the way to their freakish destinies. Her name is Erykah Badu — but around her we call her Everything. As you can see in these Christopher Folk pictures, she is serving black and white, vintage pussy the way it should be served! Control your emotions!

Goddess Badu also made an appearance at yesterday’s Soul Train Music Awards. Yeah, you chicks can keep your leather and your shaved heads. We’ll see you next year when you catch up to the Pocahontas era!

Guess what has these delectable chocolate kisses all fired up! Here’s a hint: It’s not the new free chicken promotion at KFC!

It’s Brian McKnight! He gave the ladies moist drawers and sweaty bangs at his album release party yesterday. I had know idea he even had another album coming out, but I’m sure my aunt will snatch a copy to listen to on her way to work.

Now you all know there has to be some major movement going on in the Earth’s foundation for me to be posting shit on a Saturday. Especially, when I’m just about to hit the club for some ass-shaking and body-rocking in the name of Becky. However, I need to let you readers have it. Why did nobody inform me that Dwight Eubanks (aka Ms. Astonishing Pussy) has his own show in the works? I thought ya’ll loved me!

Behind The Purple Door is a reality show capturing all the drama, excitement, and cuntasticness that comes along with styling hair with Madame Eubanks! To hell with The Real Houseflies of Atlanta — I need this on my DVR now!!!

Yes, Master P aka P. Miller (or whatever the hell he calls himself) has joined the reality show battlefield as executive producer and host of a new VH1 program.

Take notes, celebs! If you’re already in a relationship and don’t have a particularly interesting life, be somebody’s mentor. That’s sure to get you a VH1 contract. Next, Karrine Steffans will be helping young cum-guzzlers turn their lives around and find Christ. They do this for you!

My fellow Furians, behold the source from which my stan fire currently burns brightest! Steph Jones has finally dropped his mixtape (or lifetape as he calls it) titled Gravity. Now, I could go on a tangent and diss a ton of other male R&B singers (Jeremih’s head, Chris Brown’s fists, Trey Songz’ inability to close his damn mouth), but that would be ugly and off-topic.

Instead, I will say that Steph’s mixtape is fun, futuristic, fiery, and free! The production is dope, the vocals are beautiful, and the theme carries on well. I’m not being paid for this kindness, so you know there has to be truth in this font! Just download and get your lives, kids.

Follow Steph Jones on Twitter: http://twitter.com/stephjonesmusic

Please pardon the lack of updates on here these past few days. I am currently sick and shut in, with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and a bottle of Vicks by my side. This illness is clearly the work of Tina Knowles and her hocus pocus. So, if any of you have a remedy for Creole curses, let me know.

In the meantime, please enjoy this video of Geisha and her various fleamarket hairstyles.

Whitney is back and she’s snatching your idol’s wig off for fun. This new video for her single, “Million Dollar Bill”, proves it. I love the song and Aunt Nippy looks gorgeous. I will say that the concept of a secret club in a diner, supermarket, and/or sewer, is used more than Bow Wow’s bussy, but I love it nonetheless.

Oprah ‘nem (because after Oprah, everybody else is ‘nem) made appearances at the Toronto press conference for the upcoming film Precious, yesterday. Mariah Carey is giving me Vision of Love in these photos and it’s wonderful. Sherri Shepard…well you’ll see.

All this buzz surrounding other celebrity debacles completely overshadowed the birth of Lauren London’s little Weezy F. Baby!

I’m sure Reginae is feeling some type of way about all of these “friends” that she has popping up all over the place. New life is always a beautiful thing, though. Nivea, we’re just waiting on you, girl.

MTV is already leaps and bounds ahead of EBT’s previous “tribute” award show/clusterfuck.

I have a lifetime membership with the Fefe Dobson stan club and I’m not afraid to say it. There a meetings every third Wednesday of the month and we all recieve free stickers and Capri Sun pouches. 

My girl is back in effect with a new independent album on the way and an already buzzing single titled, “I Want You”. Even though Fefe is underrated and has other pop chicks biting her style, she’s still a bad bitch! Breath her in.

That’s right! My girl Jazmine Sullivan is still styling and profiling on you hoes! All these other R&B girls are trying to leak nude photos and run dastardly errands for BET in hopes of gaining publicity. Meanwhile, Jazmine is doing what she’s supposed to do — SHE’S SINGING! Her debut album still assassinates your favorite artist’s hopes and dreams, and that’s all there is to it. Keep that in mind as I do a dramatic Vogue Evolution dip.

Aunt Viv turned 45 years young last week (her faced turned 731) and she had a little gathering in Toronto on Saturday to celebrate! Yeah, she kind of favors a bag of sun-dried tomatoes, but she’s still our family…and we’ve got to be that fist! Send her your birthday wishes and leave your Wal-Mart gift cards in the back next to the bottles of Nuvo.

Now this is what Fridays are all about!

Just when Solange and Rihanna thought they were bad, Diane Amos (aka The Pine-Sol Lady) does a drive-by on all these industry bitches. She is giving you face, hair, body, AND Isopropanol! Are you paying attention, world? On top of all that, this photo was inspired by a beautiful Tom Ford perfume ad featuring my queen, Erykah Badu. Please feel free to fall the hell out in dramatic cunt fashion at any time. I know I did.

But wait! There’s more!

Life.

A day or two ago I posted a photo of Serena Williams looking like the Hound of Baskerville in Philadelphia. Well, I thought it would be wrong of me to ignore this. At yesterday’s ESPY Awards, The Brolic Bombshell and her sister Venus presented Nelson Mandela with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award which was accepted on his behalf by his daughter Zindzi Mandela. They both looked lovely as ever, which is how I like to see them. The Kid is pleased.

What do you get when you throw a card-carrying member of Team Chunk, some zest, a few J-Sett counts, and a little Creole seasoning in a pot and mix it all up? You get magic, bitch! Please feast your peepers on this delectable daisy giving the “Sweet Dreams” performance of a lifetime. Give them what they need, diva!

Maxwell rocked The Early Show on CBS this morning and I hear the panties were being rocket launched onto the stage. This man’s voice could quite possibly be the key to world peace. I could be ready to murder someone and if I hear him hit that note from “A Woman’s Work”, I’ll be happily soaking in my own juices for a week.

Maxwell’s new album BLACKsummers’ night is in stores now. Do yourself a favor and buy it!

Katrina and her baller boyfriend, Kenyon Martin, stocked up on free Ritz crackers and spray can cheese at an EBT Awards after-party earlier this week. They make a…decent couple. I even heard that K-Mart got that ugly ass lipstick kiss tattoo on his neck to show his love for Trina Bean. How foolish romantic! Hopefully, he doesn’t beat her up or cheat on her — well then again, maybe if he does we’ll get more of this type of shit.

Oh, these MFs were there too. [insert eye-roll here]

The Fantastic Voyage video that I’ve been waiting for has finally dropped. I will admit that this is one of my favorite songs by Ciara — the video, not so much. I caught a lot of our local Miami dance moves in there, which I appreciate, but I expected something different. Anyway, for a non-creole video it was cute and Ciara looked fabulous. Makes me wanna get a ponytail from Walgreens and swing it around on South Beach.

I don’t know what the fuck Missy had on, though.

What, no Popeye’s coupons?

The Mistress of Jambalaya, Bebe Zahara Carter, promoted her new joint campaign with Feeding America called Show Your Helping Hand after her Madison Square Garden show yesterday. Fans can donate non-perishable food items (and money, honey) at all of Beyoncé’s tour stops and they will go to hungry Americans nationwide. That Knowles gal is so damn giving.

Now none of you MFs go to that show with sugar cubes and barley for Solange. I know how you mischievous little things can be.

Click here for more info and below for more Bebe pics.

For some reason, I can totally see Aunt Areefa Frankluhn singing this tune.

I don’t know why it took me so long to come across this video, but thanks to Bry’Nt for introducing it to me through Twitter. I’m tempted to walk around the corner and hit up the Mickey D’s dollar menu, just so I can blast this shit and Tread on Serpents with a Sweet Tea in hand.

I think I’m posting this more out of support for Rap-Up Magazine and their new issue than Ciara and her old album, but yesterday was a good Sunday so let me have a pleasant attitude. That is a very nice photo of Ciara. If life were a ball, Ciara would always win Butch Queen in Drag. Category Closed.

Check out the trailer for her upcoming movie, Mama, I Wish I Could Sing after the jump.

This has been a big week for the New Music category, now hasn’t it? I thought I would end it all with one more new track from the Quick Weave Queen, Geisha! It’s called “Swet’N Me” — yes, you better get into these misspelled words. Now watch Geisha do that God awful “jerk” dance to her hoodrat shit.  

Before their was Marta Girl, Youtube was ruled by Nala West. If you have been a Crunkster for a while then you probably remember this powerful tune that Fresh shared with the world a while back. Then, just to prove how bad of a bitch she is, Queen Nala posted another video of her reading the comments people left on C+D and cursed all the haters out! Please, pledge alleigance to the Thug Misses flag. Teyana Taylor wishes she could be this hardcore.

Shouts out to Sam of That Grape Juice for nabbing an interview with Ciara in the UK. They covered everything from the Fantastic Voyage album to haters and Twitter. Make sure you check out the entire thing.

Things have been looking better for Ciara over the past week. She finally took out those God awful prison bitch cornrows and went for a more normal yaki. Her opening performance for Britney Spears reportedly went rather well and I even like her next single, “Work”. I don’t like her doing the chicken wing dance to it onstage, but she’s from the south — it figures. Anyway, the ‘razzi caught Ci Ci outside BBC Radio in London promoting the hell out of that Amtrak Ride album. I mean, they’re still using them as drink coasters at Denny’s, but now people may actually want to pick one up and look at it. Score one for Ciara.

That’s right! Three years ago, I created this sanctuary for fun and fuckery and it just continues to grow. Yes, I’m giving this mofo its own post, because I’m proud of my semi-hard work and I appreciate everyone who supports me and my efforts. If you would like to give a birthday gift, you can always send me Paypal donations and/or a plate of ribs! Love!

You know, last night I had a dream that The Parkers was coming back to television.Then I woke up and realized that shit was not gonna happen. So, what do I have left? — CW’s The Game.

Tonight the show will wrap up it’s 3rd season, but with the way things are looking over at The CW network, they might wrap up the series all together. Then, what feel good black sitcom will I have to turn to? TVOne isn’t evening airing 227 anymore! So, I urge you all to tune into The Game’s one hour season finale tonight at 8/7c. Keep the ratings up and the show on! Otherwise, I’m just going to have to blow some shit up!

Not all hoodrats act foolish and trifling 24/7 — some of them take care of their business. This evening’s Hoodrat Track belongs to the Ghetto Twins with “Responsibility”. Is there anyone else who loves when people with gold teeth get deep? It always touches my soul, personally.

Thank you to Gem of The Gemini Life for showing readers that hoodrats have hearts.

UGK (RIP Pimp C) always served the world with Hoodrat Tracks and today is no different. This Bun B special is called “Pop It 4 Pimp” and features his fellow hoodrat rappers, Juvenile and Webbie. Listening to today’s track makes me think of multi-colored weave, big booties, and gold teeth — mission accomplished.

Thanks to reader Kristian for sending in this magnificence.

Erykah Badu is the only celebrity who can dress in all kinds of wacky shit and still have my stamp of approval, because she’s B-A-D-U! Look at her with her unnecessary pilot headgear on…feeding white people lotion. Ugh! Is she not a goddess? Does she not give you everything? Beyoncé, why aren’t you taking notes? Jot this shit down!

The Thug Misses is back once again with another public service announcement — this time it’s for all the men out there. Fellas, open your ears and your pockets for this shit!

The Fury’s dear friend (in the head), Britney Houston, has returned to Youtube with a new video remake. This time she decided to keep it in the family and pay a tribute to her long lost twin sister, Solange, with “Sandcastle Disco”. Hopefully she will follow it up with an album titled, Brit-Negro & The Ocean Drive Queens.

Put on your pretty panties and whip out your funkiest glowsticks for this one!