I apologize for my absence. I nabbed a gig interning in Sector 10C of the Wig Crypt and it was taking up the majority of my schedule. Things didn’t work out over there, though. Kizzy, Mya, and Amerie were planning an escape and almost got me executed by Tina. I had to quit that bitch!

I hope you all can accept this video as a symbol of my apology. May it bring you a smile!

Why does this look like a fanmade YouTube video? Someone explain.

Mariah Carey is the MTV Artist of the Week and, of course, along with that title come a bunch of little commercials attempting to hit comedy. Here she pokes fun at blogs and dogs with her pup JJ (voiced by Snoop Dogg).

More fuckery under the cut.

…and that’s all you need to know!

[ pic via Lil’ Creole Pimp  ]

I’m still salty about Fiascogate, but I’m trying to free myself. Great rap music is great rap music.

Forhedda finally took a break from her bush burner, Chris Brown, to take her dog, Oliver, to lunch last Friday. That thing is getting big as hell! She must be feeding him Church’s Chicken or something, because he looks like a Pokemon.

For some reason, I just see that poor pooch crying out for help in these photos. He doesn’t need fame or fortune…all he wants is some bacon and a good carpet to drag his ass across.

Charlamagne Tha God, of The Wendy Williams Experience, made a very interesting clip of  “5 Ways to Use a Chingy Album”, in which he disrespects Chingy and his music in various ways.

Now, this shit is not going to get you into heaven, Charlamagne. We all know Chingy is no longer relevant. Why do you have to beat a Negro when he is down? This is the type of shit Alicia is talking about. Lord!

You can also use those CDs as paperweights, though…just so you all know.

“‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.” ~ Alicia Keys claims that the government created gangsta rap as a genocide.

I’d have to disagree. “Gangsta rap” was a conception formed by gangsters — most of whom were black, and some who killed and/or would kill another black. I am not doubting that there are government officials who don’t mind watching our people slaughter one another. They may have even played a significant role in the frustrations that led to the gangster lifestyle and music, but I neither blame them for it, nor do I think they created it. Like Ronald Reagan sat down NWA and said “Listen. You ornery niggas have got to go. Commence with the killing”. 

I love you, Alicia…but you need to sit down.

[ quote via Blender ]

Hello Janelle Monae,

A few of my campaign interns have introduced me to your art. I’m impressed by your soulful and futuristic style that interbreeds Sam Cooke with Judy Garland. I’m captivated by your astonishing gift to convey heavy issues with symbolic design. And, I find your message to be powerful yet fun. I wish nothing but the best for you. Continue to introduce us to all that the Wondaland Art Society has to offer. Wishing you nothing but the best.

-Barack Obama.”

Now, that says something…I guess.

I like that Janelle is getting recognition these days, because she is absolutely brilliant. If you have not checked out her music, make yourself familiar. She is what the industry has been missing.

[ quote via Myspace ]

A wise man once told me that with riches and fame can sometimes come the feeling of nonfulfillment. Kobe has made basketball history, raped white women, and created a shoe for us all to laugh at in the local Foot Locker. What does he do next?

He jumps over speeding automobiles.

Sorry to say that this is not Jackass, and although I believe the stunt was rigged, if he was to get run over by that car, I would have laughed my ass off.