KID FURY

The Read: Sweet & A Meat (feat. @Chescaleigh)

Kid Fury August 1, 2013 The Read 131 Comments

This week, our good friend, Chescaleigh, is back to help us discuss Dwyane Wade’s typo name, DJ Khaled’s publicity stunt and much more. Your listener letters are as fiery as ever and Kid Fury has a powerful read for potato chip injustice.

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  • nell kaye pee

    Yyyyay

  • EM

    DMX could get a job at MacDonald’s busting a mop, it’ll take him like 1,000 years to pay off his debt but hey you shouldn’t have spent your money like you was living in Monopoly.

    Confused you should just cut that guy off. He’s a fuck-boy, rapeist, and a wanna-be Stebie J?! Girl how you ain’t mutilated that nigga is beyond me. Your kid is MUCH better off.

    Damn Fury was pissed this whole episode over them chips? they must have truly
    been offensive!

  • lala

    FURY SPEAKS NO LIES. i had those chips 2 weeks ago and my tastebuds are still disrespected….however i cant wait to try popeyes new concoction

    • earthshaker1217

      I saw the commercial for Popeye’s last night and thought, “Popeye’s is really stepping their game up.

    • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

      I saw it on the internet and said NAWL this ain’t true but when I saw the commercial whoo!!! lawd http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5pgvzdklU1rwcc6bo1_500.gif

    • vanessa197676

      Someone on my Facebook feed said that he impregnated his underwear after he had the new Popeye’s Chickenwaffle tenders. I fell out.

  • ChilliLipstick

    Wohooo!!

  • Jasmine Banks

    YESSSS!!! THE READ!!! <3

  • emjay

    I am 100% here for Crissle’s chicken rinds idea they sound delish. And when Chescaleigh did that Britney Spears impersonation I flatlined… too much lol

  • Sabrina Montgomery

    I knew Chescaleigh’s voice sounded familiar! She made “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls”.

  • Yes4TheRead

    Chescaleigh’s Brittany/Beyonce mashup…..#casket #dead #flipmeoveri’mdone

  • Kamille

    yaaay new read!! *insert crazy twerk gif here*

  • blue ivy’s toy box of wigs

    NEW READ NEW READ YES GAWD

    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=qzr78x&s=7

    • Bri

      LMAO at your name!!

  • North West’s Blocked Calls

    Listen, I never leave comments on this website– but bitch my AC was fixed after spending hours sweating like Keyshia Cole edges at a Beyonce concert. On top of that, a new episode of The Read… With Chescaleigh? JESUS IS REAL!

  • Guest
    • dmx’s credit score

      ^this is mine. wasn’t logged in.

  • Yes4TheRead

    The North Carolina in me lowkey likes Crissle’s chicken and waffle idea…just sayin.

  • Guest

    Maybe these raggedy women need to stop having these kids in the first place? You were supposedly raped (if she was raped she would have reported it and he would be in jail) yet she kept the baby anyway and now whining about the lack of father figure? give me a phucking break

    • EM

      Do you know how many women are raped and never report it? Alot okay and you blame her for being brave enough to keep a child she received from rape? You sound like a fuck boy yourself.

    • IAmUnanimousInThat

      This isn’t some lifetime movie every girl (and boy in some cases) have the courage to come up and say something like that? Put up with all the shame and guilt causes by it. Also because the person has been personally known and trusted for a long time. Most rapists aren’t some guy who jumps out of bush and goes boo. They are people in your life that you would never guess.

      http://31.media.tumblr.com/97257f47a18398dfcf8ea18dc9e31420/tumblr_mp36f53SkC1spo3yuo1_500.gif

    • Kim.Couture
  • Guest

    I promise The Read is what keeps me going through the week…even if it’s parked close to the end of it…

  • Guest

    Maybe these raggedy women need to stop having these kids in the first place? You were supposedly raped (if she was raped she would have reported it and he would be in jail) yet she kept the baby anyway and now whining about the lack of father figure? give me a phucking break

    • ChilliLipstick

      Have you seen the statistics for the amount of women that report rape? Have you seen the statistics for the amount of men that get convicted and punished for rape? It’s low. A lot of women don’t report out of shame, or because they don’t want to get the rapist in trouble (it sounds bizarre, I know, but it’s mostly because rapists tend to be someone you know and love). I think this statement was really ignorant and you need to keep in mind how common rape is and how hurtful your comment is. Also, it’s really no one’s business what she does with her life.

      • LikeWhat

        I don’t think she was talking about the rape, I think she was addressing why she didn’t abort the child.

        • ChilliLipstick

          I know but why she didn’t abort the child is none of her business. Also, the way she went on about the rape thing rubbed me the wrong way, so I felt the need to say something about it. I thought it was ignorant and really insensitive considering how many rape victims there are. Rape is so common that there is a high possibility that someone who read her comment was a victim themselves.

          • LikeWhat

            I get you. I was just saying, though I did find dude’s(or chick’s) comment really weird. Unfortunately, I can only count two of my close female friends who haven’t been raped. I understand some people still wanting to keep the baby though I don’t know if I could before a certain point.

        • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

          Maybe it’s because everyone doesn’t believe in abortion and because it’s not the child’s fault her or his daddy is a sick bastard.

    • ChilliLipstick

      In actuality, a lot of rapes happen every year, and a lot of men aren’t punished for it, and usually get the sympathy. I don’t want to get into the misogyny behind your comment because it’s long, but I think you should read up on statistics about rape.

    • dmx’s credit score

      the misogyny! nothing but the blood of the lamb and a good ass whooping can help you and your ignorant ass at this point. you really are not shit.

      http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2qpl67rpu1r8w2xvo2_500.gif

      • Don’tComeForMe

        OMG! Your username! “dmx’s credit score” though! I can’t!…

    • Kim.Couture
  • dmx’s credit score

    everything flies out of window when beyonce is involved

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb6kscf9OR1rbodwto1_400.gif

    • Jazz

      Life is summarized in this very gif. May God bless you. You going to hell for that name tho

      • IAmUnanimousInThat

        it’s a shame parents would name their children after a single digit number.

    • SiobahnFisher

      No! Not Miss Jeanette!!!!!!! I hate ya’ll lmfao.

  • j. patricea

    I swear The Read gets me through the week…even if it’s parked near the end of it!!

  • Nev’s Body Hair

    Franschesca(sp) you ain’t shit!! Lmaoo yasss for that damn read and I literally fell to the floor with that Beyonce/Britney mash up bahahaha. Kid Fury was not here for the lessers today and I loved every second of it.

  • Heemi

    Yes! Crissle passed a read, lol!!!

  • dolly bouzi

    Dj khalid, is craving for attention, that’s all I have to say

    • ChilliLipstick

      Yeah…he’s so thirsty for attention. What a way to promote your album. :¬/ of course he wouldn’t have to do that if he actually had a fan base.

  • dmx’s credit score
  • dmx’s credit score

    Crissle. Read. Fuck you with a screw and drive it in.

    http://awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ReadHunny.gif

  • Guest

    Kid. Fucking. Fury. Them chips are so disrespectful.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0865znKBJ1rok7l5o1_500.gif

    • dmx’s credit score

      i wasn’t logged in but yeah this is mine

  • TT

    Yassss! Apparently the 3:38 mark is when she served Kesha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndukGasUuwE

    • Blue Ivy’s Edge Collection

      that look alone would have been enough for me to retreat back into my cave of irrelevance if i was keyshia

      • Don’tComeForMe

        LOL. and your name made me almost choke laughing!

    • Kim.Couture
      • Jaders

        this gif is everything!!!!

    • SiobahnFisher

      She did that in Atlanta also. I would have luh-ovvvved for Keyshia to have caught this shade.

  • Jazz

    Bitch…that Britney/Beyonce mashup. Lord Jesus, you a worthy.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/f4abd8a1a44fd3cba159c07bce475d6c/tumblr_mqld2q6gT81scjd8ro1_500.gif

  • IAmUnanimousInThat

    Chescaleigh’s read was so fucking good. Like I am so sick of straight white males crying boohoo. Acting and even in some cases, stating that their demographic is the most discriminated against. Like dry your tears child, what is wrong? Oh someone wrongfully called you racist/homophobic/sexist? Oh how terrible? You can’t use the words nigga/faggot/slut(and its variations)? Even in non racist/homophobic/sexist ways? Oh child. Put your shoulder on my head and cry for the torment society gives you.

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/83513d3187f66ca3005d7fe6f4a0a9a4/tumblr_mnw3a2zVbt1r9l4bco1_250.gif

    • ChilliLipstick

      GO OFF!!

    • Nev’s Body Hair

      I becoming less and less here for white folk, Jesus forgive me.

      • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

        Same here especially this whole why can’t I use a certain word like why do you want to use the word so damn bad? Whoo the privileged irk my spirit.

      • ashaballot

        omgoodness….I so agree.

    • Don’tComeForMe

      YAAAASSS! Thank you!

    • Edges Anonymous

      Ma’am

  • jbm

    About GOT DAMN TIME someone said something about the potato chips. Read muthafucka read!!!

  • jbm

    about GOT DAMN TIME with the chips! Read muthafucka read!!!!

  • http://www.twitter.com/LostDialect Selasi

    DJ Caillou omg Crissle

  • Kezra Johnson

    the read is everything…i mean everything, love kid fury and crissle

  • Shiz the Snorlax
  • Shiz the Snorlax

    The amount of fucks to give coming from Kid Fury:

    http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/misc/give-a-fuck-o-meter.gif

  • Blue Ivy’s Bodyguard

    Sweet baby Jesus Chescaleigh’s Britney impersonation at the end had me wading in the water, all the way off a cliff into my casket

  • Shiz the Snorlax

    BITCHHHHHHHHH, NOT CONFUSED BOTTOMS!!!!!

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m87gbmHmBM1qcfzujo1_500.gif

  • Shiz the Snorlax

    When she went on Twitter to refute those rumors I read it with this face of her:
    http://www.studentsoftheworld.info/sites/tv/img/15173_raven22.jpg

  • pusherlovegirl

    I want franchesca to be a permanent co-host!

  • Shiz the Snorlax
  • Shiz the Snorlax

    Fuck you with a screw, and drive that shit in. YES, BITCH YOU DO THAT!!!!

    http://static.tumblr.com/km147yu/M43m8gh99/lafayette_gif.gif

  • Shiz the Snorlax
  • Candy

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpg3so4bvm1qiy6q1.gif

    I just simply could not handle her Britney impression. I fell out of my bed and onto the floor and laughed until my abs started to hurt. And her read was flawless!

  • Jaders

    yes!!!!!

  • Joseline’s Tears

    Kid Fury, Crissle, Chescaleigh, I would just like to say that today I went through a horrendous break up and this show has been the only thing to make me cackle, so thank you from the bottom of my shady, single heart. & I mean that shit.

    • HaUtriediT

      That the thumbs down was an accident. Although your hurt, look at it as God saying, let me get this F**K person out your life. Say no to F**K boys, and may you have more shade than ever before!!

      • Joseline’s Tears

        True, not my error, and God don’t make no mistakes. I hate it took 7 months to figure it out but still. No love for anyone else, just good dick and jokes, that’s all I’m offering hence forth lol.

        • HaUtriediT

          AMEN!!

    • http://blog.franchesca.net chescaleigh

      aw man, you’re most welcome and hang in there <3

      • Honey Roasted Gooch

        You just….I can’t even…I’m just gonna…-shakes rattles and dies-

  • yolanda

    chesca’s brittney impression was on point

  • Yep It’s Kwanzaa
  • Adaeze (Big Sister)

    Chescaleigh….didn’t you get proposed on video…gur-lah!

    • http://blog.franchesca.net chescaleigh

      nope.

  • RihannasVocalCoach

    Fury’s response to every listener letter was on point. After the word rapist….there is no need for conversaion. Like, girl, you are CONSIDERING having your son raised by a rapist??? nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. That’s like Keyshia Cole being Blue Ivy’s nanny.
    And as for the dude with the peace corps boyfriend…ummm..might as well make your A4A, grindr, etc profiles now if you haven’t already. Steady orgasms are obviously a higher priority than a good man. You’d be doing him a favor, let him find someone who appreciates him. ugh
    Chesca and that Britney Grown Woman mashup….

  • Char

    what’s the name of the tom ford remix at the beginning of the show?

  • Shabooboo

    But WHY does she sound JUST like britney tho

  • FreeTuitionMakeHerDance

    Kid Fury’s read on those chips though!

    Fury: “For them to DISRESPECT the legacy!!!”

    Me: http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1020728/glozell-lmao-o.gif

  • DJ Khaled’s Ring

    Fury, you HAVE to make Chescaleigh a host. After this, she needs to be one. I have another #Brittany/Beyoncemashup idea! Allow us to give our own #passtheread jingle, b/c I can BLOW.

    • RihannasVocalCoach

      Your name though…. ::calls security::

  • Loose Edges

    My reactions to nicki and khaled. These two queens need to sit in a corner some where and discuss thier lack of edges and good sense.

    • Tina

      Words mean things

      • Brandon Honey B Balmer

        OMG THANK YOU. Thinking “they’re” flawless

        • dmx’s credit score

          it’s a baby. excuse him. lol

  • Kim.Couture
  • Kim.Couture

    That Beyonce proposal would be everything!!!

    http://data.whicdn.com/images/68125812/large.gif

  • ibetrez

    when i’m at work, by wednesday i’m craving an episode of ‘the read’.. another good episode y’all!!! so good to a small-town gay black man that has almost nothing to hear but 2 chainz and abysmal hetrosexual rhetoric lol

  • Kim.Couture
  • Kim.Couture

    Quiet as its kept sometimes Mommy is the best Daddy….

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lni3lylM111qbk5g0.gif

  • ibetrez

    But WAIT….. That Britney impression though lmaooooo

  • Kim.Couture

    “Did he just call his butt hole a hot pocket.. thats gross”

    Just what I was thinking….thirsty ass bottom… Look listen if it was “love” you’ll keep ya ass at home

    http://lascandaleuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Tamar-La-Scandaleuse.gif

  • Carmen

    I REALLY REALLY hope Bey got Keisha Ampro Gel Cole together while on stage. Please god let this be true. LMAO

  • A fan

    Aww Fury. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but you sounded like you really didn’t want to be there or you didn’t care. I’m probably speaking for only myself, but if you need to take some time off of the Kid Fury business to focus on yourself then by all means do that. People will get over The Read not being uploaded for a week or two <3

    • NE Heartbreak

      Agreed I felt that too. But I also thought that if the show is supposed to take on the premise of an audience of listeners, listening to friends talk to and over each other, then we got it. we got just that. And maybe he wasn’t having a good day. Sending love and light to em.

      • dmx’s credit score

        i love your name. that song is my shit.

        • NE Heartbreak

          its my initials :-) NEH – Thank you!

  • Guest

    Why did I just realize that Dwyane Wade’s name was spelled that way? As for Ms. Funches, far be it from me to shade someone’s family name, but Funches? I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I swear when I read this headline: “Dwyane Wade’s Ex-Wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade …”, I was like “What does ‘funches’ mean?” “Is it like ‘fugly’?” Like, “funches = f***ing punches???” Then I had to read it again and see the hyphen and was like, “oooooohhhhhhh, that’s her maiden name O_o

  • Ayael De’Nari Delbe

    This has been the funniest video YET!!!! I had to tear my headphones out of my ears to stop laughing at work before I got my black ass fired!!!! The shit you all say is priceless!! Keep up the amazing work!!!

  • Guest

    I swear on everything that the universe is trying to tell me something. I am dealing with Crissle’s read. Just do right. If you ain’t shit, you ain’t shit. i don’t understand how people think common courtesy is optional, especially when you’re “friends.”

  • stephanie

    i didn’t enjoy your special guest …

    • Nia

      she had THE MOST annoying voice i have ever heard

  • Will

    Kid Fury was grumpy as fuck this whole episode, damn though sexy chocolate.

  • Brandon Honey B Balmer

    Kid Fury did seem like he had an attitude from the jump lol

  • KING

    My whole body went into submission when Chescaleigh did that Britney impression. I’ve never heard anything more accurate.

  • SiobahnFisher

    cuz i walk wit a vengeannnnnnnnnnnce

    • Guest

      i bet cha i run thissssss.

  • http://ofnerdsninjasandmonsters.tumblr.com/ Pop It For Some Boston Market

    Through the whole segment of this week’s #TheRead my reactions were like http://31.media.tumblr.com/905e8dba0980b2ca99d8b0c6130561f8/tumblr_mku8ulD63d1s6t1oio1_500.gif

  • FuckYourWhiteTears

    I’m not one to actively try to make white people cry, but I’m with Chesca on this one. I’ve had to just completely stop talking to non-POC who refuse to enter a conversation about race with open ears and a closed mouth. If you shut the fuck up and stop trying to act all offended that we have the audacity to point out that white people benefit from the infrastructure of this society, then you might just end up being a useful human being. Otherwise, have a seat in the corner, face the wall, and don’t move until I tell you to.

  • Simon Cowell’s adultery

    a single tear fell when Fury said “honey roasted gooch” i am DEAD.

  • vanessa o’grady

    I like and respect Beyonce but am not here for a WHOLE show about her concert!
    She is not a deity. Your stan discussions of Beyonce are becoming the least interesting parts of this AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS podcast.

  • Christina H

    “Honey Roasted Gooch”……………….Bitch……….That has got to be the funniest thing I’ve heard ALLLLLLLLLL year.

  • On the subject of typos……

    Ok, well I don’t know if it is intentional but it is recurring so I feel it my duty to correct: Subscribe not “Suscribe” in iTunes. Also, “Subscribe to T.R. in/at iTunes” is more specific. Just looking out for my favourite (yes with an ‘u’ as I’m English) podcast.

  • Z Wildin

    Those chips were really bad lmfaooooo

  • Co

    I agree with the comment on those chicken and waffle chips. My husband was looking forward to those chips coming out when he hear about them and when he final saw them on the shelf he grabbed a bag. When we got home and tried them, I was like what the hell is this bullshit!!! I spit them out. Unbelievably enough he threw them out and this nigga never throws any food out. He is a waste not want not type of guy.

  • RhapsodyDiva

    I’m weak laughing at Fury’s description of the Chicken & Waffles flavored Lays. It is epic the lengths that he went to say the chips are nasty.