Mary J. Blige Prepares Christmas Album

Kid Fury July 25, 2013 Album Covers 45 Comments

Mary J. Blige is dreaming of a Hip-Hop Soul Christmas. Although we’re still sweating our edges loose in this summer heat, our good singing auntie has announced that she will be dropping her first holiday album later this year.

A Mary Christmas is due in October and mama is giving you dramatic snow queen emotion in the album cover. I’m here for this, but what do songs do you think Mary will lend her soulful sound to? I have a few suggestions.

“Rudeesha The Redboned Reindeer”

“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Crispy Chicken”

“Wrapped Up In A Merry Little Christmas”

“Fresh Lettuce Navidad”

“Crip Walkin Around The Christmas Tree”

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  • Elyon

    “I caught my husband kissing santa claus”

  • Karlie Redd’s bottom teeth

    “Rudolph the blue nosed pit”

  • Jae

    she had a song on a compilation Christmas album way back in the day. “christmas in the city” featuring angie martinez or some other lightskinned female rapper lady. anyway, it was a cute song.

    • GΣT SΩMΣ

      Bi…!!! I ALMOST forgot Angie Martinez did music many moons ago!

      • Brittany

        we all did

      • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

        Shoot only song I knew of her doing was Ladie’s Night so I didn’t know she hoped on someone else track.

        • GΣT SΩMΣ

          Now, don’t do this to Angie!She snuck in a nice little track in the early 2000′s as a matter of fact let me…

          • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

            Ohhhhhhhhhh I actually remember that track more so for Lil Mo but Alright Angie lol.

          • GΣT SΩMΣ

            Yasssssss! If I could go! I’m about to watch it again lol.

        • earthshaker1217


  • John Doe

    “fresh chicken roasting on an open fire”

    • Chris

      “Nacho sunflower seeds roasting on a gas lit stove.”

  • John Doe

    “O Sweaty Night, My A/C Is Broken”

    “Grandma Got Run Over By A Box Chevy On 24′s (Remix ft. Brandy)”

    “Tax Papers Roasting On An Open Fire”

    “I’m Dreaming of A Gunshot Free Christmas”

    and “Salvation Army Bells”

    But seriously, I stopped seeing it for Mrs. 3 Cheeses and Ranch Dressing once I realized that she cooked up a tour in about 45 minutes and one of the stops was my city simply because she needed some loot. Girl, go drink some honey flavored herbal tea, sing in the correct key during live performances, and do better.

  • M.J.

    “Whose Child is This? (That Bitch Lashaune Said It’s Yours)”
    “12 Days to Pay the Gas Bill”
    “All I Want For Christmas Is Some Wet Seal”
    “Beans and Franks Cooking on An Open Fire”
    “I’ll Be Home For Christmas As Soon As I Post Bail”
    “Hark! the Herald Sirens Blare”
    “Walking In Winter Potholes”

  • FreeTuitionMakeHerDance

    “Put extra barbeque and ranch sauce in my stocking.”

  • Nev’a Body Hair

    It’s gone be a painful Christmas of no more drama and baby mama turmoil, I’ll pass Mary.

  • Coonye West

    I can’t get over how mournful her face is on the cover skhlkjhjhsaluy

    • Nev’s Body Hair

      Doesn’t it always look that way?

  • You’re Welcome

    “12 Tasty Tortilla Days of Christmas

  • RamenNoodles

    Kiiii @ those track title names. Fury will you ever be shit? lol *joins*

    All I Want 4 X-Mas is Crispy Chicken (BK Remix) feat. Trina & Rick Ross
    IRS is Coming To Town (feat. Toni Braxton)
    Bussin’ it Open Around The Christmas Tree
    Insurance Man Got Ran Over By My 96′ Chevy
    Let It Po, Let It Po, Let It Po (Twerking For Santa)
    Frosty, The White Brick (feat. Gucci Mane)

  • Jessica Canseco’s dented nose

    All I want for christmas is a crispy chicken wrap

    Crispy Chicken Wonderland

  • Buss It Open For Tuition

    “Dashing through the hood with a Caddy on 28′s…”

  • Kayy

    Oh my gosh is this how we’re gonna do it? LMAO. Well here’s my contribution:

    Little Crispy Chicken Boy
    It’s beginning to look a lot like my career is ending
    If it doesn’t taste like a tortilla
    What chicken means to me

    thats all i got.

  • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

    Here’s my contribution:
    “Santa you da baby daddy” feat. Shawty Lo
    “Deck the annoying bus passenger”
    “Joy to the world the check cleared”
    “The crispy little drumstick” a capella version
    “Light it Up” feat. Boyz II Men & Snoop Lion
    “Pookie The Crackhead”
    “Tax Return: It’s the most wonderful time of the year” feat. Lauryn Hill

  • britchick91
  • Olivia Pope’s Lip Quiver

    Santa is My Baby Daddy ft. Khia
    Daddy Ain’t Coming Home For Christmas ft. 2 Chainz & DMX
    Someone Stole the 22s on Santa’s Caddy ft. French Montana & Migos
    All I Want for Christmas is my Child Support ft Lil Kim
    Blue Christmas (Without My New Lace Front) ft. Nicki Minaj
    Strippers We Have Seen up High ft. Joseline Hernandez & Drake
    Little Duffelbag Boy ft. Lil Wayne
    Joy to the World (The EBT is restocked) ft. K. Michelle
    Knuckin & Buckin around the Christmas Tree ft Chris Brown & Rasheeda
    The Twelve Twerks of Christmas ft. Tyga & Trey Songz
    Chicken Frying On an Open Stove

  • Cease_Desist_and_Reseat

    “It’s beginning to look a lot like an eviction.”
    “Baby loose neck (the nativity story)”

  • Cease_Desist_and_Reseat

    “Hammocks roasting on an open fire, chitterlings nipping at your nose”

  • idreamoflabels

    #MaryJBligeXmasSongs is the best hashtag since #PaulasBestDishes.

    Just a few more:

    -All I Want for Christmas is a New Gold Tooth
    -Silver Shells (It’s Chrismas Time in New Jack City)
    -Santa Claus Isn’t Coming to Our Town
    -It Better be a Silent Night (f/ Kanye West)
    -I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas (f/K-Ci, JoJo, Devante, and Ginuwine)
    -Feliz Notthefather (f/ Marc Anthony)
    -Ave Mary-ahhh

  • Guest

    Is she broke??

    • Karlie Redd’s grammy

      She been broke for a while

  • Sensationaly_Slain

    Deck the halls with boxes of cigarillos

    Hark the herald I got fried chicken wings

    All I want for Christmas is good credit and Hennessy

    The Weed Man is coming to town

    The little duffle bag boy

    Baby there’s watermelon outside

    • RihannasVocalCoach

      I thought I’d get through the comments in one piece…and then i read “Baby there’s watermelon outside”…excuse me while i walk toward the light!

  • brandonjaye

    She said “it’s yours, God,” and it really messed me up…