To the amazement of the music industry, entertainment industry and millions of fans worldwide Tupac Amaru Shakur, a hip hop star and screen actor long believed to be dead, will be returning to the public spotlight in a controversial live taping on the popular television show Mind of Mencia. The show will air Sunday April 15th on Comedy Central at 10pm, 9pm central.

“That’s why I chose to come back on Mind of Mencia” said Mr. Shakur in a telephone conference with several news media organizations. “Cause Carlos keep it real.” [ spotted @ Miss Info TV ]

Let me help out those of you who haven’t pieced the puzzle together yet. This is all fake! Sure, you will see a Tupac on Mind of Menica, but it will really be the schmuck pictured above left acting as him. Said schmuck goes by the name of Josh Harraway and seems to think he’s really the Hip-Hop legend.

It’s understandable though. Every other month, I go to Don Imus’ House of NappyHead Hoe-Hair and add a few colorful locks to my dome. Then I hit the block and impersonate George Clinton. It makes me whole.

[ pic source ]

She’s no Sanjaya, but Halle Berry is looking good on this cover and I’m not suprised. She still doesn’t light my fire the way she used to though. However, this fine woman here will forever be a sex goddess. She’s like the spice on my ham.

Thanks to my homegirl at Juicy-News for enlightening me on the fact that the first episode of VH1’s new show, Charm School with Mo’nique, has hit the web. Let’s not lie to ourselves and act like we don’t want to watch. Check it all out here.

What do you name the illegitimate child of a washed-up pop star and a donkey? Melanie Brown knows and its…Fortuna Daphne Bay! Don’t hate on genius! With a previous daughter named Phoenix Chi, I’m thinking of enlisting Mel to provide my firstborn with a juicy moniker like her own.

Still no word when Eddie Murphy will take a paternity test for Lil’ Fortuna, but I hear Maury is willing to put the whole thing to rest for a can of Bush Beans and a strip of bacon.

I really like Fantasia and its nice to hear her speak so honestly and lovingly towards her fans. Who gives a refried shit if she can’t read Dr. Suess books. True success is measured by the strength in your heart…and in your hair. She’s got the heart part downpacked.

50 Cent is a big meanie. In case you missed last night’s episode of ANTM, the girls were sent to an industry party where they were challenged to build up their skills for networking. One model named Jael (the one who sniffs cocaine - I think…) decided to annoy the hell out of Curtis the whole night and ended up being shoved into the pool by him.

Poor thing. Hey, at least he didn’t punch her in the throat or snatch out her grill. She’ll be okay.

Nia Long enjoyed a ladies night out with her homegirls yesterday at the Knicks game in NYC - looking good as usual. The hot topic at halftime: who was going to take this sweet piece of ass home with them for ice cream and cake. No word if old boy hit that just yet, but I’ll keep you posted.

Ha!

They both sing, they both dance, and they both scream “Oink” when their boyfriends hit it from the back. Take this as a compliment, Tiny. Petunia Pig may be realer than you!

“I’ve become the main guy, that means producers are following me. What that means is real music comes back, because what I do is real music. When that happens, then I did my job”

Whatever, I still don’t like you.

Make sure you check out the current issue of Fader Magazine online here.