KID FURY

Brian McKnight Wants To Show You How Your Pu**y Works!

Apparently Brian McKnight has reappeared with plans of releasing an “adult mixtape” in the near future. His first project is a song called “If You’re Ready To Learn” where he offers to teach women the advanced skills of their vaginas such as squirting.

These lyrics are working over a 10-piece nugget meal that I ate three days ago — I can feel it. It’s bad enough that he’s rocking that bloody mohawk at 42-years old. I just want to be wrapped in a dental dam and left to heal.

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  • http://twitter.com/mrsstarstatus Lashuntrice

    Let my man have his midlife crisis lol. 

  • Crys

    I hope this is a mid-life crisis because…

  • dannie_yamz

    I havent laughed this hard since i saw that indonesian lady dougie on sticks of butter…

  • Lola Smalls

    Someone needs to start back at one.

    • Brooklynz_diva718

      Hahahahahahaha

    • Blaqolyve

      Uhaaaa

    • Brittany

      DEADD

  • Bri-Z

    Brian, noooooo! This is almost upsetting. I can’t deal with this mohawkoonery. Let me show you how some clippers work.

  • http://twitter.com/cunnelinguist Steph

    I can’t breathe Brian pls

  • Stina9337

    notice his overly excited grin in the last three seconds tho

  • Steph_Shade

    The fact that he still sampled “Back at one” for this track about vaginal squirting.. I just.. *exits*

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessomia Jessomia JuiceMuny Cornegay

    dead.

  • ShadeFaYaNerves

    Ch Brian, that chair is not big enough, you need to be reseated in all the seats at the staples center

  • Suchalady

    This makes me sad :(

  • http://twitter.com/Nicoley410 Nicole

    in my head i could see Brian McKnight being Wayne Brady’s less successful little cousin or something….. thanksgiving would be so bad for him even though theyre technically ‘equals’

  • Boima freeman

    Lol ha ha this fool gotta be joking. Lol ha ha let me show you it works you shoulda brought it to me first ha ha ha ha this ain’t no car nigga

  • Beck

    The day a nigga knows more about a female’s vagina than a female does is the day Brian Mcknight writes a song about……….ch. nvmd.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michelle.barrow1 Michelle Barrow

    Lmao! he should be ashamed.

  • Adrienne

    Is this Negro out of his mind smh. There is an extensive epidemic going on where men are growing vaginas . . Brian is proof *hums pu**y worth tune*

  • CAG

    Y does this sound like ‘One Last Cry’? Lolololol Bye Brian!

  • Ladyfresh85

    ………..welll I guess I know the real meaning of “let it snow” now? O.o

    Jesus hold me……it’s way too early for this shit!

  • http://twitter.com/Anskylove AJBeezy

    I also vote no!! with your Stevie Wonder sway, you can’t be singing about the P….I. CANT. 

  • MirahMirahOnDaWall

    Lmfao ummmm Brian…I already had a problem when I saw those shorts and calf high “fuck me” boots you got on. 
    But when you got the nerve to write a damn pussy nursery rhythm then there needs to be an intervention. 
    For a while I didn’t even think you were into the cookie, I thought u were an exclusive member in the Johnny Gill club. 

    I can’t, I won’t and I damn sure will not ask why

    • ShadeFaYaNerves

      but why do you kill me so? Momma get my church clothes so I can look open casket sharp

      • MirahMirahOnDaWall

        Lol I will speak your eulogy and give your family my sincere apologies for my shade.
         I just can’t deal with Uncle Brian giving me Trey Songz lyrics with crusty knees and low self esteem. I feel dirty just looking at him now. 

        • Treo700gurl

          My tears overflow at your accurate, yet deadly, prose.

    • OverIt.edu

      *passes clean the fuck out*

  • Trevonparismuhammad

    This is depressing – what is the world coming to? Brian Mcknight made classics, Anytime, Back at one , Home , Biggest Part of me etc… how could he stoop to this level??? SELL OUT!

    • Tam

      NO, he really believes in this shite, I could see it!

  • heymsdavis

    So I guess everybody forgot about his collaboration with Juvenile a while back called “Addicted (to what the d!ck do)” (Youtube “Juvenile Addicted”)… I saw this coming. Poor thing, Tracy Songz done stole the spotlight and now Mr. McKnight is back at zero. smh. 

  • Nate

    *checks calendar to see if it’s the first of April*

  • CocoBunny

    *Rolls over in casket*

  • Ceeburg

    Marvin Gaye wrote an entire song in 1976 about wanting to give a lady some head, and it took me to get 25 years of age to understand exactly what the hell he was singing about…lol. This shit aint new, he is just awful at it. NO SONG SHOULD EVER HAVE P*$$y and squirt in the chorus…

    • Lacrondrac

      Which song was it?

  • Anonymous

    Are we sure this is not a Burger King ad?

  • Driven_Beauty

    Now had this been R. Kelly…it’d be a hit! Don’t front…

    • SueMe.

      It would still be creepy as hell

      • http://www.therapyiseffinexpensive.wordpress.com Zan

        It really would; no matter WHO did the song, it would still suck.

  • http://twitter.com/cocainelorraine victoria lorraine

    As Miss Vida Boheme would say, what fresh hell is this?

  • Mizznell

    But why???

  • Shellbee

    LMAO!!!! This shit needs to be posted on Funny or Die immediately! Can’t stop laughing! Is this nigga serious?!

  • Mizznell

    Couldn’t he just got a tattoo or a motorcycle like regular guys do when they have a midlife crisis

  • WORD

    I can already see this being the “first dance” song at a hood wedding…

  • Sarah Lacefront

    Where is Chappelle when you need him? 

  • Anonymous

    I hate that he’s getting so much publicity for this nonsense.

  • SiennaS

    Mr. Mcknight is so serious with this hot mess too!  http://www.examiner.com/article/brian-mcknight-questions-criticism-will-proceed-with-adult-mixtape

    “It’s funny how we listen and
    let our kids listen to songs about killing people and selling drugs and
    calling women b***hes,” McKnight said at one point. “I wrote this song,
    crude as it may be, about satisfying all women and look what happened.”

    Honey, no. Just…no.

  • TrinaBaby

    Did this muthaphucka say he wants to “show my how my pussy works??”

    ‘Scuze me Brian, but I learned just how well my punanny works many moons ago… don’t need your creepy, perverted uncle vibe around my ladybits, thankyouverymuch!!!

    #tryingtostayrelevant 

  • SomeWittyName

    but….how….I mean…*sigh*
    Are times really this hard?? Not only is this pathetic….most females are well aware of how the va-jay-jay works. In fact, it can do things that can and will scare the hell outta you. He know he dead ass wrong for putting these lame ass lyrics to a Boys II Men sample. I blame those cut-off shorts and calf boots. They cut off his circulation. Of all the real shit he could’ve done, did he REALLY think a vagina tutorial was the way to go?!?!

    I can’t, and I WILL NOT….and no one can make me!!

  • Hazel

    In the words of Sweet Brown “ain’t nobody got time for this”

  • Brittany

    this fuckery made me laugh

  • Caramel Love

    No no o….

  • Kyana

    Damn Kid, you typed the words right outta my thoughts…

  • Jencendiary

    Can’t he just buy his lady friends a copy of the original Our Bodies, Ourselves from the 60s and go back to singing nice love songs for the kids? My friend’s mama, who plays his Christmas record with Boys 2 Men on a regular basis, is going to be DEVASTATED. 

    Put me on Team I Can’t. 

  • Stephanie

    Brian, when you learn how yours work, then you can show me how mine works!!! :-/

  • DeezNuts

    Brian McKnight is like that family member that comes to the family get together and your grandma is like, “who in there watchin’ them kids?”