Give a bitch an inch, and she wants to fly her ass to Moscow. When I saw this photo of Laurie Ann Gibson and her Lip Smackers covered grill over at Necole Bitchie, I almost choked on yesterday’s breakfast. I’m still confused and distraught over it. I just…I can’t deal with this shit.

John Legend, P!nk, and Cassie all stopped by FNMTV yesterday to premiere their latest videos — guess which one of the three I am going to disrespect.

When I see Cassie, I often feel the need to rub some wart removal cream on my TV or computer screen. I don’t know what other route to take in getting rid of her. Yes, the girl is a knockout in (outer) beauty, but she is to music as Ma$e is to preaching — the shit just ain’t right. You know Cassie’s nipple pincher, Diddy, was also on set to help her with her debut. I suppose you can catch the video for, “Official Girl”, on MTV tomorrow night.

BTW: I love the fact that Solange is killing a boatload of these hoes, today. Who would’ve thought?

I have returned! Before I jump back into the madness, can I just testify to the fact that Tropical Storm Tina Fay was the weakest and most boring mix of wind and rain to ever touch base on this Miami land? I had an urge to mock the thing by going outside and singing a joyous melody, but I suppressed it.

Anyway, I have to take time to remember that some people out there might have it worse than myself — people who may owe a hefty amount of cash to the government. Oh, hello there, Dame.

Dash and Rachel Roy reportedly owe $7.3 million on their two New York apartments and the bank holding the mortgages has begun the process of foreclose on the properties.

According to court documents filed on Monday of this week, Eastern Savings Bank alleges that Dash and Rachel Roy have failed to make monthly payments of $78,500.

Last year, the self-proclaimed “Cake-a-holic” was listed among those who owed money in back taxes to the State of New York. Dash reportedly owed the state over $2 million in taxes. Dash previously filed a lawsuit against his accountant alleging his money was mismanaged over a four-year period. [ source ]

Hmm, it’s not too late to make a sex tape. I mean you might have to get some supreme rainbow kissing on camera to really push the sales over the edge, but a sex tape could definitely earn you that money back, kids. Music and fashion damn sure isn’t taking you too far.

Well folks, it’s that time of year again. The waters are warm and the rains are coming. We South Floridians are currently preparing for Tropical Storm Tina…well actually the storm was named Fay, but I figured I would make the shit fun for me somehow.

Anyway, this thing is supposed to hit later tonight and it already looks like hell outside. I figured I would let everyone know that I will probably be absent from the net for a while. With this weak ass power in my area, the sky could fart and my electricity will be down. It sucks, but you get used to it.

Well, I’m gonna stack up on some last minute supplies (water, batteries, and Ramen) and wait this shit out. See you when I see you.

Shouts out to Michael from The Cynical Ones for posting this video up. Omarion (Chris Strokes’ prized possession) is working on a new sound for his upcoming release and to accompany it he decided to go for a new look, as well. He cut his braids off — the very braids that he has been rocking since the dawn of his career. [ dramatic pause for emphasis ]

I don’t really give a frog’s fat ass what this guy’s head looks like. Honestly, I didn’t even watch the whole video, but I’m sure Trey Songz is a tad upset. Is this the new road to a blog interview? New hairstyles? I guess we can expect Chris Brown to grow a jheri curl and Usher to braid Tameka’s back.

Rumor has it that Playboy has once again approached Lil’ Kim about posing nude for the magazine, but this time around she might go through with it. Now, I have been advocating the use of desperate actions to scrape up these coins — what with the recession and all — but I’m gonna vote no on this shit. Kim has lost all the sex appeal from her Junior M.A.F.I.A. days. If I wanna know what she looks like naked, I’ll just pop a Crayola paint set and some brown Play-Doh in the microwave for 5 minutes — same shit.

…and that is when Tina K promised her riches beyond her wildest dreams in a magical place for abandoned R&B artists like herself — I’m glad to see she escaped the crypt.

So now, after hearing Teairra Mari’s story, you know how grimy your idols can be…and ya’ll talk about me being mean. My theory: Rihanna told Jay to drop Ms. Mari while she was juggling his balls on her tongue. That way they could focus only on the career of the Bajan and her forehead of mystery. You know it’s probably true. Hold your head up, T!

[ video snatched from Rap-Up ]

I don’t know how I missed this. MTV Tr3s held their “Fashionista” runway show in New York a while back and I was a little curious as to whether or not that term really means fuckery. Not only were Aubrey and Jade (yes, that Jade) invited to the event, but they were also asked to participate. This all added to the fact that I truly believed someone shitted on Lloyd’s head, only to realize it was his hair. I guess Jaslene and her jawbone won me over this time around. Fashionista premieres on MTV Tr3s on August 16th.

More mess underneath…

Sit back and let the soothing sounds of Mary J. take control. I know you all remember this song.

Not too long ago, I posted some photos from the set of Cassie’s video for, “Official Girl”, her new single. One of you readers pointed out that she seemed to be mimicking Aaliyah’s old style. I didn’t see it too much then, but this new photo came across my face like the back of a greasy pimp’s hand. You all can be the judges of this, but I will say that there is definitely a fly in this here Metamucil.

Oh, and since Cassie’s label mate, Aubrey O’Day, pretty much snitched on her relationship with Diddy during Wendy Williams’ talk show, this is not the best time for homegirl to be acting up.