So, I’m making a couple rounds on the celebrity fansites this chilly Miami afternoon and I happened upon this photo of Trina from Black Men Magazine (the one on the right). Then, I thought to myself, “something about this shit ain’t right”.

KaTrina, you know I love you like Rick Ross loves cake, but your tittays have never been that damn supple. No more Photoshop cut-ups, please! I don’t give a damn what the industry says is sexy! If you have a flat chest, embrace it! Squeeze those non-existing jugs and be proud of what you’ve got…or don’t got!

“It has been revelaed that Kelly Rowland will wear her birthday suit for an upcoming cover shoot for PLAYBOY magazine. The Destiny’s Child singer is reportedlly receiving around $500,000 - $1 Million dollars to pose in the nude.” [ source ]

So it has come to this, Michelle…I mean Kelly? The album doesn’t move in your favor so you decide to show off your chocolate box in Playboy for a boost in sales? I know Tina raised you better than that. Shame on Hugh Hefner and his people for taking advantage of a woman when she’s down. I mean let’s get some tit action from Amerie while we’re at it!

Nah, I doubt this is true, but if it is expect to see those photos everywhere, including here.

I wasn’t planning on posting today — life is a crisis, but that didn’t stop me from checking into my favorite blogs. Now, when I ran up into this “ad” on Crunk+Disorderly I had to squeeze in some time to comment on it.

First of all, with the lack of female MCs excelling in the industry, these hoes really don’t have time to be shooting daggers at each other. Khia, hasn’t had a nationwide hit since that record about her decomposed pussy, and even that wasn’t a huge success. So, all this funny business is unnecessary. Then to top it all off, she had the nerve to post this on her Myspace page with more misspelled words than a Fantasia essay. This ignorance shall not fly!

Well, who knew this chick had a funny side?

Janet is being featured as the MTV Artist of the Week starting today, and as a part of her campaign she has been shooting small parodies of a few of MTV’s orginal shows. I enjoyed watching the clips, because they truly were pretty funny. Besides, JJ is gonna need some fresh promo — Lord knows that album seems doomed at this damn point.

More spoofs under the cut.

It’s bad enough that Kelly Rowland is trying her hardest to beat at that dead horse of an album, but Instyle Magazine just made everything harder when they printed Michelle’s name underneath Kelly’s photo. Ouch! I’m not gonna lie — I feel for the girl, but this shit had me rolling. You just can’t find quality humor like this everyday.

[ originally scanned by the good folks at YBF ]

Sgt. Frank Russo described what led two Maryland State Police officers to pull over two vehicles around 10:30 p.m. Thursday night on Route 50 westbound near Rising Eagle Rd.

“They observed what appeared to be two vehicles driving in tandem at a high rate of speed,” Russo said.

One occupant was Nahum Grymes, better known as J. Holiday, who had just finished up his performance at UMES.

“There was visual observation of marijuana on his person, on his front shirt, and that coupled with the odor of marijuana, Mr. Grymes was arrested for that,” Russo said.

A search of the vehicle yielded a nominal amount of marijuana in the center console. J. Holiday and one other occupant, George Jackson, face drug possession charges. [ source ]

First of all…Nahum Grymes? Ugh…what kind of ugly ass government name is that?

Now, in an attempt to wrap this up quickly I’ll just say to celebs, when you are driving: A) stay within the speed limit. Police don’t give a shit if you sold 5,000 ringtones. They will whoop your ass if they get the chance — ask Rodney King. B) If you must smoke weed, do it when you get home and not in your car. As a matter of fact, just get a weed-carrier to transport your shit in another vehicle. Stop giving people a reason to call you black and ignorant!

What in the upcoming VH1 reality show hell is this fuckery? Plies, I am holding you fully accountable for allowing all the local hoes, heifers, shones, skanks, skeezers, dykes, cumguzzlers, and hoodrats to display their true colors on this the month of our people’s history. I don’t know what a “Bust It Baby” is, but if they’re anything like these ladies, I’m gonna vote no.

Someone call Bootz & Buckeey and reserve them spots on the show.

[Thanks CheezyDodo]

See, this is the type of shit that makes you wanna punch a newborn baby in the face.

Tiffany (New York) Pollard will be back with a third season of her VH1 reality show, this time sharing the bill with her ne’er-do-well boyfriend George (Tailor Made) Weisgerber.

“The season is going to be called ‘New York Loves Hollywood’ and will follow her attempt to become an actress in Los Angeles,” says an insider.

“They are currently trying to cast established industry people in Hollywood to be on the show with her.”

Fingers are crossed for a hot-tub scene with her and Harvey Weinstein. [ source ]

Here’s my question regarding this…WHY? Wasn’t her two minutes of screentime on First Sunday good enough?

And the magazine cover mayhem starring Janet Jackson has begun. I just want to see her spread across the front of KING with the So So Def logo branded on her ass and a roasted apple stuffed in her mouth. Harris Publications, let’s make this a go!

Speaking of American Idol heifers, look who’s hitting the block with a new music video. You think you’re slick, don’t you Paula? You just sat in that judging seat for six years allowing everyone to think that you were sweet and innocent, when deep down you were just using all of this as undercover promo to lead to a new comeback! You sick bitch!

I’m not mad at Abdul. She can do her thing if she feels the need. I just hope her Depends G-String holds tight onstage when she’s busting those dance moves. She’s like a cold pizza from last week.