The Read: Episode Two (w/ Kid Fury & Crissle)

Kid Fury March 13, 2013 The Read 64 Comments

On this week’s show, Crissle and I are reading Kim Kardashian for blood…literally. Chris Brown, A$AP Rocky, Azealia Banks and Bloomberg are just a few others that also catch the shade. Plus, why is Kid Fury a dateless dweeb? Listen up and find out!

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  • Off-Keyshia Cole

    Last week was so fun! can’t wait to get into this ep

  • Mdombrowski_smith

    I love that (of all people) y’all read Mayor
    Bloomberg to fucking filth!

    • Just Sayin

       childddd listen that $112 hike for me to still be dealing with the bums cursing ppl out for not giving them money, these youngins with no behavior that would rather beg for money that everybody else is out working for; the dirt and grime and everything SMH ugh.
      i really expected individual telepods by this year. i expected all of The Jetsons glory… but no, we get metrocard hikes as rats and other unidentifiable creatures the size of cats run by and dance underground. -_-

  • Sophia

    You two are genius.  GENIUS!! I love it!

  • FreeTuitionMakeHerDance

     Thank you Fury and Crissle for that glorious READ! 

    • FreeTuitionMakeHerDance

      and FUCK Kim Kardashian for that bullshit. 

      “Processing Blood” Who has the time?? Why???

      • Earthshaker1217

        When my friend told me about that I said, “That’s demonic.” Taking blood out of your arm, putting it into a machine, and injecting it into your face. Have a seat, Khloe’s sister.

    • Just Sayin

       That Amanda Bynes read was everything!! First thing that came to mind when i saw her picture was Rita Ora also

  • Off-Keyshia Cole

    ‘no nigga – I mean pop’

    this was GLORIOUS! great read

    • MissMe

      Yes!!!! I am so tired of people trying to get me to say soda, I was brought up calling it pop and it will always be pop, fall back, lol

      • Karen Walcott

        As long as we’re not calling it tonic.

  • Sunshine

    Seriously, listening to this yesterday made my day that much brighter & I was already having a good day. I adore the both of you especially when Crissle says “I don’t give a shit.” Bc I wish I could tell that other ppl with no (ZERO) fucks given. Thank you two.❤

  • QueenyBean

    I love the back and forth between you two.  Keep The Read coming guys, looking forward to more.

  • entertainmeh

    Kim K wasn’t preggo, it was on her show…still can’t stand that ho regardless.

  • Cunty

    Listen, I live for Crissle! Everything she says is true tea. 

  • Jessica

    Chile, yellow cake was quoting Miss Gail’s (Miguel’s) song “P***y is Mine.”

  • PeppahLabeija

    I just got me some 2% to pour because I GOT MY DAMN LIFE!! YAS to that read about hiking up MTA fare but I am still drowning in micro-organisms on the damn L train

  • Bri

    I usually love Azealia, but all of these demonic/satanist tweets and RT’s about YungRapunxel the past couple of days… I’m not here for it.

    I’m sure she doesn’t care, but I might have to put her away. I don’t play that.

    • Bri

      I definitely just posted a picture of myself in the wrong place instead of creating a profile. Ah well!

  • Rico.

    Y’all kill me. Every time. Yesss! Lol.

  • killvilleplayuh


  • Introspective

    Fury when you said Chris Brown continues his transformation into Caleb Bryant I was slayed.

    the sweet chariot swung low & came for to carry me home. That is all.

  • AMM

    Love you Two! I feel like we’re all at somebodies Happy Hour having drinks and talking sh*t. Can’t wait till the nxt show!

  • Brittany Tran

    Yup, that’s a new song off CB new album. He performed it on tour.

  • Carmen

    UGH I love you hoes. Crissle.Girl… just yes. 

  • Kia Lovesbi

     Looking forward to Part 3!!! Love you guys together!

  • Statesside

    omg! please keep doing these! Im in here laughing in class lol.

  • Nicole Strouse

    As far as the “Vampire Facial” what they did was, take blood from her arm, spin it in a cetrifuge to make plasma and then dripped it on her face and basically used extreme microdermabrasion with tin needles to reitroduce the plasma into her face…bassically harmless but still stupid as fuck

    • Earthshaker1217

      I still think it’s demonic.

  • Nicole Strouse

    P.S.. I Love your show and all things you create. Thanks for your hustle

  • Trch1097

    This is hilarious!!!

    • Trch1097

      “Rupunzel had edges”…lmfao!!!

  • Dreadenette

    you two are a mess. i love it

  • TJ’sMom


  • The Grinch Who Snatched Weaves

    azealia banks needs stop swinging her weave around and give it back to the poor horse she snatched it from. no animal should have to suffer to hide the fact that the bitch has no edges. yung rapunxel my fucking ass

  • Yep It’s Kwanzaa

    Students at my university are trying to ban smoking on campus out in the open and I AM SO HERE FOR IT!!!! 1) I have asthma 2) ugh the smell 3) I have asthma and would like to not walk into a cloud of poisonous nicotine while I’m trying to walk to class.

  • Che

    Crissle and that sloppy ass tee shirt

  • Dominique Cox-Harris

    Love it

  • Gullible

    I thoroughly enjoyed this.

  • NoTohriious

    LMAOOOO…”Repunzel had edges..”

  • Rio B

    Kid fury man, you are the shit man, So much respect, I laugh at you all the time. im happy about your radio show. and your co-host is funny too.can i come visit you in NYC sir. I’m cute lol

  • erockbaby3000

    Oh my God Thank you Fury especially for that read about Bisexual men read. I’ve had a few people tell me that I’m not Bisexual and I should just come out as gay after I came out to them as Bisexual. thanks for this confidence boost.

    Also you calling Kenya more a mutant for twirling in that damn raggedy ass video was hella fucking funny.

  • MissMac

    Loving the show. I subscribed. I’m gonna need our friend Crissle to learn a little more about hip hop, rap, pop culture! :) not knowing ASAP Rocky and Kid Cudi… I can’t!

  • Nena fly

    Boy u guys, that was a great time…but I love all things Kid Fury so my comments r completely biased! Ur chemistry is easy & the show flows effortlessly. Keep up the good work & Crissle back up of Fury bitch, he’s my gay husband…he just doesn’t know it yet :-)

  • Mizery

    I love you Fury so I want you to report the news correctly… unlike the “others”
    ~ Kim’s facial was from her show which taped since the summer so no she wasn’t pregnant…don’t want you reporting the tea like sr who reports coffee instead
    ~Crissle dear Brooklyn is where it is at…just so you know.

  • ashaballot

    The sex part is so on point to me.

  • Harlem’s own

    I listen for Kid Fury and his other chick keeps talking over him in episode 3. she’s not that clever just a professional hater. Which is fine but she dominating the conversation. More Kid Fury. Less her. Chelsea Handler doesn’t give chewy that man speaking lines. Love ya.

  • Jasmine Monique

    The comedy in this show resuscitates me and returns all 22 (almost 23) years of my life.

    On a serious note, Fury’s read was so true. I am a heterosexual female, but I am a supporter of the gay community in all of it’s forms. I have gay relatives, gay friends, and probably gay supporters of my own media projects. The gay community has come too far to show discrimination against each other.


    Crissle, IM DONE WITH YOU! “Rapunzel had edges” I’m dying!

  • Jacob Alexander

    Azealia Banks is musically gifted, she can sing, rap, and she does both very well. However, her target audience isn’t going to get her many record sales because they will all be too busy at home fighting with their spouses, families, pets, strangers on twitter. If the bad girls club transformed from a TV show to a person,a living breathing creature, that person would be Azealia Banks. She is the only person I know who will sing you a lullaby to put you to sleep, and then punch you in the nose as you doze off. Stop the drama, have some self control, keep putting out good music and then watch your audience broaden from just the angry & confused, to….well every one.

  • Elle’

    I need more “The Read” my favorite Podcast ever. Gave me so much life…I <3 the Truth/Shade!

  • Read like filth

    So Crissle can be wrong. All of this “I don’t have emotions” crap and being proud of it…….stop that. It isn’t cute and you better than that. PS stop pissing off Fury.

  • free2blia

    As I sit here choking on my lunch:
    A chewed up iPhone charger was the absolute “shit” that spoke to every crevice of my insides! I CANNOT with you two!

  • NoNotPinkett

    Y’all are hilarious! I hope this is the beginning of something really big.

  • Nak

    I’ma keep it one hunna percent trill. Crissle is boring. I personally think you don’t need anyone beside you, but if you must, you need to find somebody else. Ask that dude you did the Rapid Fire with, whatever his name is.

  • Bre Cole

    LMAO!!!! I look forward to these videos!! I swear they give me life!!!

  • Fordasuarus

    She means Pop nigga

  • Tina

    I love you guys! You crack me up at my boring job. I feel like you’re the black friends that I always wanted but never had!

  • Mani Kéita Bérété

    I think you should appreciate Mayor Bloomberg’s initiative. He funded the Bloomberg School of Public Health, which I will be attending. You need to understand that it takes alot of work to take care of alll the public health concerns that New York, let alone the U.S has. You should be supportive of ANY initiative that improves the population’s health and stop complaining, because there will always be something to complain about. Also the cigarette industry is too powerful to just completely overthrow. Don’t you think if it was easy to remove, people would have done it by now. I’m a public health major at Johns Hopkins University and I would appreciate it if your read was kept to things you actually have sufficient knowledge about, thank you.

    • Mani Kéita Bérété

      I still support the Read and the funniness but refrain from the Public Health initiatives because you have no knowledge to back it up

  • SafronSahara

    I was straight ROFL when Crissle said she was surprised Kid Cudi could turn a bitch out like that. “Kid Cudi ain’t a real nigga… he ain’t no DMX” oh my!

  • nelliebean

    I love that you guys sound like you just moved to NYC (literally, lol). Bacteria infested trains, cigarette smoke filled, rat passing, piss infested sidewalks will NEVER go away in NYC, no matter how much you read Bloomberg. I appreciate you guys read though. Ya’ll are awesome, lol.

  • belieberkaratemom

    This weeks Read was hysterical. When the two of you laugh out loud I cannot stop myself from laughing. LOVE!

  • Brandon Honey B Balmer

    Crissle – “Black ass bitch……sorry, keep going” I can’t take her sometimes rofl