It’s been a minute since I’ve dropped this hoe’s name on a post. Well not really, but a week without Bouncy is like a lifetime, isn’t it folks? If another blogger hasn’t already slapped you upside the head with the info, B’Day: Deluxe Edition is ready to hit shelves next Tuesday along with the anthology of videos. I actually got a copy in early and the new tracks are really nice. Can’t wait? Well, here is a taste of what’s to come – Beyoncé’s video for “Freakum Dress”. Just try not to stare into her eyes. Mama Tina has a new spell implanted in these that can cause your cerebellum to disintergrate…true shit.

Okay, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The Ray-J & Kim Sex Tape has been revealed. Yay, confetti, backflips and all that shit. I’m actually happy that the tape has finally leaked; not so much because I wanted to watch it, but moreso because I want people to see how boring it is so they will shut the hell up about it!

This garbage is NSFW and please don’t be a pathetic bastard and play with yourself while watching it. Click here for the ride of your fuckin’ life…

“Every action generates an equal and opposite reaction. My statement about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone was a reaction to an incident I care not to discuss in any forum, and while I may have felt justified, I do owe an apology to Christina, Joss and their families.

“The comments I made about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone were purely an act of retaliation not of malice or cruel intent. As we all have our boiling points, I sincerely apologize as this is not my character nor should I have let anyone’s actions push me to this limit. I have let my family, friends, employees and business associates down with my actions.”

I guess snorting cocaine is kind of like having unprotected sex; you may feel bold when you’re doing it, but when you start itching you wanna beg for salvation. Don’t try that boo-hoo shit now, nigga! You just have to learn that when a woman doesn’t want you, she just doesn’t want your ass. Diddy got over it and you can too.

So, people have been tipping be on this rumor that Rakim may be packing up his Hefty bag and moving on over to Curtis Jackson’s bosom as a new member of G-Unit. If this is true, then Hip-Hop not only died, but it resurrected itself and then commited suicide. First Katt Williams joins Dipset, then Michelle Branch supposedly jumped on the short bus with The Inc. – don’t do this to us, Rakim. Just try busting freestyles over the intercom at Marshalls. You may go broke, but you’d have my respect.

Okay, normally I wouldn’t defend this herb, but a lot of folk have been acting really silly about this picture. “Usher Has Gone Blonde!” they shriek. For the love of Ultra Sheen, you just saw some recent photos of the boy like a month ago with his usual fade, and we all know Jonetta did not make any miracle-grow haired babies. It’s a wig used to cheer on an NBA player with a similar style! Drop the shit – thanks!

If you haven’t heard, Dallas Austin has been accusing a lot of female singers of sleeping with producers, including himself, for their beats. To that and the above video I say: Nigga, drink bleach. Nobody gives a rotisserie-grilled shit about you or Joss “Almost Black Enough” Stone.

I’ll give you three good reasons why I don’t believe anything Dallas Austin says:

A.) He sniffs cocaine in Africa.

B.) Joss, Christina Augilera, and Chili (all the women he’s dogging) had previous relationships with him, but left for other men. Dick must’ve tasted like pickled sausage. Can you say “scorn”?

C.) The nigga sniffs cocaine! Would you believe a crackhead?

[ pic source ]

Oh, I won’t stand for this shit. These Beyoncé stans need to attend praise and worship. Be’ may be a role model for a lot of you women out there, but please don’t try to transform into her. I got love for the big girls, however if you are a size 22 Piggly-Wiggly coupon-holder, you have no business squeezing into Dereon attire and doing backbends in front of your living room television. Get it together!

Technology is starting to get a little out-of-hand. Who the hell installs a booty wash inside their bathroom? Does it wax the crack too, Will? Hmm? Is that how you get your nut busted, Mr. Smith? I think Jada should confiscate this little “toy” from you before it starts to effect the children.

A taxi driver swears to the following: Last week, he was driving Terrence Howard , who’s been dating Naomi Campbell, and “a tall blond woman. He was talking very loudly and said, ‘I want you to pop the zits on my back with your teeth,’ and then leaned forward and yelled at me, ‘And you can tell Page Six!’ Nasty.” Well, the driver told us. But a rep for Howard says it must have been a doppelganger, as Howard “was in New York but wasn’t in a taxi.” [ source ]

See, The-One-We-Call-Slickback is a professional at sex talk. He knows just what to say to make a woman’s coochie quiver. There is no need for his reps to deny it. Pimples weren’t the only things popping in the back of that cab; freaks!

Bucky Fifty used a segment on Skyblog to announce to his fans that his album, Before I Self-Destruct, will be in stores on June 19th. Yippy-Ki-Yo-Ki-Yay!

The only reason I posted this video is because I thought it was funny how Curtis’ face is the same black as the “Records” marquee behind him. All you can see is teeth – Cheshire Cat style.