Alter-egos – they’re the new way of the world. I found mine quite a while ago. He really comes in handy around tax season.

Thank you to Fresh for debuting this photoshop fiasco for the world to see. Not only is the cover lame, but it’s been done. Hop off, T.I.!

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the legendary “Chongalicious”. Okay, quick history lesson: This song was created by two 17-year old Michael M. Krop Senior High students here in Miami. Their names are Laura DiLorenzo and Mimi Davila. Ever since its emergence, “Chongalicious” has become a local hit, spinning on Power 96 radio more than a 50 Cent record.

Originally, I thought this shit was ignorant as hell, but now I can admit that it is actually really funny. Jiggle them lovehandles, girls! Do it for all the chongas in Hialeah! Shout out to Think2Wice for bringing the video to my attention.

The Game is shooting off his mouth again. He claims that his 3rd album will be his last, for he wants to spend more time with his family, and he’s done what he needed to, and the fish don’t fry in the motherfuckin’ kitchen. Jayceon is so notorious for saying things just for the sake of it, then doing the complete opposite. I doubt he is being truthful, but if he is, good riddance.

I know I took a while to get back in action. Forgive me, but this year’s Memorial Day weekend was a long, exhausting, bag of shit. People always question my reasons for hating Miami. Reason number 231: You can always count on some Negroes to come to town and show their asses (literally). Here are a few photos captured from this weekend of drunken fools and their ambiguous behavior.

Jesus be a plane ticket.

[Continue Viewing These Coons...]

To my beloved readers,

No, I’m not shutting The Fury down – never that! However, as most of you know, we are set in the middle of Memorial Day Weekend and Miami is packed to it’s geographical brim. I can’t stand out-of-towners, but we have to deal with them. I will be working a lot of these meaningless events most of the weekend and won’t have time to post anything up. I might not be present on the coming Monday either. Sorry, folk. Have no fear, though. If I see Beyonce throw her guts up inside the club, I will let you all know.

Jacki-O looks like a dirty ass retired prostitute trying to get back in the game for weed money. Like her sweat alone can melt the flesh from your bones. Eww! I haven’t heard too much from Jack since the shoplifting incident, but it looks like she’s got a new mixtape out. The question is: Do you care?

Didn’t think so.

I guess all of those “ellas” finally caught up to Forehedda’s digestive tract, because she was singing like she had a mean dookie on it’s way out of you-know-where.

I’m kidding.

I thought her little performance was cute. Congratulations must go Rihanna’s way for being the first female artist with a single to go #1 in the UK on downloads alone. The British know what they like, and that’s scalp.

Big ups to That Grape Juice!

Hailing from my own home state of Florida, Girlfriend is the newest female R&B trio to hit the scene. Jacksonville ladies, Chante, Nina, and Bree have been grinding together as a vocal clique for a minute. Now let’s be honest; girl groups don’t last very long…ever. Regardless, Girlfriend has a presence, style, and sound that grabs my attention. Their single “JuicyFruit” is the perfect illustration of a dominant dame’s club smash. It retains a very sensual rhythm, yet stays true to the Southern beat that we all love to bounce to. I feel that these chicks will blow soon enough. What do you all think?

Play Me: Girlfriend – JuicyFruit (feat. Rudy B)

Check their Myspace!

Has Diddy been beating up his employees?

Sean (Diddy) Combs’ top choreographer – who took a star turn on the rap mogul’s MTV reality show “Making the Band” – has accused him of threatening her with a chair during a heated argument that ended their partnership.

Laurie Ann Gibson filed a complaint with the NYPD claiming Diddy picked up a chair and menaced her with it during an argument over the lackluster performance of the TV show’s latest group of contestants.

Sources close to Diddy denied he grabbed the chair, and they insisted the argument was part of the theatrics of the TV show and that Gibson overreacted.

Diddy’s lawyer simply rejected the allegations. [ source ]

Word also has it that MTB’s celebrity judge, Michael Bivins, snatched up poor Boom Kat and held her in place while Diddy attempted to bust her ass. MTV supposedly has it all on tape. This story kind of reminds me of the time my neighbor threw a rock at his son’s mother in the midst of an argument outside. May he rest in peace.

“My whirlpool is bigger than Cam’s swimming pool.
And he shouldn’t be in front of no camera with daisy dukes on.”

It didn’t take very long for 50 Cent to get at my girl Miss Info with his reaction to Cam’ron’s poolside bitching. As you can see, he said some pretty mean things (daisy dukes, why didn’t I think of that?).

As lame as this shit is, aren’t you anxious to see how Cam will respond? Maybe he’ll record a diss record in the last stall of a KFC restroom, or something.