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 There’s nothing better than the sweet taste of grape tang in the morning, huh Fif? Curtis took time out to talk with Hell Jones in the Morning over at Hot 97 yesterday and responded to a lot of lingering questions - from Tony Yayo’s situation, to Olivia being dropped, to throwing Young Buck in timeout, and much more. A lot of people have been fired and ignored over at G-Unit Records. It feels like 50 is in it for himself now. I hope all his gorillas don’t turn against him. That may be nasty…fun, but oh so nasty.
We, the people of Miami-Dade, have been riding to this Khaled record for quite some time now. We have also been looking foward to the video. T.I., Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Baby, and Lil’ Wayne all got together to record footage for their verses, along with tons of other 305 superstars who made cameos. I’m not mad at them at all. The video was decent. I just wish we didn’t have to see that same damn bridge in every Miami artist’s video. Is that like our city landmark now?
DJ Khaled’s album We The Best! will hit stores on June 12th.
 Lots of fans hit the streets of Hollywood yesterday to support Halle Berry as she accepted her star on the Walk of Fame. I honestly thought that she had one of those under her belt already, but what the hell do we pure-bred negroes know, right? Other celebs walked the boulevard with Halle in mind, including Samuel Jackson, Johnny Grant and her own white kong Gabriel Aubry.
I’m thinking that Ms. Berry may have been chugging up the booze before this ceremony. Things aren’t looking too good.
 That’s right. Cheese it up, ladies. We all know that behind those wax-like smiles live the souls of pure racists. Ha-Ha!
– THAT sigh of relief Beyoncé and her mother, Tina Knowles, breathed last week may have been premature. Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Herman Kahn threw out former business associate Greg Walker’s lawsuit seeking $1.5 million from their House of Dereon fashion line, but Walker vows to appeal. “I’ll never give up, because I know I’m right,” he told Page Six. The judge ruled that Walker’s oral agreement - giving him a 10 percent commission for setting up the $15 million deal that created the company - wasn’t worth the paper it wasn’t printed on. “The judge was star-struck,” Walker said. And the Knowleses are subconsciously racist, he added. “I believe if I was white, I would have been paid.”
Negro, just get a new job. The Knowles Klan isn’t racist - they just hate everybody without a magic lacefront. Got one? Didn’t think so. Get on their level, hoe!
Well, I Love New York has come to an end with Tango coming out on top as Tiffany’s new boo. I had to drop my Doritos for that one. I really thought homebitch was going to choose Chance, but whatever. As long as the show is over, what else matters?
Not only did Tango end up winning New York’s heart, but he also won her hand in marriage when he proposed to her out of nowhere! Dum-Dum-Didday!
Hate to burst any bubbles, but from what loose lips have been saying, the relationship is already over. Oh, and you probably never even knew that Tango is an aspiring rap artist…a really bad one at that. Go fuckin’ figure.
 Bet you didn’t know that Fergie used to be a dopeboy, er, dopegirl - the heffa sold drugs, okay? It took a near-death experience to get her life on track.
“I had a gun put to my head during a drug deal that went wrong. Luckily I got out of it.”
Now, she should have known that when Bobby says he wants a brick he means it. So kids, let Fergie’s mistakes be a lesson to all of you; don’t use or distribute drugs…and never try to lick your own cooch. It’s bad for your health.
Jennfer Lopez took a trip to the courthouse yesterday for jury duty wearing her sweet old abuela’s coat and a Persian swap meet bag - stylin’ on you hoes as usual! I still don’t know what happened to the sexy Puerto Rican firecracker we used to know in J.Lo, but this whole desperate soccer mom look is enough to make a man’s sperm count drop.
Stupid is running rampant around this damn country; be careful. Rumor has it that Diddy knocked up his snowbunny Aubrey O’Day of Danity Kane. Then of course, folks also say that he impregnated Cassie, Sienna Miller, and we know Kim Porter just blasted out two girlies a few months ago. Seems like Bad Boy sperm is everywhere - making an army, are we Puff?
So, people have been twisting their G-strings up over this video of Aubrey and D.Woods shopping for baby supplies in some grocery store like she’s really of child. Jokes on you fools! It was all a prank says Bad Boy. What an impressive sense of humor these hoes have. Let’s drop the garbage gossip, please. It’s wack.
I commend Mr. Wall for being a good dad to his little boy, but I must never, ever, ever see a toddler-sized grill in that child’s mouth. I know he and the wife have been thinking about it. Let’s not go that far, please.
 FYI: My new name for Rihanna is Pastel, because she’s basically a drawing of what Def Jam wants her to be instead of who she actually is. You can’t fool me, bitch! Your E! True Hollywood Story will one day shed the light.
Anyway, here is the cover for her new single, Umbrella, featuring Joe SweetDick Camel himself. This little Bajan just doesn’t take a break - she’s got music to make and cum to drink. Please, control your hate.
Pastel’s new album Good Girl Gone Bad hits stores in June.
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There’s nothing better than the sweet taste of grape tang in the morning, huh Fif? Curtis took time out to talk with Hell Jones in the Morning over at Hot 97 yesterday and responded to a lot of lingering questions - from Tony Yayo’s situation, to Olivia being dropped, to throwing Young Buck in timeout, and much more. A lot of people have been fired and ignored over at G-Unit Records. It feels like 50 is in it for himself now. I hope all his gorillas don’t turn against him. That may be nasty…fun, but oh so nasty.
