Speaking of horrible new films, I was shocked to walk into my home the other day only to see this DVD sitting all proud by my television set. It looks like Vivica Fox smuggled in a sequel to her 2001 film, Two Can Play That Game.

Shanté Smith has moved to Atlanta where she’s the Love Doctor, helping women get their men to the altar. Tiffany calls her after she catches her boyfriend, Byron, in a clinch with his boss, Carla, just after he wins a competition similar to “The Apprentice.” Shanté initiates a five-step program for Tiffany while Byron seeks advice from his best friend, Gizzard [ SAY WHAT?! — Kid Fury ]. The five steps include her meeting his family and her offering and withholding sex; Byron and Gizzard respond with their own strategies. Then, Bryon consults Shanté: has the Love Doctor switched sides? And, what happens if Byron finds out that Tiffany’s playing games? Can true love run without a play book?

Is this the level we had to dive down into to keep our name in the Blue Light Special section, Viv? The sad part about all this is that I thought “Two Can Play” was a pretty good flick, but I’ll be damned before I seep down into this shit. All that Photoshop treachery on Ms. Fox’s face is enough comedy for me, thanks.

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